


Until You Found Me

by SuseliebeSuse



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Drug Abuse, F/M, Family, Rape Aftermath, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-03 06:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14562441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuseliebeSuse/pseuds/SuseliebeSuse
Summary: When a sign from his Long missed wife appears, Derek is more than willing to find her, save her and bring her back to him. Will he find her in time or is he too late?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Morcia Story, which is originally posted on fanfiction.net, but I found this Forum and decided to publish it here as well.

It was a perfect day, the sun was shining, it was a warm summer day. Penelope was playing outside with a little girl.  
She was laughing and having fun with her, twirling her little girl around. The two-old was giggling, just like her mother did. It was a perfect picture if you looked at it, Derek thought while watching it for it seemed like hours. The photo was placed in the kitchen so everyone would be able to see it if they came in for a visit.   
Derek loved this picture, he'd taken two years ago, so much.   
The two most important people in his life. His wife and their daughter. Derek smiled sadly at this just so ideal image, after he poured himself a glass full of whiskey. Those happy times were now just a long-gone memory for him.   
Annie, two years old in that picture, was now four years old and spent her first night out of his sight in Chicago with her grannie and aunties. He was nervous as hell, wanting to call his mother every hour if everything was alright. But Derek knew that his daughter would be okay at his mother's place. Annie loved her grandma, she enjoyed spending time with her, as much as Fran did enjoy spending time with her only grandchild.   
But Annie was the only thing left in his life that made sense to him, that mattered to him.   
She kept him going.   
He took a sip from his glass, it was the only thing he did when he was alone, or his little girl was sleeping. He needed it to be able to sleep, even if it meant just for an hour or two. He walked through the kitchen into the living room, where he sat down in front of the tv. He'd already put a DVD into the player. He placed the bottle on the table and started the movie. It was a wedding movie. His and Penelope's wedding, five years ago. He leaned into the couch, taking another sip from his glass while watching the movie of the happiest moment in his life before Annie was born. Marrying Penelope those years ago had brought more than happiness in his life. When they'd both realized that they were just perfect for each other. It had taken them a while, both of them knew it. But finally, they'd realized how much more was between them than being best friends who cared deeply for one another. The moment he'd told Penelope how much he loved her, was the time when he felt everything falling into place. He'd felt complete, and he knew, Penelope had felt the same.   
They didn't waste time, married almost five months later because Penelope had wanted to have a fabulous big wedding, including all their favorite things, which hadn't been only a hand full. And, of course, with all their family and friends. Derek couldn't deny it, his one and only goal back at this time, had been seeing Penelope happy. And that was what he'd reached at this time. His wife had seemed so very fortunate. And when she got pregnant and had born their beautiful little girl, Derek had felt that they couldn't be happier as a family.   
He thought so.   
Because she was gone.   
All she'd left had been a letter those two years ago: _"Derek, I abandon you. I thought you would make me happy, but I can't stand it anymore. Don't ever try and follow me. Take care of our daughter, more than you did take care of me. Penelope"_   
Not one second he had believed what Penelope had written in that letter.   
It couldn't be real.   
Penelope would never leave him or their daughter. Never. He'd given the letter to analyst's to let it checked, wanting to know if it really had been her, writing this message. It had been her handwriting. His team was looking for her month after month, but it seemed like she'd deleted herself from earth from the day she left him.   
_"You need to go on," Hotch had told him, almost a year after Penelope had left him, left them. "Annie needs you. We need you too. You have to stay strong and leave her behind."_  
 _"I can't, Hotch. You know she would never leave me a message. She would talk to me. Hell, Penelope couldn't stop her mouth from talking, why would she write a damn letter? I would have known it. We both knew when something was going on with the other one. I would have realized if she'd been unhappy. Even if she hadn't talked about it. You know something is going on, and I won't stop until I know what it is!"_  
 _Hotch, in response, had only sighed. "Morgan, whatever it is, you'll probably never find out. Don't hang in there."_  
 _Derek hadn't given Hotch an answer. He'd stormed past him, out of his office._  
And so, he was hanging in there. He tried to do his work as best as possible. When they had a case, which took longer, his mother or sisters came to take care of Annie. When he had some time off, he just spent it with his lovely daughter. They did everything she wanted because he didn't want her to miss anything. And, to be exact, the words from Penelope's letter clung in his ears: _"Take care of our daughter, more than you did take care of me."_   
Annie missed her mother, he knew it, so they talked as much about her as possible.   
_"What was her favorite color daddy?" She'd asked him one evening when he tucked her into bed._  
 _"Oh that's pretty hard to say, sweetheart, your mummy liked every color and, in the best way, all mixed up together," he'd told her with a smile._  
 _"I want to be like my mommy too, daddy, can I?" His daughter had asked him, which caused him to smile sadly._  
 _"Of course you can. You'll be my personal rainbow Baby Doll," he'd said, smiling at his little girl who acted so much like her mother._   
Annie reminded him every day of the loss from his wife. But he loved his daughter deeply, he would bear every pain for her.   
"I do."   
These two words brought his attention back to the TV where his marriage still was on screen.   
"You may now kiss your bride, Mr. Morgan."   
Tears were burning in his eyes while he kept watching the marriage video and the video of the after party, refilling his glass many times. He didn't realize when he drifted off, caused by drinking and being exhausted. 

* * *

* * *

In a dark place, a once chubby woman with at one time beautiful honey blonde now dull hair was laying in the corner of her little personal cell. She was breathing heavily, trembling all over her body. She heard steps coming towards her and tried to sit up, but her arms were too weak to hold her.   
"Penelope, Penelope, what's wrong my dear?"   
She heard the familiar voice of her kidnapper. The woman opened the door from Penelope's cell and kneeled down in front of her, grinning with amusement.   
"You look like the piece of shit that you are, you know that?" The woman asked her, and Penelope tried to answer but it didn't work, she didn't know what they'd given her earlier, but she felt like she'd lost her tongue.   
"Today is your lucky day, we have some new pictures of your lovely daughter and your oh-so-sad husband. Let's get you motivated, come on!"   
The woman stood up, and two men, who Penelope hadn't realized before grabbed her by her upper arms and brought her to her feet. Penelope couldn't help a lot, her whole body felt limp, and she was still trembling. Penelope hadn't any control of her own body, but her emotions. Tears burnt in her eyes as she listened to her kidnapper. They carried her into another room. Penelope couldn't walk, at first, she stumbled a few steps, but it didn't take her long to give up and let them guys carry her. Some bruises on her upper arm more didn't matter to her anymore.   
They sat her down on a chair, chained her to it and walked away. Penelope didn't look up just one time and squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't bare one picture more, she just couldn't. It would break her all over, so she thought. But, the last two years had shown her it didn't bother anyone what she could take or not and so, one second later, a picture landed on her lap. She knew it would break her, but she longed for her family so badly that she opened her eyes, even if she didn't want to, and looked at the photo.   
It was a picture of her lovely daughter Annie. Her hair had grown since the last picture she'd seen from her a couple of month's ago. Her curly, brown hair was held by a significant pink flower on one side, which Penelope realized was her own flower she'd worn from time to time in her hair. Annie was smiling at her grandmother. She looked so beautiful, and so much like her, even if her skin had a lovely brown color, caused by her father's gene's which Penelope always had loved.   
It broke Penelope's heart all over.   
But it wasn't compared to what she saw next.   
A picture of Derek landed on her lap. He was outside, walking towards their house, in his hand a bottle, covered in a paper bag. Derek looked broken all over. His face just a mask as he greeted a neighbor on the other side of the street. A once always presented smile was missed too, his lips pressed together in a small line. His once super confident walk wasn't to be seen at all anymore. Penelope couldn't bear it anymore. She broke out into sobs, tears dripped on the picture on her lap, covered Derek's face with one of them.   
"Oh it's heartbreaking all over isn't it, Penelope?" Her kidnapper asked her, Penelope could hear the amusement in her voice. That woman enjoyed torturing her too much.   
"Your little girl grows up, copying your style. It's too cute looking at her don't you think so? But she'll never see you again, at least alive. And you won't be there seeing her grow up, becoming a woman, having her first boyfriend! Oh, you'll miss so much, Penelope," the woman said to her.   
She knew how to hit her without fist's all too well.   
"Oh, and don't you forget about your miserable looking husband. Do you know he's still looking for you? Isn't it heartbreaking? He doesn't believe the words I forced you to write. But he won't find you. Not until you hide everything we're doing. And you will do that Penelope. You know what happens if you don't get your ass up and work!" The woman hissed, standing in front of Penelope now. Again, she kneeled down in front of her, putting a hand under Penelope's chin, forcing her to look her kidnapper right in the eye.   
"You will be more productive than you've been the last days, do you understand that? Or do you want me to send a few men to your mother-in-law and your beautiful little girl?" "N...no! P.please...," Penelope managed to say through her tears and her dizzy, limp feeling, caused by drugs they gave her earlier so she would stop calling for help - even if it wasn't possible someone would hear her.   
"That's my woman! I'll have some work for you to do, some of my clients contact me, and you'll have to make our contact invisible, like the tech-genius that you are!"   
Penelope only nodded, trying to hide another sob from breaking free. She would do anything to keep her family safe. The woman released her and Penelope's chin fell to her chest. She didn't have any more strength. Two years of being here had made her lost all the hope that at some point, her team would find her. Yes, she worked on the computers almost every day, but it was impossible to send a message to them without being caught by one of the men who always stood behind her, while she'd been working for her kidnapper.   
"Give Penelope what she needs and then let that woman work," her kidnapper told someone and stood up again. Penelope didn't feel the needle which was put into the flesh of the crook of her arm. The skin there was full of bruises, for she got her drugs almost every day, so her body was contingent on these stuff for a long while now. When Penelope didn't get her dose every day, it was like hell to her. Having those withdrawals was worse than everything she'd ever experienced. Someone released her from her chains, and again, she'd been grabbed by her upper arms and was carried into the next room, where her computers were put into. They sat her down in the next chair, and this time, her legs got chained, and one of the men placed himself right behind her, a gun was aimed at her head. Feeling the drugs running through her body, Penelope started typing into the keyboard of her computers, beginning to hide the work from her kidnapper in the systems.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek's phone was ringing in the pocket of his trousers, and he woke up where he'd fallen asleep just two hours ago. His and Penelope's wedding movie was almost at an end, he was still holding a half-empty glass in his hand. His neck hurt from sitting on the couch while falling asleep.  
Derek pulled the mobile phone out of his pocket and stared at it for a moment.  
It was Hotch calling. Another case for sure.  
He slid one finger over the lock-screen and answered the call.  
"What's up, Hotch?" He murmured, trying to hide a yawn.  
"We have a new case, Morgan. Our meeting starts in 90 minutes." Hotch answered.  
"Everything alright?" Derek heard the concern in Hotch's voice and sighed deeply.  
"Yeah, I've been sleeping," he answered his leader and placed his half-empty glass on the table and rubbed his eyes to get his vision more clear.  
"Gonna get going. See ya in 90 minutes," he murmured again and canceled the call.  
He stood up and stretched his tired body, then took a look at the clock. It was ten p.m. Derek walked into the bathroom to have a quick shower. After he was dressed in fresh clothes and brushed his teeth, he grabbed his bag and left the house. He started his SUV as soon as he sat in there and drove to the BAU.  
Around 90 minutes later, Derek, Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Prentiss, and Jareau met in the conference room. They had a new technical analyst since Penelope was lost. A woman named Rose Bell. Derek couldn't look at her or even talk with her, without thinking about his loss, so he stared at the screen where Bell showed them their new case.  
"The police department in Oklahoma City called in for help. It's a very difficult one. They think it's about prostitution and substance abuse. Many women from different States are kidnapped and brought back almost two or three years after their kidnapping, dead. The last ones are from Oklahoma. In the last two years, they were almost able to make out their location. But, the thing is, every time they're about to get the unsubs, someone deletes everything out of the system, so they can't get them."  
Bell pressed a button on her remote control, and a second later, the first victim was seen.  
"Katie Lewis, 23 years old, raped and drugged. Killed by an overdose. Her parents and friends swear that she never used drugs, not even marijuana in her youth. She was missed about two years, then left in front of her parent's door, naked, full of bruises."  
Bell pressed another button so the team could get a closer look at the victim. Where once was a beautiful golden-haired, chubby young woman, laid a scrawny body, full of bruises. She had dark under-eye circles, the skin in her crook of both arms were full of needle stitches. Every bone was able to be seen under her once corpulent skin. More and more victims followed the first one until they reached the last one.  
"The newest victim, Mary Anderson, 30 years old. The same thing happened to her, raped, drugged and killed by a golden shot. Placed in front of her husband's home. Their four-year-old daughter found her in the afternoon after kindergarten," Bell sighed and pressed another button so they could see Mary Anderson. This woman, too, was blonde and placed in the same way as victim number one.  
"The victims are always the same style. Blonde hair, once a bit chubby. The women all left letters to their husband, parent's or friends, telling them to leave them," Bell told them and, for the first time since this woman joined the BAU, Derek looked right into her face.  
"Do you have one of those letters?" He asked her with a hoarse voice and Bell, a little shocked because Derek spoke to her for the first time, nodded.  
"Yes, we have them all, wait for a second...here," she told them, and soon there was a hand full of letters on the screen. They all told the same: "I abandon you. I thought you would make me happy, but I can't stand it anymore. Don't ever try and follow me." The last sentence varied from "Take care of our daughter, more than you did take care of me." To "our son" or "my sister/brother."  
Derek looked at them in shock.  
So many cases.  
So similar to Penelope's missing.  
He looked up and saw 6 people watching him in concern.  
They thought the same.  
"There's Penelope," Derek finally managed to say. Suddenly his mouth felt dry, and his heartbeat sped up. It was the first sign of his beloved wife since two years, and he just didn't know how to handle this.  
"Whoever this is, they kidnapped her! I bet she get's forced to delete all their signs!"  
His inner rage began to grow, so he stood up, his chair fell to the ground because he went too fast.   
It made all sense to him, Penelope was kidnapped by these unsubs.  
"Morgan, stay calm!" Hotch warned him, and Derek shot him a look.  
"Stay calm? Is that all you have to say? After two years, finally, we have a sign where Penelope could be. And you tell me to stay calm? Fuck off!"  
He paced through the room, watching the victims again and again.  
"I tell you to stay calm or to stay here at Quantico. Your decision." Hotch answered him, and Derek froze in place.  
"You wouldn't leave me here," he argued promptly, but soon, he felt Rossi's hand on his shoulder which caused him to turn around and face his team.  
"He's right, Morgan. We need you, you know that. But we need you calm. If, and I repeat myself IF Penelope is genuinely out there and alive, she'll need's you, if we find her, and we all know that. But you have to hold yourself together. You have to keep your head clear, you know that."  
Derek sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. His team understood him, he knew that. And he knew that he needed to become much calmer, so he just nodded.  
"Alright, alright," he murmured. "But can we just take that jet and fly over there right now."  
There was nothing to discuss, the whole team wanted to solve the case as soon as possible. So every one of the team nodded, and they all grabbed their bags to get the jet.  
Spencer joined Derek on his walk towards the jet.  
"It's going to be alright, Morgan." Derek looked at him and threw his arm around Spencer's shoulder.  
"I hope so, Spence, I really hope."  
Derek murmured. As soon as they sat in their places, Derek decided to call his mother, letting her know that they had a severe case in Oklahoma.  
"I'll take care of Annie until you're back, Baby Boy," his mother told him with a smile in her voice. Derek hadn't said to her that it could be possible to find Penelope after these two years. If the speculation of him were correct, she would get to know soon enough.  
"Thank's Ma, tell my Baby Doll, daddy loves her so very much," he answered his mom and canceled the call, closing his eyes to hide the tears which were burning in his eyes. His team let him be at the moment, and Derek was glad about it. He couldn't stand any talking about Penelope at the moment.  
He just wanted the flight to be over. Wanted to start their investigations and, what mattered most: Derek craved to find Penelope with all his heart. He didn't try to focus on the time, he knew it would make him more and more restless, so he put his headphones on and started to listen to some music.  
 ***  
JJ and Reid were watching Derek with concern. He was too silent through their flight. The man did just, what no one expected: he stood as calm as possible.  
"I can't believe he's so calm," JJ whispered to Reid whose face looked pondering in Derek's closed-eyes direction. "I would totally freak out if it would be Will out there."  
"I think he can't believe what we've seen and heard already. He's trying to protect himself from more harm than he can take," he explained his opinion to Derek's unusual behavior.  
"He went through so much these last two years, I think he can't bear much more than he already has."  
Reid hated to profile his best friend, but it seemed to be necessary, so he did his job.  
JJ nodded. A few tears glistened in her eyes.  
"Even to think about that Garcie really is out there, with these unsubs...I don't want to imagine what they did to her. But she is his wife, I don't know what I would do if I were him," she sighed and closed her eyes for a second.  
"If she went through everything, the other victims did, we can just hope to save her before they kill her."  
Even saying this shocked JJ so hard that she stopped talking and just took Reid's hand in hers to gain some of his strength.  
Reid squeezed her hand. He thought about the same just when JJ had told it. He didn't want to think about what they had done to their dearest friend in those two years. But they would find out very soon.

 

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope was back in her private jail. The drugs caused her to be restless as hell, so she paced around her too small cell in the best way. There wasn't much room in it. But she knew, she'd done her work today. The drugs weren't so evil this time, so she was able to concentrate on her work. Not like the last times. So, she'd done her job like her kidnapper wanted, and she knew her family was safe for now.   
That was all that mattered to her now, nothing else. Like ever, the two men had raped her after her work was done. It had become some kind of a ceremony in the last two years.  
Every time she tried to lock herself out of her body, but this time it hadn't worked that well. She felt dirty and degraded, couldn't hold her tears.  
After a moment fighting against it, she allowed herself a moment to grieve.  
For her Baby Doll, she wouldn't get to see anymore. Couldn't watch her growing up, just like her kidnapper had told her earlier.  
For her Hot Stuff, she loved with all her heart and was still mourning her loss. Her other half, her soulmate she'd been searching for so long.  
For her team, especially Jayjie and her Boy Wonder, her godchild Henry and all the other beautiful people she'd met since she started working at the BAU.  
Each and every one of the faces she thought about, appeared in front of her closed eyes and she almost thought she would hear their voices. It helped her to gain some of her much needed strength back.  
Wiping away her tears after a while, she sat down in the corner of her cell and sighed deeply. Her whole body was hurting and felt like it was on fire. Somehow she knew she wouldn't make it any longer if her team wouldn't find and save her soon. The last two years had cost her so much strength, mentally and physically, she just felt that she couldn't take much more than she already did.  
Her body was addicted to drugs too much, and Penelope had seen a lot of drug victims who looked much better than she did.  
She'd seen herself in the mirror a few days before and almost hadn't recognized herself in there. Penelope was shocked to the bones since then. But instead of breaking down, she reminded herself to stay strong every day, because of her family and friends she loved so deeply. Penelope didn't know what her kidnapper would do to her child if she would fail and die.  
"I'll fight for you as long as I can," she murmured to herself and slid down the at bars of her cell onto the ground. Making herself as small as possible in her sitting position, she tried to get some rest.  She leaned her head on her knees and closed her tired eyes. Just because she knew she maybe could dream about Derek and Annie made her try to catch up on some sleep.   
Most of her dreams were haunted by nightmares these times. Just a few days ago, her cell-mate had died in her arms, caused by a golden shot. Mary had been such a kind woman, she'd been used for their kidnapper's clients. Almost every evening they'd caught and drugged her so please too many men.  
These last days with Mary had been heartbreaking for Penelope. Seeing this woman die a bit every day, after two years of sharing a small cell, was too hard for Penelope. Mary haunted her almost every night, her dead, cold body pressed against Penelope's chest. She felt it nearly every night as if she would still lay in her arms.  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered silently to the dead woman who had eventually found her peace.


	3. Chapter 3

When Fran hung up the phone, she felt there was something wrong with her only son. Derek seemed to be flustered, he appeared to be so so sad, and Fran didn't know what had happened to him. She'd always been worried about Derek since Penelope had left him and their daughter.  
From the first moment, she hadn't believed that Penelope had left them on purpose. Her daughter-in-law and her son had been in love too much with each other. They'd known each other supremely good, even without talking to one another. It just had happened that they were some kind of soulmates, everyone had seen that for the first time.  
Fran sighed and put her mobile phone on the table where she left it, as she walked over to her granddaughter who had fallen asleep on the couch. She was protected by her aunties, who visited them every evening since Annie was here. Both of them loved their niece very much, and Fran didn't mind their visit. To be faithful, she loved it, having both her daughter's with her.  
"Desiree, Sarah, would you mind and bring our little sunshine to bed?" She asked, and Sarah stood up promptly.  
"Sure thing, Ma," she said and pulled the little girl who didn't wake up in her arms to carry her upstairs. "Be right back," she whispered, so she wouldn't wake Annie up.  
Fran smiled thankfully at her daughter and sat down where Annie had been laying a few seconds before.  
"What's wrong, Mom?" Desiree was watching her with concern as Fran looked over to her daughter.  
"It's Derek. I think something is going on with him," Fran answered with a sigh.  
"Where is he?" Desiree asked, just as Sarah came back into the living room. "You think he needs us?"  
Fran nodded slowly. "He has a worse case in Oklahoma City, I think when he's back he needs his Ma and his sisters," she answered, and as Sarah sat down beside her, she pulled her two girls into her motherly embrace.  
"We have to help him through whatever it is girls," she murmured and kissed her daughter's one after another on their cheeks.  
"You know that's what we're going to do," Sarah said, snuggling up to her mother.  
Fran, now feeling a little bit more relieved, nodded and held her daughters in her arms while they were watching their favorite show on the TV.

* * *

* * *

  
The first thing he did around six hours later when they arrived at the Will Rogers Airport in Oklahoma, was calling his mother. Annie had always been an early bird, so he knew for sure, that his daughter would be fully awake by now and he really needed to listen to her voice.  
"Hello, Baby Boy!" His mother greeted him with a smile in her voice after the second ring.  
"Morning Ma, I bet my lovely Baby Doll is awake," he answered. Indeed, he tried to smile, too. Hearing his mother's voice had always brought a smile to his face, but this time it didn't work. He'd been tense the last hours and had a severe headache. Summarizing: he felt like shit this morning.  
"Sure, she's awake, but Derek, are you alright, Baby Boy?"  
Derek sighed, he knew his mother would sense something. Her motherly instinct always led her the right way.  
"No, I'm not," he answered. It made no sense to lie to Fran. She knew everything without telling her.  
"It's about Penelope," he began, but his mother interrupted her.  
"Stop, what is it with Penelope? You found her? Is she dead? Did she contact you?"  
"Stop yourself, mom, no one found her, and she isn't dead for now I hope. We have a case and the woman who disappeared, Mom, they left the same letter as Penelope did, they even looked the same way then she did, before they disappeared. I hope, I just hope she's there and alright."  
"Oh my God, Derek. If that's true...I don't know what to say right now because it's just...it's awesome!"  
"If it's true, Ma. I just don't know if I want to believe she's still out there, alive." Morgan sighed and looked at the team. He was walking behind them so he could talk to his Mom. Derek needed her and Annie right now, and that was all he would get for now.  
"Hey, never give up hope Baby Boy. We both knew she wouldn't have left you. But take care of you, don't let the thought about Penelope suffering lead you."  
He nodded, his Ma was right.  
"I'm trying, but it's hard, you know?" He felt too close to tears, so he stopped talking. Derek couldn't allow himself to show weakness now, he just couldn't.  
"I know, Baby. I tell you what, I won't leave my mobile phone out of my sight. So whatever it is, whenever it is, call me alright?"  
"Alright, thanks, Ma," he answered and could now smile a bit for the first time since what felt like a lifetime.  
"It's nothing, Baby Boy. You're my son, I would do anything for you. And now, here's your lovely rainbow-colored daughter waiting for her dad to talk to her!"  
He heard Fran passing over the phone to Annie and one second later listened to the voice of his daughter.  
"Hey, daddy!"  
"Hey Baby Doll, are you doing good?" He asked her while walking through the Gates of the Airport to their cars.  
"I'm doing just fine, daddy! Auntie Sarah slept in my bed with me tonight. And Auntie Desiree takes me to the park today, she wants to show me how to roller-skate!" His excited daughter sputtered. She was genuinely enjoying her time.  
"That sound's great, sweetheart, have a lot of fun, alright?" Derek said. He was glad to have his mother and sister's in Chicago. In the last two years, they've had done anything to help him through bad times.  
"I will, but daddy?"  
"Yeah, Baby Doll?"  
"I'm going to miss you so so so much!" His daughter said, her voice full of love for her daddy.  
"When you come, I'll give you the biggest hug in the whole wide world."  
A little laughter escaped Derek's lip which caused his team to look at him with sympathy.  
"I can't wait to get this hug, my Baby Doll. And I love you so very much. Bye, sweetheart. I'll talk to you as soon as I can, alright?"  
"Alright daddy, and I love you too! Bye-bye!"  
They ended the call, and Derek pulled his phone back into his pocket. He felt much lighter now that he'd talked with his mother and his daughter. Nothing would end his tension. Not until he would know if Penelope was out there. But talking to his girls had always helped him.  
So he took his place in the car, and the whole BAU team drove to the Oklahoma Police Departement.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope woke up, feeling very cold. The temperatures in the room had dropped, and she began to shiver uncontrollably.  
Some food had been placed in her cell, it wasn't much, a glass of water and some oatmeal. It wasn't that she was hungry anymore, but she ate what they would give her to stay as healthy as possible in this hell for the beloved people she felt, she needed to protect.  
"Morning Penelope!" An amused voice caught her attention as soon as she placed the empty bowl on the ground and grabbed the glass of water.  
"It's getting cold inside, isn't it? You must be freezing, poor dear. But you're my lucky star today. I have some work for you, and if you do everything right, I'll put the heater on just for you!"  
Her kidnapper's feet came into view dressed in some heels, Penelope would've loved at some point back in her life. But now she couldn't feel much. She felt just exhausted, cold and tired.  
"My husband will keep an eye on you today, for you're in our personal rooms today. But don't worry, he'll shoot you if you do anything to contact your people."  
Penelope managed to look at her kidnapper's smiling face. It wasn't a real smile, her eyes remained cold like ice.  
"They're not here anyway, why would I even try to contact them?" She answered hoarsely and leaned her head against the bars of her cell.  
"Oh, I didn't believe you could be so wrong, Penelope!"  
Her kidnapper crouched down in front of her jail and grinned at her.  
"Your beloved husband and your whole team, including the beautiful new technical assistant are here. Almost ten miles away from you." She laughed hard and stroke back her long brown hair.  
"The Police Departement sent in for help. They're after me, oh no, after us, my dear! And your job is to keep doing your work and protect me from getting caught!"  
Penelope couldn't believe what her kidnapper had told her right now. Her lips trembled a little and tears burned in her eyes.  
"Oh, what do we have here? You're about to cry?" The woman grinned at her, then stood up.  
"Paul, come on, get our special guest, we'll need to keep going!" Penelope's kidnapper called out into a walky-talky she'd pulled out of the pocket of her slim jeans.  
"Alright, Janine!"  
"Don't call me that!" The woman hissed and pressed the off button. When Penelope slowly rose to her feet, she could see the anger on her kidnapper's face. But, for the first time in the last two years, Penelope was able to feel hope, and that was such an intense feeling that she almost stopped breathing for a moment.  
Derek was near, and she finally knew her kidnapper's name. She would work on another computer which would raise her chances to send a message to her BAU team.  
To be able to stand on unsteady feet, she pulled her fingers on the bars of her cell and waited for the man to bring her to her work.

* * *

* * *

  
When Paul came into the corner of the room, where the victim of his wife was captured, he'd almost held his breath. He usually didn't work for his wife, but one of her workers had killed himself last night with an overdose, so his wife had begged him to jump in.  
Seeing this woman so weak, hurt him too much, so he kept his eyes on the ground as his wife, Janine walked past him.  
"You know what to do!" She hissed and closed the door behind her. Paul only nodded and walked to the small cell where the woman was in.  
He opened the cell door and grabbed Penelope by her upper arm. She stumbled when she tried to walk and was shivering all over. He wasn't allowed to be kind to her, and he knew that Janine was watching him, so he said nothing at all.  
Paul put Penelope's arm around his shoulder to steady her while they the to his car which was parked in the garage.  
"I'm sorry," he murmured when he pulled her into the trunk and chained her. He blindfolded her and closed the trunk.  
When he sat in the driver's place, he started his car and drove the woman to Janine and his home.  
Paul parked the car in the garage and closed the doors, locked them all before he brought Penelope out of the trunk into their house. He sat her down and chained her legs to a chair, placed right in front of a computer and unblindfolded her.  
In the sunshine, the woman appeared to be worse than he'd seen it first. She had dark under-eyes-circles and seemed very exhausted.  
She began to tremble all over, and Paul knew exactly what was happening to her.  
"Did you get your dose today?" He tried to ask kindly, and the woman negated.  
"No.o," she answered with a trembling voice and looked directly into his eyes. He wasn't able to stand her stare and nodded. Paul wouldn't give her the full dose, she already was addicted too much to these drugs, but it would be enough that it would help her body to calm down a bit. As long as she was able to work it would be okay, so he thought.  
Janine had given him a syringe earlier for her victim. He was supposed to provide her with the full fix, but he couldn't do it. Paul wasn't made for the job, Janine caused him to do, so he injected only the half dose.  
"Might be enough for now," he said to the trembling woman with a kind voice and looked in her eyes for a second. She was watching him in distrust, but eventually, she nodded.  
"Yes, sure," she said slowly and averted her eyes.  
"Let's keep it our secret alright?"  
Paul said and put a glass of water in her reach, the woman nodded slowly, but after a moment she began to speak.  
"What is it that you want from me? I've been raped often enough, you don't have to be kind."  
Paul was shocked to the bones. He didn't know what his wife did to her victims. To see it for real made him want to choke his full breakfast out of his body.  
"I don't want to rape you. I just want you to be, I don't know, as comfortable as possible I think," Paul answered, unsure about what to say to her.  
Penelope snorted. "Sure...I bet you enjoy watching your wife doing all these cruel things," she whispered as she started the computer. Paul was glad to see that she wasn't trembling that hard anymore.  
"No...not just one bit," was all he answered as he sat down beside her to watch Penelope working for his wife's safety. If he did what he enjoyed, he would tell the Police what his wife did, so that she would be locked in for a long, long time. But he couldn't betray his wife, not now.

 


	4. Chapter Four

Penelope, indeed, didn't understand what was happening to her at the moment the man grabbed her, brought her to his van and drove her to another place.  
Why did that extremely odd man bring her to his and her kidnapper's house?  
Why was she supposed to work here? Something had happened to the other man who used watched her while working, but she didn't know what exactly.  
And this new man, why was he so kind?  
While she was typing into the keyboards of her kidnapper's computer, he brought her water and some food. She couldn't imagine why he was so kind to her, she couldn't believe it and didn't accept anything from him but the water.   
Penelope wasn't used to kindness anymore. It had been just Mary and her who'd cared about each other in the last two years.  
So what did he want her to do?  
"What is it that you want from me? I've been raped often enough, you don't have to be kind."  
She told him while doing her work through a clouded mind. Penelope tried her best to do her job accurate, but the drugs didn't work as good as they did a few days before. It took them longer to made her feel better. She knew her body became more and more addicted to them, but it couldn't handle the heroin as well as he did when she was forced to take it almost two years ago.  
"I don't want to rape you. I just want you to be, I don't know, as comfortable as possible I think," Paul, her kidnapper's husband answered, unsure of what to say to, so it seemed to her.  
Penelope snorted.  
"Sure...I bet you enjoy watching your wife doing all these cruel things," she whispered as she started slowly to hide the things Janine, her kidnapper had written with their contact's.  
"No...not just one bit," the man answered with a hoarse voice to her and Penelope, looked at his direction in confusion for a moment.  
"Why are you doing this then? Do you think I want this all to happen to me?" She asked him while trying to focus back on her job.  
"I don't," was the only answer she became for a while. Slowly the drugs Paul had given her woke her up a bit more, and she began to think about what to do next.  
Would that man leave her alone so she could contact her team with an SOS? Penelope didn't know where she was, but her people eventually would find out, so she thought. She'd counted the time they'd needed to get to this house.  
But, how would she get him out of that room?  
Penelope thought about it for a while, forgetting to concentrate on her work at all.  
"You should do your job, or do you need more of this drug?"  
Paul's voice came into her mind, and she looked at him.  
"You're sitting here for minutes now. What's wrong?"  
Penelope couldn't believe that someone appeared to be so naive. Was it just a fake?  
Did they do that to harm her family?  
Paul smiled at her.  
"As long as you're here, you're as safe as possible. You can tell me what you need, my wife can't see or hear us here. I'm just looking after you because of something....happened. You can trust me."  
"Then let me go," Penelope told him, raising her chin a bit. She couldn't believe what he did say to her. It was clear that she didn't want to be here and work for Janine.  
"If you tell me I'm safe here, just let me go, I want my family back. I want my life back."  
"I can't let you go, she'll find you sooner than you left this place. Then she'll kill you and your family."  
"You could help me," Penelope hissed in his direction, focusing back on her work. She needed to go on until there was no time anymore to do her job. Until Janine would come.  
"I can't, I don't know how." The man whispered, and suddenly, Penelope believed him. He was so deferential, even to her, so Penelope understood that he really didn't know how to help her to get out of here.  
"You could. If you can't let me go, then leave me alone for a few minutes."  
She was typing into the keyboard, waiting for an answer.  
"What will you do? You can't leave. You're chained to the chair."  
"I know that I'm chained, and I won't even try to leave..." Penelope argued, focusing on her work. As long as the drugs were running through her system, she was working as fast as she could. She couldn't risk doing a bad job, to protect her family from harm.  
"So what will you do?"  
"If I tell you, you would know something, and Janine, she would realize it."  
Penelope tried and again, was confronted with silence. That man would drive her the fuck crazy if he were his husband. But she was right, Paul was to be read like an open book. If he knew what Penelope had done, Janine would experience it too all too soon, without trying too hard.  
"Do it," was his answer after almost five minutes of silence. Paul stood up and left a speechless Penelope behind him.  
But she didn't waste much her time, furiously she typed into her keyboard, using many proxy servers all around the world, to hide her IP address. She needed to cover her account as best as possible, but give her team as many information as she could. It wasn't much, but she knew, her people would eventually find her. Penelope didn't know how much time was left for her, but she would fight to see her Hot Stuff and her Baby Doll for one last time.  
With tears of hope in her eyes, she sent a message to every one of the BAU: Hotch, Spencer, Rossi, Emily, JJ, even to the new technical analyst, Rose Bell, whose name she'd found within seconds.  
Derek...he would receive a particular text from her. Penelope knew he must be on edge on his nerves. She knew him too well, she'd seen him suffer so many times these last two years, he deserved something to get to hold on. And she knew that her team was looking for her, it made her feel a bit better for now.  
Feeling some of her tension fleeing off her shoulders she deleted the things she'd used before to reach her team.  
Right in time when Janine came into the room, she opened the windows of the work she was supposed to do.  
"Where's my husband?" Her kidnapper hissed an almost ran towards Penelope.  
"I'm here sweetheart, I needed the toilet I'm sorry," Paul came back into the room. He averted Penelope's eyes, looking at his wife directly.  
"Honey, you know what she is, you can't leave her alone when she's in front of a computer. What if she sent in for help?"  
Janine hissed, Penelope, doing her last bit of work for her kidnapper, just listened to them.  
"She won't, she's very weak and slow today, I bet, she didn't even recognize that I've been away for one or two minutes," Paul argued and Penelope, really feeling more and more exhausted didn't need to act her part. The drugs didn't take hold of her for long anymore, if she was lucky, maybe a few hours. So her mind clouded again, her body began trembling a bit more and more, Penelope felt her body getting weaker every hour. She only hoped that her team, her husband would find her right in time.

* * *

* * *

  
Bing!  
Bing!  
Bing!  
Bing!  
Bing!  
Bing!  
Bing!  
The whole team looked at each other in confusion as their mobile phone's received a text at the same time. That wasn't something which happened very often, so the astonishment was understandable.  
All of them looked at the message they'd received, and the first one who made a sound was Emily.  
"What the...?"  
"I can't believe...is it?" JJ was the next one, looking at Emily with her eyes full of surprise and disbelieve.  
"It's her!" Reid, staring at the words, Penelope had sent each and every one of the team.  
Hotch and Rossi remained silent, looking at each other, then in Derek's direction who hadn't said a word until now.  
He stared at the text which hade came in for him and tried his best to not break down and cry uncontrollably.  
"I'm so sorry Hot Stuff. Don't give up on me. I love you. BabyGirl"  
The message had caused him to stop breathing for a while. The forwarder was unknown, so he didn't even try to write a note back. He just stared speechless at these words, Penelope had sent him seconds ago.  
"Morgan?"  
He looked up and realized that everyone on his team was watching him with concern and sympathy.  
"Did she write to all of you?" Derek managed to ask hoarsely after a moment.  
"Yeah. I've got some information about Penelope's location. It isn't much, but it can help us." Emily told them before she read loud what Penelope had written to her.  
"It's about ten miles from Oklahoma Police Departement. It's cold, and I'm arrested under the earth in a cell. There is an elevator where my kidnapper comes and goes from every time."  
"JJ?"  
Hotch asked then, and the blonde woman nodded, reading what Penelope had written to her.  
"It's a woman, her name is Janine, her husband's called Paul. She has long brown hair and is very thin, her accent is slight foreign, maybe French."  
Hotch nodded before reading his own message.  
"They have a black van, the windows are colored, the car tags includes a 4 and a 2. The van is immaculate, almost sterile and smelled like it was new."  
"On our way to their home today I counted till 786. He drove three times right, one time left, stopped one time before driving again." Rossi read his text next and looked over to Reid, who was next.  
"They used heroin on me to get me working, some other drug to calm me down. I'm addicted to this drug by now, and I won't last long if this goes on. Also, the men here raped me." Reid looked at Derek for a second, wanting to say something but, Rose Bell interrupted them reading her own message she'd received from Penelope.  
"I was supposed to hide the account from my kidnapper after contacting her clients. I've sent some things to your email, knowing you'll find my hacking signature and hopefully, finding me."  
Derek stared at all of them. They waited for him to read his text, so, with a husky voice, he did.  
The whole room kept silent for a minute, but after that, Emily stood up, just to sit down beside Derek, Reid doing the same.  
"By now, there is a really valid chance to find her," Emily said with a calm voice, which caused Derek to sigh and nod a bit.  
Reid threw one arm around Derek's shoulder, trying to support his best friend. Derek couldn't say much, but he was glad to have these people with him. Together, they could find Penelope and help her.  
"We have to make a plan," Hotch started saying, getting the attention from all of them.  
"Bell, you know what to do, Penelope told you in her message to find her signature. Don't waste your time on anything else, send them to us. We're counting on you!"  
Bell nodded and left the room hurriedly.  
"Reid, your job is to prepare everything until we have Penelope back with us. Find the best hospital and talk to the doctors there. She'll need a lot of medical help, you know it best. Let them know what happened to her and get every medicine ready she'll need. There could be other victims, Penelope may not know now so let them be prepared."  
Spencer nodded, he squeezed Derek's shoulder one last time before he rose up to his feet. He walked out of the room too, typing something into his mobile phone.  
"The rest of us, we'll work on a profile. We need to find the location. Ten miles is a lot to look for finding a woman who's forced to hide her kidnapper and with that, herself."  
The rest of them nodded in agreement. Derek couldn't focus as much as he wanted on Hotch's speech. He stood up and paced through the room, rubbing his face from time to time. They'd raped her, addicted her to drugs. Derek couldn't stop thinking about how much Penelope must have suffered through the last two years. Tears burnt in his eyes as he tried to focus on the profile they needed to do. Instead, Derek grabbed his mobile phone and made a screenshot of Penelope's message. He then sent the picture to his Ma. After that, he typed a few words to her, before turning to his team.

 

* * *

* * *

  
When her phone rang one time, Fran pulled it out of her pocket and unlocked the screen. It was a picture of Derek. And what he'd sent her made Fran gasp.  
Penelope was still alive!  
"We're going to find her, Ma." The message came in next, and as she read it, tears stung in her eyes while she nodded to herself.  
"Mom?"  
Fran looked up to see her daughter's and grandchild watching her.  
"Everything alright?" They asked her and Fran nodded. They wouldn't talk about Penelope in front of Annie but there was no way, Fran would stay in Chicago and leave her only son out there, suffering.  
"We're going to Oklahoma City, girls!", she said, smiling, she left the unlocked mobile phone on the table, so her daughters were able to look at the pic, Derek had sent her, and both of them gasped too, as they saw it.  
It didn't take them long to pack their bags, Sarah and Desiree to inform their husbands. After that, the four of them drove to the rail station. They bought their tickets and took the next train to Oklahoma City. Five hours would be a long time for them, but Fran would do anything to help her son.


	5. Chapter Five

Paul enchained Penelope and brought her to the cellar of his and Janine's home, just like his wife had asked him to.  
Before he left her in the room where their housemaid shelved her cleaning issues he closed the door.  
"Could you do something?" He asked her saw his wife's victim nodding weakly. In the last hour, she'd become very frail, so Paul had brought the other half of the heroin with him. He injected it without asking for it, because the woman in front of him was trembling all over her body, got paler than before and couldn't focus on anything.  
He didn't know if it was okay what he was doing, but in the state, this woman was, it was the only thing Paul felt, he could do to help her.   
"That's good," he whispered more to himself than to her and chained her to the pipe of a heater. The woman in front of him felt very cold, and he wanted to do her something good. He'd even brought a pillow and a blanket downstairs earlier and some water, something to eat. Paul wasn't a bad guy, he just always found the wrong woman it seemed. He loved Janine more than anything. But as more as he learned about her job, the more he felt disgusted.  
"Have some water when you're feeling better," he told Penelope and left the room to let her be on her own.   
When he came back into the living room, where Penelope had worked earlier, his wife was typing furiously into the keyboard of her computer, trying to find something, she'd never see.  
"Everythings alright over there, sweetheart?" Paul asked her, squeezing her shoulders gently as he came to a stand right behind her.   
She nodded and stopped typing.  
"I can't find anything, but she's good, so we'll have to hide her here for the next couple of days. You're going to be with her all the time, understand me?"  
Paul only nodded, he wouldn't disagree with his wife, never. As much as he wanted to stop her, he couldn't do anything. But maybe, that woman in the cellar was able to help him to come out of this horror.

* * *

* * *

  
While working on the profile of that woman who had kidnapped his wife, Morgan paced restlessly around the room, trying to focus on his work, not on the fact that he wanted to get a car to search Penelope on his own.  
"The way she uses the woman is just as a working object. There are no signs of remorse the way they're put outside after they got killed," Prentiss began to talk and switched through the pictures of the dead woman.   
"They all show signs of rape, so we think this goes about prostitution. The victims are all drugged. They all have been very confident women before they got kidnapped, why would they choose these woman?" Rossi asked into the room while scratching his beard.  
"Maybe it's a special sort of woman she's selling," JJ guessed, and Derek tensed. Did they reach Penelope around, too? He didn't want to imagine what happened to his beloved wife, so, without asking for permission, he strode out of the room to get some fresh air.   
"Morgan!" Reid called after him, but he banged the door shut so no one could follow him. He needed some time alone to pull himself together.   
Leaving the Police Departement, he sat down on a bench for almost two seconds, before he stood up again. He wouldn't find any rest until Penelope was back in his arms.  
Ten miles!  
His wife was so close, and he wanted to see her, talk to her so badly. He closed his eyes for a second and rubbed with his hands over his clean-shaved head. So badly he wanted to scream all his pain out of his body or hit something. But he knew it wouldn't make him feel better, so he just walked around the Police Departement, trying to get his head clear.  
"Daddy!"   
A familiar voice caught his attention, and he turned around, seeing his little girl running towards him with the brightest smile. He picked her up in his arms as she threw herself happily against him and hugged her deeply. Seeing his mother and sisters coming towards them, he embraced them too, one after another and felt a bit more at ease than before.  
"What are you doing here?" He asked his mother then, not leaving his daughter out of his embrace right now. Annie was snuggling up against his chest meanwhile.  
"Our Baby Boy needs us, so we're here," Fran smiled at her only son who looked so exhausted and furious at the same time.  
"Thank you, Ma, Des, Sarah," was all he could answer before he needed to fight his tears, which caused his mother to hug him just one more time.  
"So are there any news?" She asked him then. He needed to stay on focus and was glad that his mother helped him with it.  
"No. We just know at somewhere around the Police Departement. About ten miles away from here," he told his mother with a low voice. He didn't want Annie to listen to it. If they wouldn't find Penelope in time, his little girl would just be sadder.  
"Come in with me, we'll find you a place where you can stay," Derek told them, and together they walked into the building of the Oklahoma Police Departement. Derek managed to get his family into the room where his team was still working on the profile of Penelope's kidnapper.   
"Look who's here too," Derek whispered to his daughter who looked around just to find her godparents JJ and Spence sitting in the room.   
"Auntie Jayje, uncle BoyWonder," Annie screamed happily as Derek let her down to the ground. Derek watched her sadly as she screamed just the nicknames, Penelope had always called them.  
Annie hugged her godmother JJ, after that her godfather Spencer and was just so happy to see them both that she didn't recognize how tense they all were. She was just a little girl, and Derek was glad that she didn't have to run through all the emotions he was running through at this moment.  
"What are you doing?" His daughter asked her godparents, and JJ tried to answer all the little girl's questions as best she could.   
Meanwhile, Hotch rose to his feet and walked towards Morgan, Fran, Sarah, and Desiree.  
"Since you all are here, you know what happened." Fran only nodded to Derek's team leader. "Yes, we know a few things," she answered then.   
"I have told her about Penelope." Derek sighed, but Hotch only nodded. "It's alright, and I understand that, but I would like to see you all protected by the police, as long as we're working on the case. We don't know which people kidnapped Penelope and maybe you're in danger."   
Derek looked at Hotch, speechless. He knew Hotch could be right so he wouldn't disagree.  
"He's right, Ma," he said then, and his mother nodded slowly.   
"It wasn't wrong to come here," Derek said immediately, seeing the look in his mother's eyes. "I'm glad you're here."  
"Alright, Baby Boy," his mother only answered.  
Derek sighed an pulled his mother into an embrace. For sure he didn't want them to experience something like this, but his mother and sisters were powerful, and they would be there for him and Annie. He couldn't be more grateful for calling them his family.  
"Derek, we'll have some things. I think we found her and we'll need you, you're able to do this?"  
Derek, in response, nodded.  
"Yeah, I'm ready, Ma, Des, Sarah, would you mind and wait outside for us, we're getting you an Officer who will help you to settle down here."  
"Sure little brother," Desiree said and pulled Derek into an embrace, the same did Sarah.  
"It's going to be alright," his sister said and called after Annie to follow them.  
"Come on, little rainbow, give your daddy a hug, we gotta let him work."  
"Yes, auntie!" Annie said, she said goodbye to her godparents and came over to hug her daddy as long as she was allowed to.  
"I love you, daddy!"  
"Love you too, Baby Doll! Stay close to your grannie and auntie. Don't leave them alone, alright?"  
"Okay, daddy, I will do that."  
"Promise me," he whispered, and his little girl nodded.   
"I do! Honest injun!" She said, grinning at his dad which caused him to snort.   
"Alright Baby Doll," he said, smiling a little and gave her over to his mom.  
As soon as his family had left the room, Derek sat down at his place and looked at his team and family.  
"Alright then," he said, ignoring the sick feeling in his gut.   
"You sure you can do this, Morgan?" Rossi asked him, and Derek nodded.  
"I am. I can't wait here with my family, I'm coming with you, no matter what you say, and I want to hear every detail."  
Rossi nodded as soon as Hotch began to speak.  
"We think this woman is Janine Gerard," he told them, Bell who'd joined them, pressed her remote control and a picture of a middle-aged woman, skinny with long brown hair, a fake smile on her lips appeared on the screen.  
"Their immigration was about six years ago. That's when the first woman was kidnapped. The woman was found two years later. Every few months another woman all over the country was abducted. Janine Gerard isn't working at all. Her husband, Paul Gerard, who'd assumed his wife's name at their marriage is a bigwig, he's working at Health Maintenance Organization, that means he has the full access all over the country. The woman all were insured there, Penelope too?"  
Derek only nodded. He couldn't talk right now, rage was burning in him, and he did everything to fight against it.  
"In a matter of fact, Janine Gerard's mother was a prostitute back in France, she used to leave her four-year-old daughter alone during her work," Bell told them and went on.  
"Her mother was a chubby woman with blonde hair, she loved unique dresses, full of colors. With time, Janine Gerad's mother became addicted to heroin and emaciated in a significant way. I was able to find a picture of her. She was found dead in her bedroom, Janine, almost five years old at this time, was hidden in the wardrobe. Some detectives over there had told later that Janine had been sitting in there with her eyes wide open, staring at her dead mom. The police assumed that she'd watched her mother's death the whole time."  
"That's her trauma," JJ came to a word, and the others nodded in agreement.  
"How was that mother of our unsub killed?" Derek asked then. He knew they had the right woman, but he needed to hear something more.  
"She was killed by one of her tricks, raped most painfully and hit until she was dead," Bell told them, and a picture of that benamed person appeared on the big screen.   
"That's her," Bell said, even if she didn't need to. The woman on there was placed just like all the other victims all around here.  
"Alright, then we'll have the right woman."  
Emily said the whole room was filled with tension.  
"Do we have an address?"  
"We have an old address, outside of Oklahoma, but that wouldn't work with the things, Penelope told us in her messages," Rossi said.  
"It takes a lot of time to leave the city when you're within ten miles from here, at least 30 minutes. It takes more time than counting to 786," Reid answered. "They stopped one time, I think it's a traffic light, so imagine the red light is set about one minute and a half, she'll have counted till 90 or 100 in that time. I think the house we're looking for is within reach from 5 to 10 miles," Reid closed his speech and rose to his feet. There was a map from Oklahoma on the wall, and he'd already circled the outlines. One circle ten miles around the Police Departement, another five and ten miles around the first loop.  
"That's where we looking at."  
Derek looked at the map and felt hopeless. 20 miles around here, so many houses. It would take them too much time to find Penelope.   
"I've found something else that might help you, Penelope's hacking signature."  
Bell told them, and Derek looked at her.  
"Tell us," he said, and everyone had her attention within seconds.  
"She worked from several computers, the most work is done from a place where pipes are made. The address is on your phone's now. The second machine she worked at is located at Nail Parkway, there's a business park in reach, so I think you'll find her there in the most possible way. Addresses are up on your phones...now."  
Morgan rose to his feet, but Hotch stopped him.   
"We have to make a plan Morgan, I know you want Penelope, but we can't go there headless, sit down."  
Morgan was about to burst into anger, even if he knew, Hotch was right, so he nodded, but didn't sit down again. He kept listening to the voices of his team while thinking about Penelope.

* * *

* * *

  
In her new jail, Penelope felt too weak to eat. She tried to take a sip from her glass but she lost the grip, and it fell to the ground where it shattered into pieces.  
She closed her too tired eyes and felt like shit. She felt her heart racing in her chest, and the trembling in her body didn't stop. Her whole body was begging for relief, but she wasn't able to do anything. She just laid there, her head placed on a pillow and tried to focus on the people she loved so much. But it didn't work as she wanted it, she began to sweat and felt like shit, she wasn't able to concentrate on anything anymore. So she just kept her eyes squeezed shut and tried to fight against her body which felt weaker and weaker with every passing minute.

 


	6. Chapter 6

The whole team was placed around the house of Janine and Paul Gerard. Officers from the Police Departement joined them, weapons reached out to every door, every window.  
Rossi would be the one, talking to Janine and her husband, for he had the most experience with unsubs.  
"Let's go through it one more time," he said to Derek, who would wait behind him, trying to get into the house together with Emily and Hotch as soon as it was possible.  
"I'll talk to her to give us Penelope. If it works out the way we want it, everything's fine. You three go inside, get Penelope and bring her out of here. If it doesn't work...", he began, but Derek interrupted him.  
"If she doesn't let us in, I'll find my way," he snarled through gritted teeth.  
"Morgan...," Hotch warned him and shot him a look.  
"You'll stand behind until you're allowed to go inside, just like we told you. Do you understand that?"  
Derek nodded. He knew he just was allowed, being with them because his team knew him. He just needed to prove that he would be able to work with the plan.  
He looked over to the house where his wife was for sure. Derek felt her presence there.  
"I'm coming for you, Baby Girl," he thought to himself, while Rossi started to walk to the front door.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope thought she'd heard Derek's voice calling her Baby Girl and opened her eyes. She was surrounded by black and the realization, that Derek wasn't here as she hoped, brought tears to her eyes.  
She felt so weak and only wanted him to save her, to bring her out of this hell. Penelope almost felt his presence, she didn't know why maybe it was because of the drugs or her physical condition. She knew she wouldn't make it through the next few days, her whole body was hurting, trembling and sweating. Her heart was racing in her chest like it tried to jump out of her body. Never in her entire life, she'd felt sick like this before.  
Trying to focus on Derek's face, she realized it didn't work as well as she was hoping and for the second time in a few days, she allowed herself to grief. Not that she could do anything against. She almost felt like her biggest wish wouldn't come true anymore: Seeing her beloved husband and child.  
Drifting into unconsciousness again she thought she'd overhear gunfire and shouts. But before Penelope could hear anything more, everything went black.

* * *

* * *

  
JJ watched Janine Gerard walking out of her front door bristling with self-assurance and a fake smile crossing her lips.  
"Agent Rossi, what a pleasure to meet you!" The woman greeted and looked around to all the other FBI Agents.  
"You brought Agent Morgan with you, that's going to be fun," she grinned, and JJ almost felt Derek tensing, ready to jump on that woman who'd stolen and hurt his wife two years ago.  
She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing.  
"Don't. Let Rossi talk," she whispered to him and put her hand away again. She didn't know what she would do in this situation. If this would be Will inside this house...she sighed and looked at Rossi, talking to the unsub in front of her. All she could do was trying to give Derek some comfort now.

* * *

* * *

  
Janine Gerard had made her decision as she saw all the Agents and Police Officers standing in front of her house. She knew she was done, but she wouldn't leave this house without fighting. So she'd opened the door, a fake smile was covering her lips as she greeted the FBI Agents, her men kept watching for two years now. Agent Morgan would suffer. He wouldn't get to see his wife alive anymore. Janine had had enough women to understand that Penelope wouldn't make it over the night if she wouldn't get a doctor in the next couple of hours. Penelope didn't matter to her just one bit, she did her work, but for sure, she'd given some information to her husband and team earlier.  
If she'd had the time, she would have made her men kill her stupid husband too, who'd helped Penelope without knowing it. Paul hadn't been competent enough for anything in the past years.  
So, she smiled at agent Rossi, who tried to talk to her about giving Penelope to them so she would get help.  
"Oh no Agent Rossi, you know, she isn't in the physical condition, she need's some rest," she cooed, grinning at Derek Morgan's reaction to her words. "She'd had some rough days, you know what I mean," she told him, winking with her eyes.  
She wondered when the Agent would mess up the FBI plan and kick her off her heels. Janine had decided that she wouldn't go to jail, so she was hoping for him or anyone to kill her instead.  
"You know, Agent Morgan, your wife, has been a hell of a whore the past two years. Couldn't get enough of my men," she grinned, but it instantly faded because of Morgan's reaction to her words.  
"Yeah, tell that yourself," he merely said, aiming his gun at her. It seemed that she found a pair that truly loved each other, knew each other. She couldn't tell that to her own marriage.  
"Mrs. Gerard your chance is over in a few. We know you have Penelope in kidnap, so we're entering the house in two minutes. If you let us pass, we won't hurt you."  
Rossi interrupted Janine before she could say something more.  
"Let us in, it'll be the last time that I tell you that!"  
"Oh I'm sorry Agent Rossi, I can't and I won't," she said, smiling at the Agent. Right in time when a black van burst out of the garage and tried to get past all the police cars, Officers and Agents.

* * *

* * *

  
The moment the RV strode out of the garage, everything felt wrong. Derek began to shoot at the wheels and hit one in the front. The van crashed into an Officer's car and came to a halt. He knew that had been on purpose, one look at Janine Gerard's direction told him, she'd shut the door locked, laughing hard. That indeed had been a distraction, the Police Officers would take care of. They wouldn't need FBI help with that man.  
Derek groaned in frustration and together with Emily ran around the house. To both their surprise the back door wasn't locked. They threw each other a look, and Emily called JJ and Reid over. Guns aimed at the door, they slowly made their way inside the house through the garden in the back.  
Derek went to go inside first, but Emily stopped him.  
"I'll go, Penelope will need you, you stay behind and safe!"  
He groaned again but knew she was right. Derek couldn't think now, he so badly wanted to be inside this house and find Penelope. Janine had grinned so hard, Derek believed that his wife wasn't in a good state and her kidnapper tried to gain time. He knew she was still alive, but how long?  
So, he nodded, and Emily went in first, followed by Reid.  
"Safe," both voices came a few seconds later, so JJ and Derek followed them.  
Reid went to the next door and opened it slowly, the rest of them aimed their weapons at the opening door. They were greeted with gunfire and shot back, hiding behind cupboards as best as possible. Only two men were shooting at them, and as both of them were hit by bullets from Derek and Emily, the team went on into the living room.

* * *

* * *

  
Feeling worse than a few minutes before, Penelope thought she'd heard gunfire.  
"Derek...," she whispered in a hoarse voice. Her body felt more on fire than before, trembling and sweating she know her body couldn't handle the drug addiction anymore. She really needed help soon, or her last wish wouldn't come true anymore. More gunfire came to her ears, she meant to hear voices and steps running in her direction. She tried to open her eyes, but her body decided to work quite against her wanting right now. She tried to focus on her breathing as best as she could.  
"Stay alive," she thought to herself, feeling her heart racing in her chest. "Help's about to come." Hearing a door bang against the wall, and someone calling out her name, Penelope lost consciousness again.

* * *

* * *

  
Hotch and Rossi ran to the van which had crashed into a police car, and Hotch opened the driver's door. Rossi aimed his gun at them an who sat on the seat, which he realized was Paul Gerard. The man was crying.  
"I'm so sorry," the man whispered and lifted up his hand so they could see he had no weapon.  
"My wife made me do that."  
Paul Gerard appeared to be very submissive, he didn't make eye-contact to the Agents.  
"Mr. Gerard, get out of the car, now!" Hotch said with a cold voice, and the man did what he'd been told.  
"Stand with your back to the car, now!"  
Rossi pulled out his handcuffs and locked them on Paul Gerad's back. He then called after two Police Officer's and gave Paul Gerad over to them.  
"Bring him to the Police Station, arrest him for kidnapping, drug abuse for the beginning. I'm sure there will be more thing added to the list soon.  
Hotch and Rossi watched Janine Gerad's husband as long as he sat in the back seat of the car and drove away.  
They then looked at each other and walked towards the house, the garage was open now, so they had a free entrance. Voices could be heard from behind the door, so they aimed their weapons and moved inside.

* * *

* * *

  
They were greeted with Janine Gerard, sitting on the couch and enjoying a glass of wine.  
"There you are," she said, grinning at them.  
"I'm sure you want your wife back, Agent Morgan, I tell you where she is if you promise me to shoot me."  
It was her best chance. She didn't want to be locked in prison for the rest of her life for she didn't feel guilty for anything she'd done in her past.  
"I promise you a long life in jail, Mam," Derek answered her and Reid jumped in, waving at JJ to leave the room together with Emily. Derek knew he couldn't go now. JJ and Emily had the best chances to leave without Janine recognizing it.  
When JJ and Emily had left the room, Derek and Reid concentrated on the woman in front of them.  
"I promise you, Agent Derek, you for sure want to know where I've hidden your wife, or it might be too late."  
Grinning, Janine leaned into the couch, enjoying her show. Agent Morgan was about to jump at Janine right in time when another door opened where Rossi and Hotch came through, aiming their weapons at Janine Gerard's head.

* * *

* * *

  
JJ and Emily strode through every room. There were no more men inside. Penelope was nowhere to be found until now.  
"Where would you hide her, attic or cellar?" JJ asked, looking at Emily with concern.  
"Cellar. It's dark, under earth just like Penelope had written in her messages," Emily pointed to the door which was the entrance to the cellar, and both of them walked downstairs, slowly and silently. Their weapons aimed at the two doors which were to be seen, Emily opened the first door which appeared to be empty, except for a washing machine and a dryer.  
"Safe," Emily whispered, and JJ went to open the next door. What she saw there let her eyes grew wide in shock.  
"Penelope!"  
Letting her gun fall to the ground she dropped to her knees beside her unconscious friend who was cuffed to a pipe. She was barely breathing, and JJ took her pulse. It was flattering, she could hardly count.  
"Emily, we need a doctor here, right now!" She called over to Emily which stood in the doorframe in shock. The woman then nodded, and before she could leave the room to get some help, JJ told her to bring Morgan to her. JJ knew Penelope would need him now. Out of everything she imagined what could have happened to her best friend, she couldn't handle the sight of Penelope very well, it broke her heart.  
"Hey, Garcie, can you hear me?" JJ kneeled at her best friends side, stroking some hair out of her pale face. Tears stung in her eyes as she saw how malnourished her friend was. Penelope needed help and that very fast. JJ was worrying so much about her, as Penelope finally tried to open her eyes.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope tried to open her eyes as she heard a familiar voice calling her "Garcie." She hadn't heard that in a very long while.  
"Jayjie?" It wasn't more than a whisper and as she tried to open her eyes a blurry vision of JJ appeared in front of her.  
"Am I dreaming?"  
"Hey don't talk too much, Garcie. We're getting you help, we're all here, you're safe now," JJ told her in a calm voice, and Penelope couldn't believe it. Her team really found her! Tears stung in her eyes as she thought of seeing Derek for one last time, and a weak smile crossed her lips for a second. She felt too feeble to hold open her eyes, so she closed them again, searching for JJ's hand. JJ pulled her hand into her own and squeezed her's for a moment, before stroking through Penelope's hair. It felt so good, feeling her best friend with her. Was giving her some comfort.  
"It's going to be okay, Garcie," JJ whispered again and Penelope, too feeble to nod remained silent, concentrating on her breathing.

* * *

* * *

  
Morgan tried not to focus too hard on his wife's kidnapper. He couldn't the for he was waiting for JJ or Emily with every passing second. Time went by too slowly in his eyes, and Janine got more amused with every moment passing without finding Penelope.  
"We need an emergency doctor!"  
Emily rushed into the room, pointing at Derek.  
"You, cellar, now. It's the second room, we found Penelope, JJ's with her!" Emily left the living room to call an ambulance for Penelope, giving instructions to them in short sentences.  
Derek didn't waste a second he ran out of the living room, Janine's laughter in his ears.


	7. Chapter 7

Derek ran down the stairs, towards the second room. The door was already open, so he passed it without slowing down one bit.  
"Penelope!" He called out, seeing a body lying on the floor, the upper body was covered by JJ's form, who turned around as soon as she heard Derek's voice.  
"Slow down, Morgan," she told him with a tearful voice and squeezed Penelope's hand one last time, whispering something to her, before letting her go and rising up to her feet again.  
"I'll wait for the ambulance," she told him, and Derek nodded, kneeling down on the floor beside his wife. Her eyes were shut, so the first thing he did, was uncuffing her chain and placing her hand on her trembling body. He slowly kissed her cold, sweaty forehead, not really believing that his wife was indeed right in front of him after those too long two years.  
"Penelope?" He tried again, this time with a hoarse voice. It broke his heart to see Penelope like this. She was trembling all over her body, so pale and way too thin as far as he could see.  
Slowly, Penelope tried to open her eyes to look at her husband.  
"D.derek? Is that you Handsome?" He could hardly hear her voice, but grabbed her hand and squeezed it.  
"It's me Baby Girl, we're going to get you some help, alright?"  
She barely nodded, and he could see she tried a smile but Penelope remained too weak to do anything of these things without sweating more and getting paler if that was even possible.  
"Hey lay still, I gotcha, alright?" He smiled weakly at his wife as she tried to focus her view to see him.  
"We're getting you to a hospital, they'll help you," he just kept talking for he felt, Penelope remained a bit calmer while listening to his voice.  
"Soon, you'll feel better, I promise Baby Girl but fight until the doctors are here alright?"  
Tears stung in his eyes as Penelope squeezed his hand weakly.  
"I'm so sorry Hot Stuff," she whispered with suddenly tearful eyes. "I hurt you so much...," she began, but Derek interrupted her with his lips pressed softly against hers.  
"Don't," he whispered in her ear, he couldn't hold back his tears as well as he heard her words.  
"There's nothing to be sorry for Goddess. I have you back, it's all that counts right now. Annie's getting her mamma back, I couldn't be more relieved right now."   
He let go of her hand and slowly brought her fragile body in his arms as he leaned against the heater. He just wanted to hold her as long as the doctors would come. Derek had her back, and he hoped she would make it. He pulled the blanket around her shoulders and held her in place, placing kisses on her hair here and then.  
"I love you so much Baby Girl," he whispered. "Stay with me, help is about to come."  
He felt her already weak body getting limp in his arms and tried to listen to her breathing which he could no longer hear.  
"No," he whispered, panic rising in his gut as he tried to catch a pulse, which he couldn't feel anymore.

* * *

* * *

  
When Penelope heard Derek's voice, she'd felt so happy and at ease, she never thought would feel again.  
Even if her view was very blurry, she could see his handsome face full of worry about her. She wanted to tell him so much but felt her body getting weaker with every minute. Her heart stopped racing and beat more and more irregular. Derek told her she didn't need to feel sorry for him and she tried to accept it for now. Penelope didn't know if she had enough time, before the doctor and the ambulance would arrive. So, instead, she decided to just enjoy the company of her husband who pulled her into his strong arms. Leaning her head against his chest and inhaling his so familiar and beloved scent, Penelope felt at ease for a moment. Feeling warm and protected she closed her eyes once more.  
Then she began to feel strange like her body wouldn't allow her to breathe anymore. Her heartbeat became slower and slower, and she tried to tell Derek to help her, but no word would leave her mouth.  
She could hear Derek talking to her, and as her heart stopped beating, she just saw a white light approaching her behind closed eyes.

* * *

* * *

  
JJ brought the doctors to the cellar room where Penelope was laying at. As they entered the room, she realized in shock that Derek was giving Penelope a heart massage, pleading her to come back to him. The doctors passed her shocked statue and pulled Derek aside, calling their assistant for a defibrillator.  
"What happened?" the emergency doctor asked them. He knew what happened to Penelope Morgan in the past, for Agent Reid had given them the full pieces of information earlier the day. But he needed to know what had happened right now, why she stopped breathing.  
Derek, standing there, staring at his wife sucked in a breath as the second doctor started to open Penelope's shirt and JJ did the same. Every bone was to be seen, Penelope looked too fragile.  
"She just stopped breathing before you came in," Derek managed to tell them rubbing his neck and trying to hide his tears. JJ went over to him, to give him much-needed comfort and to pull him out of the working zone the doctors really needed.  
Looking for her best friend fighting to come back to life was the hardest thing she'd ever seen. The doctors really struggled with her, and it felt like a lifetime to her. She wiped away some tears as she saw beside her Derek slumping to the ground.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek watched in horror as the doctors tried to bring Penelope back to life. He didn't want this to happen, he didn't want Penelope to suffer so much more than she already did. His breathing increased as he was watching her coming back to life before her heartbeat stopped again. The doctors did as best as they could, but his vision became blurry with every injection they gave her with every time they used the defibrillator.  
A ringing sound appeared in his ears as he leaned against the wall behind him. The stressor was too much for him. Might losing Penelope again after finding her was too much to think about.  
He wanted to scream in frustration and cry in horror. Wanted to stay on his wife's side and not watch her from behind.  
Wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how sorry he was for being too late.  
The ringing in his ears became louder and louder, and he realized cold sweat covering his body. All he could hear was his own heartbeat banging in his ears.  
He didn't realize when exactly he passed out or when he slumped to the ground.

* * *

* * *

Emily, Hotch, and Rossi didn't waste time when Morgan ran out of the living room to meet his wife in the cellar after two years of being apart. "Janine Gerard you are arrested for kidnapping and murder," Hotch began to say when Janine laughed out loud.  
"Stop talking, how well I know my rights! Let's get it over with!"  
Hotch shrugged and cuffed her hands, brought her to her feet and to another Officer's car outside. As soon as the woman was placed on the back-seat and the door closed, two Officer's drove away with her.  
Rossi sighed and scratched his beard when the ambulance came with two emergency doctors following right behind. They jumped out of the ambulance looking for the FBI Agents when JJ came to the front door to call them.  
"Here, you're needed here!"  
The doctors followed her inside, and Rossi and Hotch shared a look.  
"It's not looking very peaky for her, isn't it?" Hotch asked, looking at Emily who shook her head.  
"God, when you see her...," she said with a tearful voice, not coming over how worse Penelope had appeared. Emily was shocked to the bones, seeing her once so full of life and now fighting against death with every breath she took.  
"It's going to be okay," Hotch tried to give Emily some comfort, and she hardly nodded. She always appeared to be very strong but seeing her friends suffer wasn't cushy to her as well.  
An assistant came running out of the house to the ambulance, grabbing a defibrillator and ran back towards the house within seconds.  
Emily grabbed Hotch's arm in shock as she saw the scene in front of her. Hotch, in shock too, pulled Emily into an embrace, knowing that she needed the comfort right now.  
No one said a word, they just kept watching the house.  
Minutes felt like hours as they stood together, waiting for anything good or bad news  
Soon, Reid and JJ left the house. JJ was crying hard, supported by Spencer and the rest of the team froze. They all thought the same: Penelope was dead.

* * *

* * *

  
Reid decided to follow Derek a few minutes later. Maybe he could help him with his knowledge or just by being there. Spencer really wasn't good at emotions, but Derek was his best friend, and Spencer wanted to help Derek through the hard time his friend was going through right now. He entered the room and almost fell over Morgan who'd just collapsed to the ground. He heard JJ gasp in shock and knelt down beside his friend instantly. Spencer checked his pulse realizing that Derek had lost consciousness. Morgan's heart was racing, but his pulse was also steady, so he figured that they didn't need to worry for the moment. Eventually, it was all too much for his best friend, so his body had just decided to protect itself and passed out. Reid stabilized Morgan and then looked over to Penelope, who was breathing on her own again. The doctors had made it and brought her back to life. Reid was relieved that they had made in time. He rose to his feet and walked over to a very pale JJ, who was staring at Penelope and Derek, the woman was definitely in shock.  
"Hey JJ, let's get us out of here, the doctors will take care of them," he said in a low voice and smiled at her. For now, they couldn't do much more. It was time for them to call Fran Morgan, for Reid knew in which hospital Penelope and Derek would be brought.  
"Let's get Derek's family together, he'll need them," he said, rubbing her back to get some attention from her.  
JJ suddenly looked at him, tears stung in her eyes before she began to sob uncontrollably. She hardly nodded, and together they left the room and went upstairs to call Fran Morgan and the rest of Derek and Penelope's family.

* * *

* * *

  
JJ couldn't stop her tears from falling. Penelope had made it for the first time, she was in shock and relieved at the same time. Happy for Reid giving her some comfort they walked out of the house where the rest of the team was waiting for them.  
Emily, looking at JJ opened her mouth in shock.  
"Is she...?" Rossi asked but Reid, like the mastermind he was, began to talk.  
"She's alive. Morgan passed out, he's in shock. They'll be brought to the hospital in a few," he explained to his team while he and JJ walked towards them.  
JJ wasn't able to speak. Seeing her best friend almost die and Derek passing out was way too much for her. They were her family also, and she couldn't bear, seeing them suffer so much and she wanted it all to be over for the Morgans. But their journey wouldn't be over. If Penelope would really make it - she couldn't believe it to be true, wanted yes, but couldn't, she would have a long way to recover again. Giving each other some comfort the team hugged each other and decided to drive to the Oklahoma Surgical Hospital. Two of their family members needed support, and the rest of them was more than willing to give it to them.

* * *

* * *

  
"Fran Morgan?"  
An unknown number had called her in the late evening, she refused to answer the call but decided to do it against her wantings.  
"Mrs. Morgan this is Spencer Reid from BAU Quantico. I just wanted to let you know that we found your daughter-in-law. Penelope and Derek are brought to the Oklahoma Surgical Hospital South, our technical assistant send you the location."  
"Spencer Reid, what happened?"  
Fran interrupted Spencer who was very confused for a second.  
"Derek passed out, his body was dehydrated, and shock made him pass out. Penelope almost didn't make it, but the resuscitation worked, and now she's breathing on her own, but still in intensive care. She's dehydrated too and will go through a heavy drug addiction treatment, but the doctors are positive that she'll make it through."  
Fran, putting on her shoes and grabbing her jacket, nodded and tried to hide a sob. Herr poor babies!  
"I'll be there in a few minutes, thank you, Spencer," she said and brought the call to an end. Saying goodbye to her daughters, after giving them the few pieces of information she took a taxi to come to her Baby Boy and daughter-in-law.  
Reaching the hospital, she was greeted by her son's team.  
She hugged them all, thankfully for having them in Derek's life.  
"Where are they?" She asked then, not willing to leave her daughter-in-law or son alone for one more moment.  
"Follow me," Reid said and led her to the room where Derek was laying in.  
"He woke up earlier but refused to talk to us," Reid explained to her and Fran nodded.  
"Penelope is in intensive care, only family members are allowed, she isn't awake by now, I'll let you know as soon as we get some new information."  
"Thank you, Spencer," Fran said, squeezing the younger man's hand thankfully before she went into the room her son was lying in.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Derek was laying in his hospital bed, staring out of the window with red-rimmed eyes. He couldn't believe it. Penelope was dead. He'd found her, and she'd died in his arms. Even thinking about this fact brought tears back to his eyes.  
He wasn't some guy who cried much. But today nothing could stop him from crying. He refused to talk to anyone, just wanted to be left alone, wanted to grief for his loss.  
But someone interrupted his mourning and entered the room. Quickly he covered his eyes, he couldn't show weakness to anyone now, Derek would break down if he would.  
"Baby Boy?" He could hear his mom naming him by his nickname and sitting down beside his bed. She grabbed his hand, and he remained silent as she pulled his arm from his eyes, so she was able to face him.  
"What's wrong, baby?" She asked him softly, and he couldn't believe it.  
"What is wrong? You're sure you're asking me that?" He asked her in disbelieve.  
"My wife died in my arms after I've been looking for her for two years! So tell me what's wrong...," he didn't want to snap at her, but he didn't know Penelope had made it, he passed out before they brought her back to life.  
"Derek..."  
"No, Mom! No Derek, no nothing! Penelope is dead after two minutes reunion. I found her and lost her again, and I tell you what's wrong. I don't know what to do, Ma. I'm just...just...," he couldn't talk anymore before he broke out into uncontrollable sobs. He was broken all over, and no one would be able to do anything to make it up.  
"Derek Morgan, stop this, Penelope is alive."  
Fran told him squeezing his hand with hers.  
"She's alive, and as far as Spencer could say, she's gonna make it Baby Boy."  
Derek, whose tears weren't able to stop right now, locked eyes with his mom.  
"What did you say?" He asked her, trying to proceed what his mom had just told him.  
"She made it Baby. She's in intensive care right now. Even if she hadn't woken up yet, Spencer said she's going to make it."  
"Mama..." Derek couldn't say much more. Within one second his life made more sense again.  
"That's true...?" Suddenly his mouth went dry, and he sat up on the bed, furiously searching for his trousers.  
"It's true. It's going to be okay," Fran said, looking at his son.  
"Hey calm down okay?"  
Derek looked at her, with fresh tears in his eyes. Never had he done that, he'd always struggled with feelings on his own. And before Fran could say anything, he pulled his mom into his arms, to cry all the suffering from the past years out of him.

* * *

* * *

  
Fran held her son close to her as he broke down into her arms. She'd never seen him like that and was shocked and relieved at the same time. Derek needed to cry all the shit out of him before facing his wife. Once more he had to stay strong, and she was more than willing to give him a bit comfort right now so he could regain his strength. She stroke his back and let him cry until she felt the crying becoming more and more silent. As long as he wanted she held him. When they broke their connection, Derek whispered an embarrassed "Thank you," refusing to look his mother in the eyes which made her snort. She grabbed him softly by his chin what she'd done many times before and kind of forced him to look her in the eyes.  
"You are more than welcome. Whenever you need it, I'll be here. No need to be ashamed, my boy for breaking down. It was much needed."  
Derek tried a smile and nodded. Kissing her son's forehead, she smiled at him.  
"Ready to visit your wife?"  
Her son nodded. "Yeah Mama, I'm ready."  
She helped him, finding his clothes and waited until he'd put them on. They walked together out of the door to look for the intensive care.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek was greeted by his team as he walked out of his room. They smiled at him and hugged him. Now that he was ready and knew that Penelope was alive, he was glad to see his second family around here.  
"You're going to see her now? Tell us how she is," a still pale JJ told him, and Derek nodded.  
"As soon as I know something," he promised them and told them to go home. But stubborn as every member of the BAU was, they refused and took their places in the waiting room.  
Derek shrugged, to be honest, he was grateful for knowing them around. Together with his mom, he walked to the intensive care station. His mom wasn't allowed, so he gave her a quick hug before he was brought to his wife's room.  
"A doctor will check on her soon, he'll tell you how she is," a friendly nurse told him, and Derek nodded.  
He stood in the doorframe, staring at Penelope for what felt like a lifetime. She looked so fragile in this bed, so many machines were running all around her, checking on her physical condition. Her heartbeat was steady, and for now, he was more than relieved to hear it.  
He pulled a chair towards her bed and sat down beside Penelope, pulling her hand into his.  
"I'm right here Baby Girl, you take your nap until you're ready," he whispered, stroking her cheekbone with his other hand. Besides how malnourished she was, she looked peaceful right now. She was breathing on their own and appeared to be relaxed. Derek wanted nothing more for his wife. Squeezing her hand with his big palms, he began to talk to her about anything he wanted to tell her.

* * *

* * *

  
Dr. Harrel hadn't seen someone like Mrs. Penelope Morgan in a long time. It was a wonder to him that she still was alive. Penelope was severely malnourished, raped in ways he wished he never knew about and her kidnapper had made her addicted to drugs. If she would recover Mrs. Morgan would have a hard ride finding back to her old life.  
He went into her room, knowing that her husband would be here. He watched him for a moment, realizing so much love and adoration in Mr. Morgans body language. It seemed that Mrs. Morgan would have outstanding options with so much admiration all around her. Her whole team was waiting outside too. At least she wouldn't be alone.  
Clearing his throat, he walked into the patient's room to shake hands with Mr. Morgan who greeted him.  
"Agent Morgan we'll have to talk about a few things as long as your wife is unconscious. Would you mind that?"  
Derek Morgan nodded, he seemed curious and pointed to the second chair while still holding his wife's hand with his other.  
Dr. Harrel sat down and gave him a sympathetic look. It wouldn't be pleasant for his patient's husband, but inside he knew they would make it through that what was lying ahead.  
"Mr. Morgan your wife made it through the night, that give's her excellent chances to recover health. You know what happened to her, am I right?"  
"Yeah, I know she'd been drugged and raped beside they didn't give her enough food," Morgan told him, nodding a bit while squeezing his wife's hand.  
"Alright, I don't wanna go into the details too much. Your wife will need a few days or weeks at the hospital, depends on when she'll wake up," Harrel explained and waited for Derek to nod then went on.  
"After the drug addiction treatment, she has to have mental health services, she will need therapy, maybe for the rest of her life. We don't know it yet, but I want you to think about everything. I think you want her back with you?"  
"Sure! As soon as she's able to, I'm going to bring her home," Morgan told the doctor who nodded in understanding.  
"That's great to hear! The first weeks or months may be rough for all of you."  
"I know doc, but I'm going to take everything as long as I have my wife back."  
"She may be not the same."  
"Maybe, but she'll always be my Baby Girl. I take care of her as long as she lets me. There's nothing that will change the fact that I have her back."  
Harrel smiled a bit. This man loved his wife more than anything, that was for sure.  
He rose to his feet and patted Morgans shoulder.  
"Call on us if she wakes up," he said, leaving the room to get them some private time.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope heard a beeping sound coming from all around her. With closed eyes she laid there, listening.  
Someone was talking to her in a hushed voice. She couldn't make out what the person was saying, but she realized Derek's voice. Someone squeezed her hand, who must've been him and slowly, she tried to move her fingers around his big palm.  
"Penelope?"  
He moved beside her, and she slowly opened her eyes. God, she never knew eyelids could be that heavy.  
"Baby Girl, you're awake!"  
She nodded weakly or tried to, her whole body felt limp. But she felt happiness surrounding her. Did she really make it?  
"Hot Stuff," she murmured with a hoarse voice, feeling him so close beside her. She tried to look at him, but her view was blurry.  
"My god, you really awake," Derek's voice sounded so happy, but she could almost hear the tears who wanted to come out.  
Carefully he pulled her into an embrace so she could inhale his so beloved scent. She couldn't hug him back for she was too weak but being in his arms again was all she needed right now. Her ribs hurt but that didn't matter to her.  
Tears formed in her own eyes as she heard sobs escaping Derek's throat. He hardly cried but listening to him now while holding her brought all the suffering back to her as well, and so she began to weep against his chest too.  
She felt anger for the loss of two years without Derek and Annie. Relief to got a second chance.  
Fear of what was lying ahead.  
But the most significant feeling was being happy to be back with her husband.  
"God, I have you back with me my love, my god-given-solace," Derek whispered into her hear before he placed her back softly on the bed.  
Penelope smiled weakly at her husband, believing every word he told her.  
"Annie?" She managed to ask after a while. So badly she wanted to know how her Baby Doll was doing. Was she okay? Where was she? Was she healthy? So many questions fogged her brain.  
"And you...," she whispered, searching for his hand.  
"We're good. Now that you're back much better." Derek talked slowly to her, she was grateful for that so she could concentrate better on his words.  
"Annie's here with Ma, she's ready to see you as soon as you are Baby Girl. You've been sleeping a few days, so she's full into seeing her Mama awake," he said, and she could barely hold back another sob.  
"Oh wait, I have your glasses here," she heard him say and a second later the full view of Derek Morgan with red-rimmed eyes, but apparently the happiest man alive appeared in front of her.  
She so badly wanted to touch his handsome face but remained too weak.  
Derek, realizing her movements brought her hand, he was holding to his mouth, kissing her knuckles softly.  
"Wanna see your daughter?"  
"I don't know...," she whispered slowly and Derek, like he was, understood what she meant.  
"She's seen you Baby Girl, she won't be afraid of you. We talked a lot the last days. Our Baby Doll is a very smart little girl. It's alright," he told her with a soft smile.   
"She recognized you when she first saw you. Whatever you think, it's you, and your daughter loves her momma," slowly, he stroked her hair behind her ears. Penelope loved him for that, and it brought tears to her eyes.  
"So wanna reunite with your little girl?" He asked her again, and Penelope nodded slowly.  
"Yes," she managed to say, she couldn't wait to have her family back with her.

* * *

* * *

  
Annie was so so nervous. She was about to see her mom, finally! She wanted her so badly to wake up in the last days and asked her daddy, grannie, and aunties a hundred times when the time would be for her mom to wake up. Daddy explained to her every time that he didn't know, that hey had to be patient with her momma. And she really tried to!  
She'd painted lots of get-well-soon pictures for her and prayed for her with her grannie and aunties every evening.  
Now, she was sitting outside of her momma's room, swinging with her little legs, staring at the door, hoping that her daddy would come out to take her with him inside.  
And, to her surprise, the door opened, and her daddy came out of the patient's room!  
Annie jumped from her chair, running towards her daddy.  
"Ready, Baby Doll?" He asked her as he lifted her up in his arms. Annie looked at his face and touched his wet cheek while she nodded.  
"Daddy, did you cry because you are happy?" She asked her dad in confusion, and her dad nodded with a bright smile on his face. It made her grin.  
"Your mom is awake, and we're going to get to see her Baby Doll, she can't wait to see you," he told her and Annie giggled in happiness. She couldn't wait for seeing her momma either, but her daddy knew that already.  
"Remember what I told you?" He asked her, and she nodded.  
"Take it slow, don't jump at your momma. And don't hug her too tight, right? Mom is very weak, is she?"  
Her daddy nodded, and she sighed.  
"She will be okay Baby, but be careful whit her alright?"  
"Can I show her my picture's later?" She asked with high hopes, and her daddy nodded again.  
"Sure, but for now, we three are going to huddle up together, alright?"  
"Yes," Annie grinned happily as her father carried her into her mother room.


	9. Chapter 9

Fran sat outside the room as Derek came to get his daughter back. His smile was so bright, she knew Penelope was awake by now. He nodded in her direction when he lifted Annie in his arms and talked to her. Fran wiped away her happy tears and rose to her feet. She wanted to tell the BAU team that Penelope was awake, so she walked over to the place where the team was waiting at.

* * *

* * *

  
JJ stood with her back to the door. The last past days had been hard on her. They weren't allowed to see Penelope, only family members, and even Derek couldn't talk the doctor out of it. They didn't know how her mental status was. If she would wake up, it could be too much for her. JJ understood that, surely. But she loved her best friend and desperately wanted to see if she was okay.  
"Hey guys," Fran's voice appeared, and JJ turned around like the others did.  
"She's awake."  
JJ stared at Morgan mom in disbelieve, Penelope had woken up?  
"That is great news!" Rossi said, rising up to his feet to give Morgans mom a big and relieved hug.  
"I don't know more right now, Derek and Annie are with her. I'm sure you'll get some updates."  
JJ nodded and sat down. Slowly she began to believe that it was true, that Penelope really was awake. She let out a sigh of relief, and for the first time in days, she relaxed a bit.  
"Hey, everything's alright?" Emily sat down beside her and JJ looked at her, nodding.  
"She's awake, so yes," JJ said, smiling for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. The two woman hugged each other, happy to know that their friend was awake.  
The whole team couldn't wait to see Penelope, to have her back in their lives.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek had called the doctor like he'd been told and after Penelope had been checked through, he'd gone outside to bring Annie to her mother.  
He was nervous how Annie indeed would react to seeing her mom awake, but Penelope and Annie needed it as much as he'd needed it before.  
So he opened the door, his daughter in his arms and went inside the room.  
"Here we are," he said slowly, realizing Penelope's closed eyes which fluttered open as soon as she heard his voice. She was very weak but tried to move her head to look at them which caused Derek to move closer to her. He looked over at Annie who hadn't said anything until now. She was watching her mom for a moment before she looked over at him.  
"Can I now hug her?" She asked him seriously. Tears were shimmering in her eyes, but she was such a brave girl and wouldn't allow them to come out until someone told her it was okay.  
"What do you say, Mama?" Derek asked then, looking at Penelope. She couldn't handle her emotions that good. He saw the tears in her eyes and smiled softly at her when she nodded.  
"Yes," she tried to open her arms to her little girl, but Annie was faster. As soon as Annie saw her mom nodding, she moved out of his arms to cuddle up to her mother. Annie was taking it very slow just like Derek had told her and he smiled at that. Annie leaned her head against her mother's chest like she'd always done and looked into her face with concern.  
"Mama, are you sad?" He heard his daughter ask Penelope as he moved to pull himself a chair next to Penelope's bed.  
"No...I'm so so happy Baby Doll," Penelope whispered and smiled at her daughter, even if the tears didn't stop. Derek could understand her, if it were up to him, he would still hold her close and cry his soul out of him, because of happiness to have Penelope back.  
Annie then fully grinned at her mom and gave her a ton of kisses on her cheeks like she always did when she was happy.  
"I'm happy too, momma," she said with the brightest of smiles and cuddled up to her mom. Derek helped Penelope to place her arm around her daughter's waist and held her in place by holding her hand in his.  
Penelope looked at him with a grateful expression and squeezed his hand a bit.  
Annie began to talk to her mom and Derek could see, Penelope tried to listen, but soon she fell back into a deep sleep. Derek and Annie didn't leave her side the whole night. His daughter was glued to her mother's body, and Derek remained in his seat at his wife's bed.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope knew it would be coming that nightmares would hit her again. Her dream was about how Mary had died in her arms. Besides everything that happened to her, that was the worst experience she'd gone through. Seeing a beloved person die wasn't something she could handle too good.   
Being raped was right behind. Penelope dreamed of this often enough, she hated it.  
She woke up with a gasp, feeling her daughter's body at her side. Slowly she tried to remember where she was while looking at Annie's curly brown hair. She focused on her breathing and looked around the room. It had always helped her. She felt a bit better today. A look at the clock on the wall told her it was 8 a.m. She looked around to see Derek's handsome face watching her with concern.  
"Everything's alright Baby Girl?" He asked her as soon as their eyes locked.  
"Nightmares," Penelope told him truthfully in a hoarse voice. She knew she had to talk about the things that happened to her even if it would hurt.  
"I used to have lots of them," averting his eyes she looked to Annie who was still glued to her side, giving her a comfortable warmth.  
"Hey."  
She looked at Derek who was still watching her. He carried so much love for her in his eyes it made her want to cry again.  
"It's alright, you'll make a therapy. It's going to be okay."  
She nodded weakly. Even if she knew Derek would never think that: the feelings of not being enough anymore crossed her thoughts and made her feel sick to her stomach.  
What if she couldn't go on?  
What if Derek couldn't take what she needed to go through in the future?  
What if the therapy didn't work?  
"I can see your 'What if's' written all over your face, Penelope Garcia," his voice crossed her dark thoughts, and she looked at him again.  
"Don't do that," he said with a soft smile full of patience.  
He rose to his feet and came closer to give her a soft kiss on her lips. She felt the warmth of his body and knew he was right, she shouldn't bother herself right now.  
Responding weakly to his kiss she smiled a bit.  
"I'm sorry, I just can't stop myself," she murmured which caused him to grin a bit.  
"It's alright, just found a way to stop you," her husband said with a wink of his eyes. She snorted amused, but he was right. As soon as Derek was near her, she felt at ease. Just like being with her daughter.  
"There are some guys around who really want to see you," he began then, looking her in the eyes.  
"The team's here every day. Now that you're awake they have to fly home in the afternoon. But if you okay with it they would love to see you, Goddess."  
Penelope looked at him, a bit afraid. She longed for seeing her team, but she didn't know if she was ready.  
"One after one?" She said then. If it was too much, she could stop it then. All at once would be too much after two years of being alone.  
"Who's first?" Derek asked, agreeing to her plan.  
"Jayjie," her answer came fast. She remembered seeing her before she'd passed out in the cellar room of her kidnapper and now she longed to see her best friend.  
"Alright, gotta get her," Derek said to her, but Penelope stopped him from going by grabbing his hand.  
"Handsome?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Stay with me, please?"  
Penelope was too afraid to be left alone. Even if Jayjie was her best friend, Derek was her rock, he grounded her, Penelope needed him at her side.  
"Sure. I'm not going to leave your side as long as you need me," Derek answered, squeezing her hand.  
"Thank you," she would love to sit up and hug him, but she knew that wouldn't work for now. So she gave him the most grateful look.  
Derek kissed her softly on her lips.  
"Nothing to thank me for, Baby Girl," he smiled one last time at her before pulling out his cellphone to call JJ.  
While he made the call, Penelope observed her husbands face. He'd gained some folds around his eyes, his beard was all the same, though she thought she would see a few grey hairs. His head was all the same, shaved like she knew it. He looked exhausted and tired, but also very very happy. Penelope always had loved to observe her husband. He was the sexiest, most attractive and most beautiful man she'd ever seen. When he'd told her he loved her those years ago, she hadn't been happier. Since they'd first met, she was genuinely in love with Derek Morgan.  
Ending the call, Derek looked at her.  
"She'll be here in a few minutes." He sat down beside her and squeezed her hand again.  
While waiting, she asked him to help her do drink some water. He helped her to sit up without feeling dizzy. God, she hadn't realized how fragile she was when being at her kidnapper's house.  
"It's the medication, your body finally gets his rest," Derek explained to her what a doc had told him days before.  
"You'll be better with every passing day, hey, are you hungry?"  
"A bit," she didn't even know when she ate her last meal. It must've been days.  
"The nurse brought some oatmeal and banana, do you want something?"  
"No oatmeal please...," she answered him, grimacing.  
"I probably will never eat that again."  
She averted her eyes again but instead asking for more, Derek reached a banana right in front of her mouth.  
"You tell me, whenever you are ready."  
Surprised, she opened her mouth to get a bite off the banana. It tasted delicious, and she nodded slowly while she was watching Derek curiously.  
He grinned at her as he saw her face, but became serious after a second.  
"I don't want to push you if you aren't ready. I'm available, and as long as you're not, I will throw the whole oatmeal out of our house."  
"Handsome...thank you...," she whispered and smiled at him. She knew she wasn't ready by now to talk with him about what happened to her. She would have to, with a therapist but it was something else to tell her husband how often she'd been raped, how often she'd been hit and drugged, she needed time. Knowing that Derek understood her brought relief to her.  
A knock on the door interrupted them and made Annie stir at Penelope's side.  
"Momma?" She asked with closed eyes as the door opened and JJ came into view.  
Derek let go of her hand to join Annie with her morning toilet.  
"I'll leave the door open, Goddess," he whispered to hear after he gave her a kiss.  
Penelope nodded and first was greeted by her daughter who kissed both her cheeks a lot of times. She smiled at her little girl who told her to be back soon with many pictures she'd painted for her.  
When she and Derek had left the main room for the bathroom, Penelope looked over to JJ, who was still standing in the doorframe.  
"Hey...," Penelope said with a smile, a bit nervous because of Derek's abstinence but happy to see JJ.  
"Hey Garcie," JJ eventually came closer to her bed and smiled at her. Her best friends eyes were shining with unshed tears, and Penelope nodded towards her, to invite her to give her a hug. JJ didn't wait for a second and hugged her friend as pleasant as possible.  
"I was so concerned about you," her friend whispered in a tearful voice. She let go of her after another moment and sat down beside Penelope's bed.  
"How are you?"  
"A bit better than yesterday," Penelope answered. She indeed felt better with every passing hour. She got fluids through an infusion and her medicine.  
"I'm so glad Garcie!" JJ smiled at her best friend and Penelope searched for her hand to squeeze it.  
"So I am," she answered. "I've never thought I would see you again. All of you. I was hoping, but I never thought it would happen."  
Seeing the tears in JJ's eyes, her own eyes became wet too.  
"I missed you all so very much," she said with a little sob escaping her throat.  
"I can't tell you how much we all missed you," JJ responded, and they shared some happy tears. JJ and Penelope had grown together since working at the BAU they were godmother's of each other's child and trusted each other completely.  
"How's Henry doing?" Penelope asked JJ then. "And Will? Are you doing good?"  
"We're fine. Henry's so good at school, he loves sports. But he missed you I can say. When I told him earlier that you're back, he cried because he was so happy. Will sends you greetings, he looks forward to seeing you again."  
Penelope smiled a bit at these words. She'd missed all of them too. It would be a hard way coming back to her old life, but she had so many people around her who were more than willing to help her through everything that was lying ahead.

* * *

* * *

  
In a small room at the Oklahoma Police department, Paul Gerad was sitting in front of Aaron Hotchner. It would be the last interview before coming into prison.  
He'd confessed everything he knew. It wasn't much, but enough for him to get many years in prison for he knew what his wife was doing. It was a relief to be finally free from her. Didn't matter if in jail or being loose.  
"Some last words?" Aaron Hotchner asked him, and he raised his head to look at the FBI Agent.  
"Yes. Tell Penelope Morgan two words: Thank you. That's all. I'm grateful that she did what I couldn't.  
With these words, an officer grabbed him by his chains and brought him out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

"It's time to leave now, Mr. Morgan," a friendly looking nurse walked into the room, after knocking at the door, where Penelope was lying at.  
"Visiting time is almost over."  
Derek sighed but nodded. He didn't want to leave Penelope on her own. He knew she needed him right now. And a look at her face showed him everything: she wanted him to stay.  
"Is there no way to stay for the night?" He asked the nurse who shook her head.   
"If the family member is in a critical condition then yes, but now that you feel better, Mrs. Morgan we aren't allowed lot let a family member stay. I'm sorry."  
"Alright, give us a minute, and I'll be gone."  
"Thank you for your understanding, Mr. Morgan."  
The nurse left the room, and Derek rose to his feet just to sit down on the bed next to his wife.  
"I'll be back as soon as the doors are open, Goddess," he told her, caressing her cheek with his thumb.  
Penelope nodded with watery eyes. She had a hard time being alone and had told him about it earlier. He didn't want to leave her either.  
"Do you need something?" He asked her, trying to focus her on other things than being alone for the next hours.  
"Maybe fresh clothes...," she murmured, averting his eyes and looking at her folded hands.  
"Sure Baby Girl, everything you need," Derek said. Penelope was sitting on the bed, so it was easy to pull her into his arms. She moved her arms around him, slowly she was gaining strength but this evening was the first time she was able to hug him back, and it brought tears to his eyes to feel her arms around his waist again.  
"I love you my God Given Solace, don't you ever forget that," he whispered into her ears as she leaned her head against his chest.  
"I love you too Handsome. I'm gonna miss you," Penelope whispered back, and Derek knew she was about to cry. He understood her feelings all too well.  
"I gonna miss you too, baby. Soon you're home with us, and I can't wait to have you where you belong," he said with a low voice, and she nodded in response.  
"Night will be over sooner than you think," he whispered and gave her a soft kiss on her lips as she looked up into his eyes.  
Oh, dare he couldn't be more wrong!

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope woke up in the middle of the night with a loud gasp. Someone had touched her thigh she could feel it! In a few seconds, she would get chained and then there would be no running away from being raped again!  
Her body froze in panic as she tried to focus on any sound around her. She was safe, Derek had found her. Or was it just a dream? Her fear was playing games with her mind, and soon she thought she would hear someone laughing, just like the men did that had raped her. She began to sweat in fear and threw her blanket aside, eyes fully open.   
"Leave me alone!" She cried out loud. Until now she hadn't tried to walk, and as she sat up, she felt very dizzy. But fear and panic caused her to run, and so she attempted, hearing her tormenters laughing behind her. No one was there but in the darkness, all on her own she couldn't realize that.  
Breathing heavily she fell to her knees, rocking off the I.V. pole with her. It made a loud noise which tempted her to panic much more. She tried to crawl away, but the I.V. was still on her arm, so the pole followed her making screeching noises. Also, she thought someone would grab her so she ripped the I.V. out of her arm to get away from the guys she thought would be after her.  
"Don't! Stop it, please," she begged, crawling in the corner of her room, screaming to her tormenter to stop raping her. She made herself as small as possible, trembling all over her body as the room became enlightened suddenly.  
"Mrs. Morgan? Oh, my God..."  
She could barely hear the nurses voice, in her state of panic. She didn't wear her glasses. So when the nurse came close, she tried to back away, crying in fear.  
"Mrs. Morgan, everything is alright, you have a panic attack! Try to calm down. Try to focus on your breathing, and I'll have to get a look on your arm."  
A hand tried to grab her by her wrist, which caused her to cack away even more even if it wasn't possible anymore. It was too much for her, she didn't understand what was happening to her right now. She thought she was safe, but now, she wasn't anymore.  
"No! NO!"  
A ringing sound made everything else impossible to hear, so she kept screaming and begging until she felt a stitch in her upper arm. Only seconds later everything turned black when she passed out.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek was in a good mood this morning. He'd bought Penelope some clothes he'd swear she would love. She was much thinner now, but Derek loved her anyway. Also, he'd bought her some makeup. He didn't know if she would like some, but since she'd always used it, maybe it would bring a smile to her face.  
He walked through the entrance of the hospital and to the elevator. Once inside he pressed the button for Penelope's ward.  
Derek moved one step out of the elevator when he was greeted with Dr. Harrel.  
"Mr. Morgan, good that you're here."  
"What happened?" Derek asked and eventually checked his cellphone. There were no missing calls from the hospital but Dr. Harrel sounded so severe it couldn't be something good.  
"Penelope had a full-grown panic attack last night."  
"What? Why didn't you call me like I told you?" Derek began to get angry. He'd told everyone to call him anytime often enough,. He wanted Penelope to feel safe, and now something like that had to happen, while he was asleep. It made him angry to the bones with the hospital staff.  
"It was in the middle of the night, Mr. Morgan."  
"I don't fucking care! Where is she now?"  
He began to walk in the direction of her room.  
"She's sleeping, maybe you come back later!" Dr. Harrel tried to stop him, but he refused. He would be with his wife when she would wake up, there was nothing to discuss.  
"I stay with her until she wakes up. AND I'm going to stay here every night as long as she's here!" He growled towards Dr. Harrel and walked to his wife's room.  
She was lying in bed, unconscious. Derek put the bags on the table and pulled himself a chair to sit down beside Penelope.  
"I'm sorry, that I wasn't here for you Baby Girl," he whispered and pulled her hand into his, waiting for her to wake up once more.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope wasn't brave enough to open her eyes. Her body felt limp, and she was so afraid to be back in her cell. She knew she couldn't handle that.  
"Yes mom, I call you as soon as she's awake."  
Derek.  
At once she opened her eyes just to see Derek sitting at her side, holding her hand. There was no way to describe how relieved she felt at this moment.   
Derek was talking to Fran, Penelope could hear her voice from where she was lying in bed.  
"Alright Baby Boy, tell her I love her."  
"I'll do that, bye mom." He ended the call and pulled his cellphone back in his trousers. Derek sighed and looked at her with sad eyes that suddenly beamed when he caught her watching him.  
"You're awake!"  
He moved closer to kiss her forehead.  
"How're you doing, baby?"  
"I think I'm doing good," she said slowly, feeling the relief rush over her like a drug. She was safe, she was with Derek. It wasn't a dream to be back with her family.  
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked her gently, and she nodded. She couldn't look into his eyes while she was telling him what happened last night, but she needed to tell someone. And she trusted Derek with her life.  
"I thought my kidnapper's men were in my room. I thought...I thought they wanted to... to rape me again. And I wanted to run away but I couldn't, I was too weak and fell down...," she began to talk faster and faster, still refusing to look into his eyes.  
"I was so afraid, Derek, I thought I just had dreamed that you and the team saved me, I thought I would be back in my cell...," suddenly, she began to sob without control. God, how she hated, being weak but the relief was too much, she needed to let the tears flow. Penelope covered her eyes with her hands when she felt the mattress shifting beside her.  
"Come here, Baby Girl," Derek whispered in a hoarse voice and pulled her into his arms to hold her close. Penelope cuddled up against him, allowing herself to cry for a while, while Derek held her close to his body. Inhaling his scent, she felt a bit better with every moment that passed by.  
"I won't ever let you go anymore, no one will harm you for the rest of your life, Penelope Morgan. I'm so sorry that I wasn't here when you needed me most." He whispered in a tearful voice, and Penelope just couldn't stop crying. It wasn't his fault, and she wanted to tell him, but she wasn't able to form only one word right now, so she shook her head.   
After a while, she was able to calm down a bit. Derek still held her in his strong arms, and she began to feel safe again. She moved her head to look at him and saw that he was crying too, so she put her hand on his cheek to wipe his tears away.  
"It's not your fault, Hot Stuff. You weren't allowed to stay," she said in a low voice. She needed to tell him that. He shouldn't be too hard on himself. Penelope caressed his cheek when he nodded slowly.  
"So there's one good thing. I'm gonna stay here for the night as long as you have to stay here," he said with a small smile which made her simper too.  
"Sounds good," she whispered, leaning her head against his chest. Tonight she would be safe.

* * *

* * *

  
One week later.  
Penelope was finally released from the hospital. Her drug addiction treatment had worked out very well so she could go home with Derek and Annie.  
Dr. Harrel met with her for one last talk before Derek would pick her up.  
"How are you today, Penelope?" The doctor asked her as he sat next to her of her hospital bed.  
"I'm a bit nervous," she answered truthfully. Indeed she was. She would go to therapy three times a week for the beginning to talk about what happened to her in the past two years. Also, she would have to go for a blood test every month. She would have to take many pills for her drug withdrawal. Every day she was fighting against her involuntary addiction to heroin and other drugs, the doctors had made out in her bloodstream. It would take months to a year until she would be fully recovered.   
"That's normal. You have to be patient with yourself, don't forget that. There will be good, and there will be hard days for you."  
She nodded a bit. Penelope knew the upcoming year would be hard for her, she would have to fight every day. But she felt like she would make it, she was optimistic today. Derek and Annie were glued to her side, they made her feel safe and needed.  
She'd also gained some weight. The first days had been hard when she'd tried to eat, she'd felt sick, and her stomach had poorly hurt, but the last two days had been better.  
"I'm trying every day. Thank you, Dr. Harrel."  
"We've already sent your patient file to your doctor in Quantico. I talked to her that morning. She awaits you tomorrow at 9 a.m. to talk with you about the following therapy. Your therapist received his file too, so you don't have to worry about anything."  
Penelope nodded gratefully. She didn't feel like being able to do all these things, and Derek had too much to do with her, she didn't want to burden him with much more.  
"Your husband will be there in a few, I'm gonna get going. Good luck Penelope. I wish you all the best," Dr. Harrel said to her as he rose up to his feet. He shook her hand and smiled at her before leaving the room.  
Being alone for a few moments, Penelope stood up and slowly walked over to the window, watching the people on the streets.

* * *

* * *

  
Annie couldn't be more excited. Today her mommy would fly home with her and daddy. She hadn't slept the whole night, watching the clock to move faster forward. She didn't want to have breakfast, she just wanted to pick her mom up and fly home with her and Dad. She  
"Daddy, can we go now?" Annie asked, standing in front of the door of their hotel room.  
"Say goodbye to your grannie, than we can head to pick up your mom, alright?"  
Annie nodded and ran over to her grannie, who would leave with another flight. Her aunties were gone last week for they were needed at their jobs. Grannie would come to them in a few weeks for a visit, and Annie was looking forward to this.  
"Bye, grandma!" She hugged her grannie and snuggled against her for a while until her daddy was ready for them o leave.  
"Bye my little rainbow," grannie Fran told her and gave her a goodbye kiss.  
They left the hotel together and parted at the street. Grannie Fran took a taxi, her and dad drove with a second one to the hospital.  
Annie jumped out of the taxi as soon as it stopped, causing her daddy to call after her. But Annie couldn't wait, she ran into the hospital, barely able to call the elevator, for she was too little to press the button.  
Her daddy reached her, and together they walked to her momma's room where she was waiting for them.   
Annie didn't knock on the door she opened it and walked in with a bright smile.  
"Momma!" She called out, walking to her. She would've loved to run to her and threw herself into her momma's arms, but daddy had told her to take it slow for a while, and so she did.  
Her mother slowly knelt down in front of her and pulled her into his arms. It was the best feeling in like forever, and she cuddled up to her mom with a happy sigh.  
"Ready to fly home?" Daddy's voice sounded behind them, and she nodded, her momma did too.  
"Ready!" Both of them said at one go and Annie giggled happily. They left the patient's room together, daddy carried her momma's supplies and Annie reached for her mother's hand to walk beside her. The left the hospital and drove to the airport from where they would fly home.


	11. Chapter 11

Penelope was jumpy the whole time thinking about to be in a big crowd like an airport. She couldn't even imagine being with so many people in the same room for such a long time, so she clung to Derek and to her daughter's hand during the drive. How could she even pass so many people?  
Derek held her close to him, she knew he sensed her anxiety and tried his best to calm her down. It helped her a lot, knowing he was with her, he would bring her home safe. But it didn't make things better, she wasn't used to many people anymore.  
Until they reached the airport, she tried to focus on her breathing, worked on not to get another panic attack, for it was enough to bear the stranger behind the taxi-wheel.  
The moment they reached the airport, her breathing increased a bit just by watching the crowds in front of it. She felt panic rising in her gut and grabbed Derek's shirt so hard with her hand, her knuckles became white. But the taxi didn't stop in front of the terminal which caused Penelope to look at her husband who smiled at her. He put her hand in his big palm, to relax her a little bit.  
"We use our jet, no need to worry Baby Girl," he whispered which caused her to feel a rush of relief floating through her body.  
"Thank you," she whispered back, feeling a bit more relaxed now. She leaned her head against Derek's shoulder, closing her eyes until they reached the jet the BAU had sent to them.  
"Thank Hotch," Derek told her during the short drive.   
"I tried everything, but they refused, Hotch managed to get the jet in what felt like three seconds!" She felt him chuckle a bit and smiled a little at her husband's words.  
"That's because he's a hero, daddy! Jack told me everything about his daddy! He's a hero, and that's because he can do things way better than we all," Annie explained to them and now it was to both, Derek and her, to chuckle a bit.  
"Oh, I almost forgot that Baby Doll," she heard Derek say. "Your   
uncle Hotch really is a hero today!"  
"No daddy, he is a hero every day, not just today, ask Jack, he knows it best," Annie answered with an excited voice, which caused Derek to chuckle again.  
"Alright, I'll ask him when we see them the next time," Derek answered to their daughter with an amused voice. Listening to him and Annie made Penelope feel relaxed. It was a hard day for Penelope for she hadn't been up to her feet for such a long time and felt exhausted only from their drive to the airport.  
"We're here guys," the taxi driver made her jump in fear when the car stopped. Again, she grabbed Derek's shirt. Like earlier, she soon felt his hand on hers.  
"It's alright," he whispered, and she opened her eyes. The taxi driver moved out of the car and brought their bags to the jet. Penelope watched him for a while, decided she didn't need to fear that man.   
"Ready Baby Girl?" Derek whispered, brought her attention back to him, and she nodded slowly. She wanted to get out of this car, wanted to finally come home.  
They got out of the car and walked over to the jet. It seemed Derek had made sure that no one was around them. Penelope couldn't be more grateful for all the things he and the team did for her. Annie grabbed her hand again and seemed to be really excited.  
"Is that plane just for us? Daddy? Can we use ALL the seats? Is there a TV inside? I could show mommy my most favorite cartoons!"  
"Wow, Baby, take it slow," Derek answered. "We have a few hours were you can explore the whole jet all on your own. Mommy will need some rest, alright?"  
"Alright, but we could rest together while watching cartoons?" Penelope smiled because Annie refused to give up, so she nodded slowly.  
"We can do that, sweetheart," she said which caused Annie to cheer up. The little girl ran forward up the stairs into the jet to explore everything. Penelope and Derek walked together a bit more slowly. She really was tired, but so badly she wanted to make her way on her own. They walked upstairs and took their places next to each other. Annie was busy exploring every seat, every cupboard and was about to look behind every door. She was as curious as herself had been, Penelope thought to herself while watching Annie. Derek pulled her into his arms, and Penelope leaned her head against his shoulder. She was so tired. The day hadn't been long but exhausting for her.  
"Do you want to lay down for a while?" Derek asked her, but she shook her head. "I'm good here," she answered, hiding a yawn.   
She felt Derek's lips on her forehead and closed her eyes. She felt safe in his arms, as long as he was with her, no one would harm her again, ever.  
"Let's get you a blanket alright? I'll hold you the whole flight if you want to, but you'll get cold, Baby Girl."  
"Alright," she said and let Derek get her a blanket to cover her with it. He pulled her back into his arms, and she closed her eyes again. He'd been right, wrapped in a blanket she felt much better. And so she leaned herself against him. Only seconds later she fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek held Penelope, the whole flight. She didn't wake up for one second. It proved Derek again, how weak his wife was, how much help she would need in the next months. He'd already talked with Hotch about the job. They agreed for him to do more work from home, paper-work for sure. Derek didn't like these part of the job, but for Penelope, he would do anything that was for sure.  
He caressed her upper arm and kissed her forehead from time to time while he was watching some cartoons with Annie. His daughter fell asleep very soon, too, for she had been awake the last night, waiting for the morning to come.  
He held his beloved women in his arms and decided to just enjoy the silence and their company. Derek didn't know what the future was about to bring to them so he would spend every moment, which was good, enjoying. He observed his wife's face. She still was way too thin, so looked her face. The circles under her eyes were still visible, even if it wasn't that bad as it had been before. She clung to him, didn't let go of his shirt even in the most profound sleep.   
Derek was afraid for the moment, Penelope would tell him what exactly had happened to her. He knew that she'd been raped and drugged and been forced to hide her kidnapper's work. But Derek knew there would come the day they would need to talk about the details if they wished to go on with each other. He didn't want Penelope to go through this again, but they had to be honest with each other. Derek knew nothing would change his love for Penelope, she would always be his Baby Girl, still his soulmate and the love of his life. Derek would bear anything to protect her, to show her how much he still loved her, no matter how hard it would be for them.  
The flight would be over soon, so he tried to get his girls awake. Annie was fully awake within seconds, she yawned and went on watching her cartoons as if she hadn't slept at all.  
Getting his wife awake wasn't that simple, but after a few minutes, she stirred in his arms, opening her eyes.  
"Hey Baby Girl, landing approach is about to begin, gotta get ready for heading home," he said in a low voice.   
"Alright," she answered, stretching a bit into his arms.  
"My muscles are aching like I've been running a marathon," she murmured a moment later as she sat up slowly.  
"You're not used to being up for such a long time, If you want a hot bath or a shower tonight, let me know," Derek said, which caused Penelope to tense a bit in his arms.  
"Only if you want to," he repeated, sensing her tension. She didn't look at him and nodded slowly.  
"I would like to, but....," she sighed, frustrated with herself.  
"You know you can tell me, Goddess," he was patient with her. She needed to be honest with herself, with him.  
Penelope refused to look at him. Instead, she watched her hands, sighing.  
"I don't know if I can do this on my own, but you can't help me, I'm too ugly to look at, Derek. I don't want you to see me like this," she whispered, Derek wouldn't have heard anything if he hadn't moved his head in her direction.  
"Baby...," he began. He put one of his large palms on her cheek, moved her head to look at him. Tears were shining in her eyes as she looked into his eyes.  
"I would never think that you are ugly in any way, you can believe me. Whatever it is that makes you think that, don't. I love you with everything that you are, nothing will change that."  
She barely nodded, trying to fight her tears, which caused Derek to pull her into an embrace.  
"Don't hide from me, Baby, then we're going to make it, I will always be at your side."  
She pulled her arms around him a soft sob escaping her throat.  
"I love you so much, Derek," she whispered against his chest, which caused him to smile.  
"Same here, Penelope, I love you too."

* * *

* * *

  
David Rossi had made sure to get everything against Janine Gerard they could find. It was a long list, and she wouldn't leave the prison again for the rest of her life. He was pleased to know that. Janine Gerard would face the death penalty in a few years, and he'd made sure that the BAU team would get informed if her time would come. Rossi was confident the team would want to join the day when she would get the lethal injection. He would do it at every cost. Janine Gerard had hurt a woman who he loved like she was his own daughter. The unsub would have to suffer for what she did to Penelope, that was a fact.  
He took a look at his wristwatch and then looked to the sky.   
Rossi would pick up, Derek, Penelope, and Annie from the airport. Soon they would arrive, and he couldn't wait to see his kitten. There hadn't been enough time to meet Penelope back at the hospital for all of them, so Rossi had made sure to pick her up from the airport. The jet had landed ten minutes ago, so he left the car, locked it and slowly walked to the FBI terminal.  
Soon he could see the three of them. Annie running towards him as soon as she recognized him.  
"Hey little angel, how's my favorite girl?" He asked her as he lifted Annie into his arms.   
"I'm really good, Uncle Dave, mommy is back!" The little girl told him with the brightest smile, pointing at Derek and Penelope, slowly walking towards them.  
"Yeah I know, sweetheart, I'm going to pick you up." He smiled at how happy Annie was. Rossi held her in his arms and greeted Penelope and Derek who finally reached them.  
"Hey Kitten," he said with a smile and watched her for a moment.  
"Hey," Penelope replied and after a moment moved out of Derek's safety to come closer to him. She looked exhausted and was too thin for his taste. The drug abuse was written all over her body. But with time and therapy, she would have a chance, and he would do everything to help his kitten through the rough time lying ahead. He let Annie back to the ground, she walked back to her parents, smiling happily.  
"May I give you a big hug?" Rossi asked her before he did it without her permission. He knew what had happened to Penelope and didn't want to scare her away. But she nodded slowly, giving him a little smile.   
"Come here, Kitten. You don't know how much I missed you," he said softly and pulled her into his embrace. She slowly moved her arms around him.  
"I missed you guys too. So much," Penelope whispered against him before pulling out of the embrace. He let her go, for he knew it could be too much too fast. She went back to Derek, averting her eyes, embarrassed for nothing. But Dave wouldn't force her to talk, she would need time.  
"Let's get you, folks, home, I cooked some of my special pasta, for you, so you don't have to worry about food tonight," he told them while walking to the car together with them. They sauntered in the direction of the vehicle.  
"Thank you, Dave," Derek said with a smile. The older man didn't know when he'd seen Derek so happy for the last time. Having Penelope back brought more than bliss to all of them.  
"I hope you'll enjoy it." He told them as they reached the car. Rossi unlocked it, and Derek pulled the bags of his family into the trunk after helping Penelope into the vehicle. Rossi fastened Annie's seatbelt as soon as the little girl sat down in her booster seat. After Derek had set down beside his wife, Rossi started the car, and they drove to the Morgan's home. The drive took about half an hour, and the most of the time no one spoke a lot. Rossi watched the reunited family from time to time through his rearview mirror with a smile. Both, Derek and Annie clung to Penelope and so did she. Rossi was glad that Penelope wasn't afraid of being touched by her family so she would be able to hold onto something and he was sure that it was much needed.  
"Here we are," he said after he parked the car in front of their house.   
"I'm not able to stay, but I'll call you guys the next days to come over for a while," he suggested, and Derek nodded.  
"Yeah that would be nice, Rossi," he said, and after they said their goodbyes, the Morgans left the car and went to their house. Rossi watched them until they were inside. He then started the car and drove off too.


	12. Chapter 12

Standing in front of her old house, Penelope felt very nervous. She so badly wanted to come home, being there now made her feel like she was, but Penelope was afraid she wouldn't fit in her old life anymore. How long would Derek be patient with her until he would decide he couldn't bear it anymore, having her in his life.  
Her daughter grabbed her hand to get her attention, and she looked at her with a nervous smile.  
"Hey Baby Doll," she said to her, trying to give her daughter her full attention.  
"Can you lock up the door, momma?" Annie asked, holding the keys in her other hand.  
"I'm not tall enough, to open it," she said with a shrug and gave her the keys. Penelope slowly nodded, looking at the keys in her hand, then at the door. She turned around a bit to have a look at Derek who was unloading the trunk. He would join them in a few minutes, nothing terrible would happen to her, Penelope knew it, but her mind seemed to not want to accept it. But she tried to force herself to lock up the door an open it. Annie walked inside and lightened the hallway. It made things easier for Penelope since she was afraid of being in the dark.  
Hearing steps behind her, she turned around with rising panic, but it was just Derek coming towards her with their bags in his arms. He smiled at her and calmed her down within seconds. Everything was alright she tried to tell herself. It would be okay. Derek was with her, Annie too. They would help her, to find back into her old life.  
"Ready, Baby Girl?" Derek asked her, and she nodded slowly. Together they walked into the house, and Penelope closed the door as soon as they were in. Derek put the bags on the floor, and Penelope looked around the hallway. A few more pictures had joined older ones, but nothing else had changed. When Annie was born, she and Derek had decided to make a picture of her every year on her birthday and to hang it up in the hallway so everyone would see how much she'd grown up every year. Derek had done this the past two years, and so she found herself standing in front of her daughter at age three and four and looked at the pictures. Tears burned in her eyes as Penelope saw her little girl. Annie would turn five this year, and Penelope realized she had missed so much. Suddenly she felt Derek's arm around her shoulder and looked at him. He was watching the pictures too, with a sad smile on his lips. But as soon as he looked at Penelope, his face beamed with so much love. He kissed her forehead.  
"Her fifth birthday is in a few months, I bet she wants you to take the picture this year," he said, smiling at her, which caused Penelope to smirk a bit by herself as she nodded. She indeed didn't know what to say, feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.  
"Let's get Annie to bed, tuck her in, then we'll settle in, alright?" Derek asked her, and she nodded again.  
"Alright," she said, looking at him again before averting her eyes. Penelope was afraid to do something wrong or to lose his patience. She knew she worried too much, but she just couldn't stop herself.  
"Come on, Baby Girl," he said instead, giving her another kiss on her forehead. He let her arms around her shoulder and together they walked into the kitchen where Annie was drinking some juice.  
"Time to go to bed, Baby Doll," Derek said to their little girl, and Annie nodded without discussion. "Alright, but you gonna tuck me in, both of you? And can I have a story?" Annie asked, watching both of them.   
"Sure thing," Derek answered, while Penelope just managed to nod. They left the kitchen together and walked upstairs after Derek had locked the door and grabbed their bags. While he brought them to his and Penelope's bedroom, Annie went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Penelope stood in the hallway and didn't know who to follow, so she decided to wait there, feeling bad for not knowing what to do with herself. She hadn't been free to choose what to do for the last two years, and now she felt unable to do it.  
Derek came back to the hallway. As he saw her standing there, he came towards her.   
"Everything alright?" He asked her silently, and she nodded, but then shook her head. She'd promised to be honest with her husband and would try to tell him everything she was able to.  
"I just don't know what to do with myself," she said, sighing in frustration. She felt terrible for being such a burden for Derek, even if they were home just a few minutes.  
"It'll get better, Goddess, be patient with yourself," Derek said to her pulling her to his chest. As soon as she was connected with him, she felt much better. Hugging her arms around his waist, leaning her head against him, she nodded a bit.  
"It's not as easy as I thought it would be." To be honest, she was hoping to come home and feel everything falling back into place. Deep inside she'd known that wouldn't happen, but she'd wished so bad.  
"Maybe it's a bit better after you've slept in our bed," Derek assumed, still holding her while they waited for Annie to get ready.  
"But if it's not, one thing's for sure. I'm here whenever you need me, wake me up, call me from whatever I'm doing. Don't forget it, alright."  
Tears were burning in her eyes as she nodded. God, how much she loved this man!  
"I will try to do my very best," she said with a tearful voice, hugging him deeper.  
"I know you will, Baby Girl, I'm so proud of you. We will make it through everything that lies ahead, I promise. I love you so much," he whispered, and a silent sob escaped her by hearing these words so full of love and trust in her. She didn't understand how Derek still could believe in her, but knowing he did so, she felt she could trust in herself too.  
"Thank you so much, Derek," she whispered back, feeling a bit better now. However Derek managed to do it, he always made her feel better.  
"Nothing to thank for, Baby," he stroke small circles around her back, holding her to his body, which caused her to calm down even more.  
Only seconds later, Annie came out of the bathroom, dressed in a pretty pink nightdress.   
"Wanna check if I brushed my teeth, daddy?" She asked with a grin, but Derek refused.   
"I've heard you brushing them back into momma's and my bedroom, so tonight I let you go," he grinned back at Annie which caused her to giggle and turn around to run into her bedroom.  
Penelope and Derek followed their daughter. They sat down on each side of the bed, so Annie was in the middle of them.   
Derek read a piece of her favorite story to their daughter. It still was The Beauty and The Beast, which made Penelope smile. That was something, which was still the same.  
They tucked their daughter in, and both gave her a good night kiss before they left the room. Derek left the door open a bit so they would be able to hear her if the little girl had a bad dream that night.   
"Wanna have a hot shower?" Derek asked her as they stopped in front of the bathroom door.  
"In the morning would be nice," she answered, not brave enough to face herself right now. At this point, she just wanted to snuggle up with Derek in her bed.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek was alright with Penelope's decision, she still was very exhausted, emotionally drained, so it was just right to have some rest. And maybe she would feel a bit better in the morning. They would have to get up early, for Annie had to be brought to the kindergarten, and Penelope had an appointment with her doctor at nine in the morning. He left Penelope in the bathroom, where she would get ready for the night. When Derek reached their bedroom, the man set the alarm clock so they could be prepared in time. He let Penelope time on her own to get dressed in her nightwear. They would have to buy some new clothes for her as well. Nothing in the dresser would fit her skinny figure now, she'd become too thin. Sighing, Derek also dressed in his sleeping clothes. Like ever, he slept in just pajama pants and decided to do like he ever did, maybe it would make feel Penelope better.  
Only seconds later, Penelope made her way into the bedroom. She'd chosen one of his FBI shirts and leggings, Derek had bought her last week in Oklahoma. Also, Penelope wore warm socks. Derek knew she always felt cold these days, so it was just right to make herself feel as pleasant as possible. She looked at him for a second, observing him, before she moved to her side of the bed, hugging herself.  
"Should I wear a shirt too, Baby Girl?" He asked her, for he felt she was a bit uneasy, but didn't know why exactly.  
"No! No, I like it this way," she whispered, giving him a small smile, hugging herself a bit more.  
"Are you sure, Penelope?" He asked again, and she nodded, so he shrugged a bit and laid down on his bedside, Penelope following his motions. She began to move to him but suddenly stopped. It seemed like Penelope didn't know if it was right, what of was about to do, so he smiled at her and nodded, inviting her into his arms. He could hear her exhaling a deep breath. Penelope followed his invitation promptly by placing her head on his chest and snuggling up against him. He pulled her into his arm and caressed her upper arm softly.  
"Just do what you want to do, Baby, no one will harm you here." He placed a kiss on the top of her head and held her close, after covering both of them with his blanket.  
"It's kind of hard. I couldn't do what I wanted in the past two years. I think I forgot how to do it right." She slowly placed her trembling hand on his belly, caressing over his six-pack until she rested her hand on his chest beside her head.   
"That's alright, Baby Girl, just practice until you remember to feel right when doing it."  
He had a lot of patience with her, Penelope had had rough two years, experiencing too many terrible things. Derek would do everything to make her feel in place again.  
She nodded against his chest, and he pulled her even closer, sensing her uncertainty. Soon, he felt her drifting off to sleep. Putting out the light in their room, he closed his eyes only seconds after her. He was tired as well and could need some rest.   
It felt like only seconds when he felt Penelope stir in his arms and tensing. He was fully awake when he heard her whisper.  
"No...no please...," she began to struggle away from him. For sure, she didn't know where she was.  
"Let me go," she whined, trying to get out of his grip, away from him.  
"I can't do this, let me be," Derek tried to put the light on before he wanted to talk to Penelope who was panicking by now really hard. She moved out of his arm just when he lightened the room and fell out of their bed.  
"Penelope!"  
Derek moved out of the bed, he desperately wanted to help her, but she still was locked in some bad memories, she didn't recognize him. He needed to touch her, maybe then it would get better, he just could hope.  
Penelope on the floor was making herself as small as possible, trembling all over her body. She tried to get away from him, crying and begging for her tormentors to let her be.  
It broke Derek heart into pieces to see her like this.   
He got on his knees right in front of her. By this time, she'd hidden her eyes behind her hand, crying.   
"Baby Girl," he whispered, trying to hold his voice as calm as possible.   
"It's just me, Derek," he told her, putting his big palms over her trembling wrists.  
"Look at me Goddess, you're safe."  
"N.no...don't...," Penelope began to whimper, trying to let her hands where they'd been.  
Derek stroked small circles over her hand, trying to calm her down enough to listen to him.  
"Baby, it's me, Derek. You're home. I'm sorry, I put the lights out," he said, and suddenly she stirred.  
"D.derek?" Penelope whispered, not entirely trusting his voice.  
"Yes, it's me, everything's alright, Baby Girl, look at me, I'm right in front of you."  
Finally, he was able to remove her hands from her eyes. She was still crying in fear when he put one hand on her cheek to wipe away her tears.  
"It's you...really you...," Penelope whispered after she forced herself to look at him. "I'm home....," she said when a loud sob escaped her throat.  
"I'm so sorry, Derek, I thought...thought I would...," she tried to explain herself, but Derek pulled her into his arms. He didn't need an explanation.  
"Shhh...it's alright, I got you, don't apologize," he whispered into her ear when he lifted her up to get her back to bed. He walked around the bed to his side, where he laid down with her, not letting her out of his arms.  
Penelope clung to him, crying harder now, murmuring apologizes, where nothing like that was needed.  
"Don't apologize. We'll leave a light on in the night, then you'll recognize where you are when you wake up. It's going to be okay, you will see," he said calmly.  
She nodded weakly at him when he stroked her blonde hair.  
"Tomorrow you'll feel much better, I'm here. You don't need to worry this night, I got you," he whispered almost an hour until Penelope slowly stopped crying. She still clung to him, even when she fell back into an exhausted sleep.   
Derek left the light on his nightstand on, just in case, Penelope would wake up again. He held her close to him, falling back into a restless sleep. He would wake up every here and then to check on his wife. Penelope made him worry a lot, but Derek knew if she fought, she would get better. She just needed time, and he was willing to fight together with her.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Penelope woke up in Derek's arm, startled by a sudden alarm sound. Derek's arm held her close as she tried to get away from that noise and began to panic.   
"It's just the alarm on my cellphone, Baby Girl," he murmured with a calm voice.   
"It's nothing to be scared of."  
She tried to calm down a bit, slowly opening her eyes and realizing where she was. Derek wouldn't lie to her, he'd never had done that. Penelope took herself a moment to realize she indeed was at home, in her husband's arms. That she was safe. Penelope sighed in relief and nodded.   
"Morning," he whispered and kissed her forehead. She moved a bit to look into his eyes. Derek was smiling at her, even if he looked really exhausted this morning.   
"Morning," she greeted him too.  
"Do you feel a bit better?" Penelope needed a moment to remember, what had happened last night, but the memory came back with every passing second of being awake. Suddenly full of shame, she averted her eyes and nodded a bit.  
"Yes," she murmured, and it was only a moment later when she felt Derek's hand on her chin. He moved her head to look at him again. Still, he was smiling at her. God, how much patience must he have!  
"Really Goddess?"  
"I'm just so ashamed....," she whispered, and that was all she felt right now: shame for being so weak. Tears burned in her eyes as she said that.  
"I can understand that, but you know you don't have to, right?"  
"I know, but it's not that easy to understand."  
"Hey, it took me decades to understand that the things, Buford did to me weren't my fault. You'll get your therapy dates today. And they will teach you how to fight this feeling. How to live with these memories. Nothing of what happened to you is your fault. And it's more than right to have nightmares or flashbacks for you've gone through worse shit. Don't be ashamed, not in front of me."  
Penelope felt herself smiling in relief a bit at his words. Derek was right, there was no need to be ashamed. Derek was someone who could understand why she felt ashamed for he went through the same thing: he'd been raped when he was a teenager. Derek wouldn't keep her in distance if he knew what had happened to her. He wouldn't leave her for this like she didn't abandon him.  
"I'm sorry, you're right," she said, fully awake by now. "I need to learn all this new, but you're right."  
"Sure, I am right," he grinned at her and gave her a loving kiss.   
"But you didn't sleep well," she said, after looking at his tired expression after responding to his kiss.  
"I was worried about you. That's okay, I'll take a nap later, no need to worry about me," Derek said honestly, and Penelope nodded slowly, accepting his words.  
"But now it's time to stand up, get our little rainbow out of bed. Would you mind, waking Annie, while I get our breakfast ready?" Penelope nodded, that would be okay with her, getting Annie awake was a great start into the day after these loving words from her husband.  
"I think I can do that."  
"Just come downstairs, when the two of you are ready," Derek said and gave her another sweet kiss on her lips, before letting go of her to stand up.  
Almost ten minutes later, she and a tired Annie walked into the kitchen, where Derek had made some breakfast for all of them.  
"Hot chocolate for my little Rainbow, a cup of coffee for my Baby Girl," he said with an excellent mood, giving both of his girls a kiss on the cheek. Annie giggled at Penelope's side and sat down on a chair in front of the kitchen table.  
"Daddy, you're so funny, when you're in a good mood," she grinned and took a sip of her chocolate, awhile Penelope sat down too, unsure, what to do. Derek brought Annie some cereals and some fruits and bread with cheese for him and Penelope.  
"Didn't know what you want to have, so I just made this, that alright, Baby?" He asked her as he sat down beside her. Penelope was grateful for this and nodded. She wasn't hungry at all, she felt nervous and a bit restless, but she would eat some fruits, for he did so much for her.  
"Thank you. That's very good," Penelope said with a little smile in Derek's direction.  
"Oh, and I got your medicine right here," he said, pulling out a small box of his pajama pants and gave it to her. "You have to take them in time."  
"Thank you, Sweetness," she said, taking the pills one after another with a sip of water, Derek had placed in front of her. She would have to take them for at least a year until her body didn't feel like craving for drugs anymore. She was glad for having these pills, she would get crazy without these, for her body still was craving for the feeling the drugs had caused.   
After that, they ate in silence. Penelope couldn't eat that much, she still wasn't used to so much food, but it tasted quite good, and she enjoyed the cup of coffee very very much.  
"Momma? Can you help me get ready for kindergarten?" Annie asked after breakfast, after getting her mothers attention by grabbing her hand.  
Penelope nodded a bit unsure. She knew what to do, but she was afraid to disappoint her daughter. "I'll try Baby Doll, okay?"  
Annie nodded happily.   
"Okay momma, and if you can't we go and get daddy to help you," the little girl said, in a matter of fact and crawled from her chair to Penelope's lap, snuggling up to her. Penelope held her close, relieved her little girl did understand so well what she couldn't say. She kissed her daughter's top of the head while closing her eyes for a moment.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek watched his girls with a little smile on his lips. Annie handled her mother so natural and in the most perfect way. He suddenly realized how much relief it caused him to see them acting like this. He'd been afraid Annie wouldn't understand what had happened to her mother, why Penelope was so scared and unsure about everything, but Annie did very well. That must have been his little girl's instinct. Derek was more than happy about this fact, he wouldn't have to worry about their relationship too, that was for sure.  
Annie and Penelope walked out of the kitchen, upstairs to get themselves ready for kindergarten and therapy and Derek cleaned up the kitchen. He'd realized that his Baby Girl hadn't eaten that much, he would have to take an eye on her eating behavior in the next days. Hopefully, she would eat something more to gain her strength.  
He walked out of the kitchen and got dressed after taking a hot and calming shower. At the time he was ready, both of his girls were ready too. Annie looked beautiful in a pink dress, Penelope had made two pigtails out of her hair and decorated them with some colorful butterfly clips.   
"Baby Doll, your momma, had done some excellent work, wow you look stunning!" He greeted them, and Annie giggled happily after he'd observed her look.   
"She has to do it every day now, daddy, you're out," she grinned at him, and Derek laughed at these words.   
"I expected that little princess," he said lifting her up into his arms to hug her. Annie giggled happily and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Ready girls?" He asked then, walking over to Penelope who was standing in the doorframe. She wore a too-big dress and some leggings he'd bought her in Oklahoma and some flat shoes. She'd just combed her hair and wore no makeup. But still, she was the most beautiful woman on earth to him. Holding Annie in one of his arms he wrapped his other arm around Penelope's shoulder.   
"Ready," she said, still silent and unsure. But Derek was at least glad, she had believed him earlier. Penelope just needed to understand, nothing of this was her fault. As soon as she would, she could recover. Just like he'd done, years ago.  
They brought Annie to the kindergarten and headed to Penelope's doctor right after that. Penelope refused to go alone, so Derek, for sure, joined her. They took blood from her to check on it and also checked her physical condition. It wasn't much, but Derek felt Penelope's tension all along. His heart broke for her, but he knew she needed to go on, it wouldn't be helpful for her if she would lock herself in their house.  
Meds were prescribed, and after they walked to the pharmacy, Penelope told him she needed a break. So he brought her to their SUV where she could sit down, and Derek bought them two coffee. When he returned, he found Penelope slightly trembling all over her body.  
"Hey, Baby Girl, what's wrong?" He asked with concern, placing the coffee on the retainer.  
"It's just so much," Penelope answered, trying to calm down. He wrapped one arm around her to pull her into his arms.  
"One way to the therapy and we head back home. Do you think you can manage that?"  
"You're coming with me, right?"  
"Sure, I'm not leaving your side until you want me to."  
Derek stroke small circles around her back when Penelope leaned herself against him.  
"Okay, then I think I can bear it," she said with a trembling voice, after sighing deeply.  
"Let's enjoy our coffee, we have a bit of time for your next appointment. Today is just for you to get to know your therapist, it'll be over in half an hour. We will head home as soon as it's over," he told her calmly, and his wife nodded against his chest.  
"I'm sorry, I'm such a burden for you, Derek," she said, with the saddest voice he'd heard in a long time.  
"You're not, Goddess. Never was, never will be. Don't talk yourself into it," he answered while he squeezed her arm. He could fully understand those thoughts, but he needed her to get rid of them as soon as possible.  
"In good times and in bad times, I'll always be there for you."  
"God I don't deserve you, Derek Morgan," Penelope said, which caused Derek to chuckle.  
"Remember, I told you the same some time ago. You're my God-Given-Solace, and I'm not giving up on you, alright? We're stuck in this together."  
Penelope put one arm around his waist, her trembling had stopped at his words, he could feel her calm down immediately.  
"Thank you, Hot-Stuff," she murmured.   
"You'll always find the right words, do you know that?" She asked him, he thought to hear a little smile in these words, which meant the world to him. Seeing or hearing the love of his life smiling was just more than a jackpot for him.  
"I'm just saying what I mean, you know me."  
"Yes, I know you. You haven't changed at all."  
She looked into his eyes after she'd moved back into a sitting position.   
"You're still my Noir hero. You can make me feel better in seconds, and I couldn't be happier for having you in my life," she said, this time with a soft smile on her lips. Even if it faded after a moment, he'd seen her smile which caused him to feel much happier than before.  
"Thank you for letting me know, Baby Girl, I'm glad I still have this impact on you," he said, indeed glad about her words. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.   
"You have," she left her hand in his but grabbed her coffee with her other hand to take a sip of it.  
"I'm not that strong, but with you, I feel like I can go through this," she said silently, looking out of the window. They were still in their parking lot in front of a coffee shop.  
"You are strong. You went through this for two years, and you're still here. You're the one who is alive, don't forget that. If you haven't helped us with this important information, we wouldn't have found you in time, Baby."  
She looked at him again, a bit confused. She honestly hadn't thought about this for a moment, he realized.  
"What? I'm honest, you're a true goddess. Just saying." He grinned a bit at her and for the second time this morning he received a smile from the woman he loved so much.  
"Thank you, Sweetness," she answered, and for what he could say, she had calmed down entirely by now.  
"Anything for you, Penelope Morgan!"  
They drank the rest of their coffee in silence and headed to the address where Penelope would have her therapy afterward.  
They got out of the car and made their way to the surgery. Derek held his wife close as they walked and she managed it without a panic attack through it.  
The conversation with her therapist was constructive and didn't take so long. It was an older woman who appeared to be very patient with Penelope. His wife couldn't trust the woman right now, but he had a feeling she would be able to in some time.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope was just relieved after the conversation was over. The woman indeed had been very kind to her, and she would try to open up to her. It would be a lot of work for her, but she would do anything to feel better again.  
She was tired as hell and closed her eyes as soon as Derek started the car, just to wake up when he pulled her into his arms back home.  
"Couch or bed?" He asked her gently, and all she could answer was "Couch," before she drifted back into sleep. She was exhausted and needed the rest.


	14. Chapter 14

**Six month's later**  
Penelope did and felt better with every passing day. Three times a week, she went to her therapy. Slowly, she had been able to open up to her therapist, who, indeed was a very kind woman.   
Penelope found herself looking forward to these meetings after the first month.   
Some meetings had been with Derek, most of them she talked to the therapist on her own. Penelope was grateful for every time she made a step forward. She took her medicine and together with Annie and Derek, they created a daily rhythm they all could handle.   
Annie was the most magnificent girl, she handled Penelope like her father with so much patience. Penelope found herself enjoying every moment with her daughter. They painted pictures together, and she created her daughter's hair every morning, including her style which reminded Penelope of her own style, she'd used to wear before she had been kidnapped.  
Penelope had even gained some weight. She still was very skinny but, for a start, her body was getting healthy again, and she felt it, which was more important for her.  
Derek was working at home, he did some paperwork for the BAU. Even if Penelope knew, Derek missed being at the front, she was grateful for him being the best husband in the world.  
She'd even been brave enough to tell him some details of the men who'd raped her. Sometimes, flashbacks would force themselves into her mind, but Derek was always there to help her through. They became less. Indeed, she'd gone without them for the last two weeks and was very glad about this fact.  
One thing that bothered her was they hadn't had sex until now, and she needed him to understand, why she was afraid. Still, he hadn't seen her naked yet, but he'd been very patient with her all the time.  
And that had been yesterday's therapy conversation. Penelope's therapist had told her to try every day a bit and today she would.   
It was supposed to become a warm summer day, and she decided to wear a tank top instead of one of his shirts which she used to wear as soon as she was at home. Hugging herself tightly, she'd been walking into the kitchen and had been greeted by her husband. Derek had complimented her bravery and to her surprise, her beauty, as soon as he saw her in the morning, which made her feel a bit better.   
He always was so patient with her and loving, she couldn't believe her luck.   
Penelope hadn't looked much at herself since she was home, too. She felt too ugly to look at, and she knew it was just Derek who actually could help her. He always was able to make her feel better and sexy. She would ask him to join her in the shower today if she was brave enough. At least, she would try.   
After they'd brought Annie to the kindergarten, Penelope began to feel very nervous. Once in a while she opened her mouth to ask her question, but no word would leave her, so she quickly shut it and looked out of the window.  
What if Derek would be disgusted seeing her?  
What if he would say no?  
What if he didn't want to see her naked at all?  
What if he wanted and she would panic or have a flashback?  
It was frustrating as hell.  
"What's wrong Baby Girl?" Derek's voice appeared in her thoughts, just as she thought she wouldn't be brave enough to ask him today, and she looked over at him, sighing.  
"I just...I'm trying to ask you something, but..."  
"But the 'what if's' are overwhelming, aren't they?" He asked. A soft smile appeared on his face, while he asked her.  
"Yes! They are almost unbearable. I mean, what if you say no to my question?"  
"Baby, I won't say no, even if I don't know what you'll ask me. Why should I? Just trust me and try, alright?"  
Penelope looked at him for what felt like an hour. He just knew how to talk to her, but she still was nervous, so she looked out of the window and mumbled:  
"I wanted to ask you if you would join me in the shower back home," the words left her mouth so fast, she almost fell over her own tongue by saying them.  
Derek went silent for a moment and just when she was about to panic for saying something wrong, his hand appeared on her thigh.  
"Sure thing, Baby Girl! I would absolutely love to!" He grinned at her and immediately, her cheeks felt like being in flames.  
Penelope looked at him, saw him grinning and tears formed in her eyes.  
"Are you sure?" She asked him, to be sure he didn't make fun of her.  
"Hell, yes! I told you I would wait until you're ready, but now that you are willing to let me join you in the shower I must tell you how lucky you make me right now!"  
He was driving so he couldn't look her into the eyes, but she indeed saw how happy Derek was, he was grinning all over his face, beaming with happiness. She smiled at this view and placed her hand over his on her thigh. He would be gentle, and she knew it.  
"I'm quite nervous....," she told him honestly. She'd always explained him everything she felt, and he needed to know that.  
"You may not expect that, but I'm nervous too Baby Girl," he said, his voice full of honest.  
"You are?" She, indeed, hadn't expected that. So she looked quite surprised at him, it was a bit of a shock, but positively. Knowing he was nervous too, made it easier for her to handle.  
"Of course! I wanna do everything right, to make you feel good. So, promise me, Goddess, what you want when we're in there. I'm glad, you give me that chance, but if you feel uncomfortable, please tell me, alright?"  
"That sounds good to me," she said, squeezing his hand again, glad about his words.   
They headed back home and made their way upstairs to take their shower. She and Derek would take their time. They had the whole morning while Annie was at the kindergarten. They walked to the bathroom, both fully dressed. Derek slowly closed the door behind them.  
"May I undress you?" He asked her then, looking at her face. Penelope slowly nodded, feeling nervous as hell. But she trusted him with her life. She was slightly trembling when his hands touched her shoulders, but she kept looking into his eyes.  
Slowly, he began undressing her, at first he removed her top, after that her skirt and shoes, so she faced him in just her underwear. Penelope couldn't fight hugging herself, for she was just too ashamed of her body. And Derek, the perfect man to her that he was, removed his shirt and pants also. He pulled her into an embrace after that without any word.   
Feeling his skin against hers and inhaling his scent was the best thing, Derek could do for her at just that moment. She relaxed a bit and moved her arms around his waist.  
"Goddess, you feel so good, do you know that," Derek whispered in her ears which caused her to shiver. Penelope again was more than grateful for having this man at her side. She took her time to enjoy the feeling of his skin.   
"I think we can go on," she whispered after another moment, pulling out of the embrace. She looked at Derek, her cheeks were flaming with shame. Penelope knew she didn't need to feel ashamed, but she did. She'd gathered many scars in the years she'd been kidnapped and still didn't feel comfortable with it.  
"I can stop anytime, Baby Girl. You did a huge step today and if you need a break...," Derek began, but Penelope interrupted him.  
"No, please, go on, Derek," she told him, looking into his eyes.   
"I want to feel better, only you can do that, please don't stop...," she couldn't explain more, but he understood what she tried to say and nodded.   
He removed his underwear first, so he was fully exposed to her. Then, he gently opened her bra and removed it from her body. He looked into her eyes after that. She exactly knew what he would see there: fear and shame.  
"You know I love you," he whispered, and she nodded, tears were burning in her eyes. Derek gave her a kiss, full of love, he then removed her panties.   
"All done," he said, kneeling in front of her. She'd followed all his movements. He kissed her belly and made her shiver. Slowly he let his hands stroke over her bare arms as he rose back to his feet.   
He took her hands in his and guided her into the shower. Derek put the water on and waited until it was warm enough for her. Just then he pulled her against him into the hot water stream. Penelope leaned her head against his chest and just enjoyed being close to him. He held her for a long while, slowly stroking circles around her back.  
"You feel as good as I remembered you, Baby Girl, may I take a look at you?" He asked her, which caused her to tense in his arms.  
"You'll be disgusted," she whispered, afraid to see this.  
"How could you ever think this?" He asked her, and suddenly, she felt his hand under her chin to make her look at him.  
"You haven't looked at yourself, right?"  
Penelope tried to hide a sob and nodded in agreement. She couldn't look at herself anymore, she didn't even use makeup since she was back home.  
"Let's do it together, then, alright?" He asked her, smiling at her, while he wiped away the tears from her cheekbone.   
"I don't know if I can do this, Derek," Penelope whispered. She was too afraid of what she would see.   
"Hey, I'm with you, I got you, whatever it is," he said, before softly kissing her forehead.   
"Give it a try? You wanted to feel better, this is necessary."  
Penelope sighed. She knew it, but she was just so afraid.   
"Okay then," she whispered weakly, while she clung to him. Derek stopped the water and pulled both of them in one towel.   
"I'm right here, no need to be afraid of anything, Goddess," he murmured as they walked over to a full body mirror. Derek placed her in front of it, still covered by the towel. He stood right behind her, looking at her through the mirror image.  
"Listen to me, alright? I tell you what I see," he suggested, waiting for a response, so she nodded again. Penelope couldn't stop her tears from falling, the moment was just too intense, it was very hard for her.  
"Alright. I see your face, you're ashamed, and you're full of fear. But I see your beauty, with makeup or without. Your eyes are still the same, your hair is still the same. Your smile, when you show it is the same. And God, how I love your smile, Penelope Morgan," he began to say and then removed the towel to expose her fully to both of them. Penelope tried to look away, but Derek words and his touch on her shoulders caused her to look back into the mirror. Her view was blurry, so she wiped away her tears and listened to him.  
"You've gained some scars all over your body, but they just show me how strong you are. You fought against your kidnappers, you didn't give up, that's what they're teaching me, Goddess. Your body still is the same. You're skinnier, yes, but it's still you inside."  
He stroke soft circles with his palms over her arms and looked at her full of love. How could she not believe him?  
"Your body has changed, yes, but Baby Girl, if you want to change it back to your old figure, do it. If your desire is, to be thin, do it. I will love you no matter what you decide because inside, it's still you. And that's the important thing. But, just to mention it: Your breasts haven't changed at all, do you see them?" He asked her, and she looked at them. Derek was right, they were still firm and full, maybe a bit smaller but that, indeed, was something that hadn't changed that much. She recognized them as her own.  
Derek touched her waist then, still looking at her in the mirror image.   
"You've born our child which caused you a scar too, right?" He asked while slowly placing his palm on her belly right were her abdominal delivery scar was.  
Penelope nodded in agreement, while another sob escaped her throat.   
"Y.you're right," she whispered in a tearful voice.  
Derek hugged her from behind and placed some kisses on her neck as she leaned herself against him.   
"You're still the most beautiful woman on earth to me, and I hope you let me show you at one place that you're still the one for me. You're the momma of our beautiful Baby Doll, the love of my life. The sexiest woman on earth. God, how much I want you right now, you cannot imagine."  
Indeed, she could. She felt Derek's body behind her, he was fully aroused, and suddenly, Penelope was overwhelmed with positive emotions.   
"You still want me like that?" She asked, almost in disbelieve. Penelope wanted to trust him, but she could barely believe it.  
"Nothing would change that," he answered, holding her close to him.   
"I...I've been raped Derek, many times. How could you?" She asked for the first time since she was back. How could he live with that fact?   
"Because I love you Baby Girl. You didn't do this on purpose, you didn't cheat on me. You've been raped, yes, but nothing of that is your fault. Nothing. I will ever want you, even if we're both old and wrinkly. You're the love of my life. Ask yourself Baby Girl. I've been raped too, how could you want me?" He asked her and that caused her to think. She went silent in his arms, looking into his eyes through the mirror.  
"Remember me telling you about Buford all those years ago?" He asked her then.  
"Sure...," she answered with a hoarse voice. God, how right he was.  
"Did it make you love me less?" He asked her then.  
"No! I loved you even more, Handsome, you're so strong...," Penelope whispered, knowing what he was about to say to her.  
"So here you have your answer, Baby Girl. I couldn't stop loving you at any time. You're the strongest person I know."  
He told her, smiling at her with so much love, which caused her to cry again, this time in happiness.  
"I couldn't believe it when you first told me you love me. But you proved your love to me every single day since we are in a relationship. And right now, you're doing it again," she said between sobs and turned around to face him. Penelope hadn't kissed him, she'd always waited until he kissed her, but this time, she put her hands on both of his cheeks and kissed him passionately. Derek responded to her kiss without waiting for a second. He pulled her into his arms as close as possible.  
She would never ever forget this moment in her whole life. Derek, indeed, had made her feel better. He hadn't touched her much, but his words had affected her soul deep inside. Penelope couldn't feel better at this moment.

 


	15. Chapter 15

After the kiss, they pulled apart to look at each other for a long time. Derek could feel how relaxed Penelope suddenly felt in his arms. She smiled at him and for the first time, since she was back at home, her smile reached her eyes. Derek smiled back at her, adoring his beautiful wife at this moment more than ever. Derek held her close, his emotions overwhelming him at this particular moment they shared. He never thought he could love one woman more than he did love Penelope.  
They shared more kisses, kept just enjoying each other until he felt his wife freezing. Goosebumps appeared all over her body, and she began to shiver.  
"You're freezing," he whispered gently, softly rubbing her back with both of his hands.  
"I wish I could say I'm not freezing at all, but you're right," she answered with a sigh, seeking the warmth of his body.  
"We could lay down in bed, that's much warmer," Derek suggested, still holding her close.   
He didn't want to do something more but felt she wanted the same like him: enjoying the sudden feeling of being close to each other again.  
"Sounds good to me," Penelope answered him, her voice full of trust. She knew he wouldn't do more than she wanted. Derek smiled and let go of her. He grabbed the towel and pulled it around Penelope's shoulders. They walked into their bedroom, and he laid down on his side of the bed. Penelope moved to her side, let the towel fall to the ground and joined him in bed. She snuggled up against his chest and wrapped one arm around his waist. Derek wrapped his arm around her, thoroughly enjoying her bare skin against his. After that, he grabbed his blanket and covered both of them with it.  
"I missed that," Penelope suddenly whispered, she still felt completely relaxed in his arms. He couldn't tell how much he'd missed these moments. Derek began to stroke her yet wet blonde hair, combing it softly with his fingers.   
"I missed that, too. Thank you for giving me this chance, Baby Girl," he said with a smile in his voice.   
"No, I wanted that, in fact, I wanted that for a long time, but I just wasn't brave enough to ask you. But, Hot Stuff I have to thank you for always making me feel so much better. I can't say how much I trust you," Penelope said, slowly stroking circles over Derek's chest with her index finger.   
"Still, I don't know what you do and how, but it worked," she said with the most grateful voice.  
"I'm glad then. Thank you for trusting me, Baby Girl."   
Indeed he was glad, Penelope trusted him with all her heart, and she'd proven it earlier. He kissed the top of her head.   
"I'm glad too," she whispered, and he could hear her trying to hide a yawn. She must feel very exhausted after this emotional run he realized. He was sure she was emotionally drained right now.   
"Rest for a while, Baby Girl," he said with a low voice, still caressing her hair.  
"I don't wanna, but it's so warm and cozy right now," she said cuddling more against him.   
"It will be the same when you wake up. You need it, take your nap."  
"You're not going away, while I'm sleeping?" She asked, almost asleep when he responded he was sure, she didn't hear any word he'd said.   
"I won't move an inch," he whispered, listening to her steady breathing.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope woke up in Derek's arms, just like she'd fallen asleep earlier. She still felt warm, cozy and so relaxed, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd felt like this. Inhaling her husband's scent, she moved her head to look at him.  
"Hey Baby Girl," he was watching her with a soft smile on his lips. "Had a good nap?" He asked interested, and she nodded.  
"No dreams, I'm just feeling good right now," she answered truthfully, enjoying everything in this moment.   
"Did I sleep for a long time?" She asked then, trying to eye the clock on Derek's nightstand.  
"Two hours, I told you, you needed it," he answered, stretching his body slowly.  
"And you laid still here all the time?" Penelope rose up a bit, looking at him with an apologizing face.   
"You asked me to," he answered honestly, still smiling at her. He didn't seem to be uncomfortable, but Penelope, however, felt guilty for it.   
"Stop it, whatever the beautiful head of yours is telling you," Derek said, pulling her back to him. "It's quite alright. To be honest, I enjoyed every minute of it."  
"Okay," Penelope said, relieved to hear this from him.  
"We gotta get ready in a few minutes anyway, do you want to take Annie from kindergarten with me, or do you want to sleep another while?" Derek asked her after a moment of silence.  
"I'm coming with you, I won't be able to sleep tonight, if I stay in bed all day," she answered with a little smile, causing him to chuckle.  
"That may be true. Tomorrow's a big day for our Baby Doll, so we should have some sleep indeed." Derek said with an amused voice, and she smiled at these words.  
"Her fifth birthday, she's so excited," Penelope agreed. She was glad to be here for her daughters birthday, yet she was nervous for there would be many people around. But she refused to think about it, she decided to look at the positive things. Just like her therapist had told her.  
"I've got to get her cake ready this afternoon," Penelope said, focusing on the work she would have to do.  
"A rainbow cake it is what she wants, right?"  
"Yes, JJ bought all the stuff we will need last week, she'll bring it over this afternoon," Penelope explained. She was glad for having JJ in her life. Emily would join them too, and if Penelope was honest, she was looking forward seeing their friends again. She felt so much better after the shower with Derek and their talk, so much lighter and she wanted to tell her friends about it.   
"Full house this afternoon? Sounds good to me," Derek said and kissed her softly. She smiled into the kiss.  
"Let's get ready then?" She asked him, and he nodded in agreement.   
"Seems that we have to."  
They climbed out of bed and got dressed, Penelope decided to go to the bathroom and style her hair, just a bit. Slowly, she began to feel like herself again, but she didn't want to go too fast into it.

* * *

* * *

  
When Penelope left the bathroom, Derek was waiting for her. She looked perfect to him, and he couldn't stop himself pulling her into his embrace. Today he felt like he'd fallen in love just more with her than he already was.  
Penelope wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his chest.  
"I love you Baby Girl," he whispered after kissing the top of her head lovingly.  
"And I love you, Sweetness," Penelope whispered back. They made their way to the SUV and headed to the kindergarten to pick up Annie. JJ and Emily would join them later so Derek would go outside, to play with Annie while Penelope, JJ, and Emily would bake her birthday cake.  
Annie was waiting for them in front of the kindergarten. She was waving happily at her parents when they parked the car. The little girl ran lightly into her mother's arms. Penelope lifted her up, she was getting stronger with every passing day, and Derek was relieved to see it.   
The first month's had been one big struggle. Penelope hadn't eaten enough since she'd felt ugly, dirty and not worth it at all. She'd had a lot of nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks during the first three months of being home. Nothing but his touch would get her out of these memories her head had shown her. She'd refused to trust her therapist. Luckily, the woman had made it through the wall, Penelope had built around her. It had been rough three months for all of them. Derek had made Annie sleep at her godparents home as often as possible. He'd barely slept at all. On her worst day, after being home for four weeks, Penelope had begged him to leave her, to go on without her. She'd cried a lot, her emotions had drained and exhausted her. She hadn't felt worthy of anything, but Derek had refused to leave her. He'd always known they would make it through. And when the first night came, where she hadn't woken up out of nightmares, the first day where she hadn't had a panic attack or a flashback, she'd cried happily in his arms. She'd apologized for what felt like a thousand times and from this day on, he'd felt how much she'd worked to heal. She'd begun to eat more, she'd opened up to her therapist, which had caused lesser nightmares, better sleep.   
Now, standing here and watching her with Annie made Derek forget the past months. She was slowly finding back to herself, and he was more than relieved for it. This morning had been a massive step for her too, and he could already see the impact, their shower and being-together had caused: she seemed to feel lighter, happier, her smile reached her eyes. He could watch her all day long. 

* * *

* * *

  
JJ picked up Emily in the afternoon. They would visit Penelope and bake a cake for her goddaughters birthday tomorrow. JJ was really looking forward to meeting her, because it had been Penelope who'd texted her and Emily, asking for their help. It had been the first time, Penelope had contacted them on her own.   
They stopped the car in front of the house, where they saw Annie and Derek leaving their home. JJ and Emily greeted them, and Derek locked up the door for them.  
"Have fun, girls, see you in a while," he said, leaving them with Annie.   
Emily and JJ walked inside the house.  
"Garcie, we're here!" JJ called out, she didn't want to scare her best friend.   
"I'm in the kitchen!" Penelope called back and together, JJ and Emily shared a look and walked over to the kitchen were Penelope was busy getting the dough for her daughter's birthday cake ready.  
"Hey, girlies. I've already started, I hope that's alright?"   
"Yes, sure, hey Garcie," JJ answered stunned and walked over to her best friend to give her a big hug. "You're looking so good today!" JJ realized, watching Penelope a bit closer than before.   
Emily joined them, gave Penelope a hug too.   
"JJ's right, PG, you, indeed, look much better!"   
Penelope smiled at them and nodded a bit.  
"I feel much better today than the last few month's," she told them and filled the dough into smaller dishes, for they would color them in rainbow colors.  
"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear this! What happened?" JJ asked, grateful for seeing her best friend in a so much better state.  
"We took a shower and then...Derek happened," Penelope tried to explain. She'd opened up to JJ and Emily a while ago for they were her best friends and she trusted them completely. Just like she had faith her husband.  
"I can't explain, could never explain what he does, but," she shrugged and smiled a bit. "Whatever he tells, it workes, he makes me believe every single word he says, so yes, I feel better," Penelope told them, and JJ grinned in relief.  
"That's good news, I'm glad you didn't lose your trust in him."  
"I never did, I just wasn't brave enough, and this feeling of being ugly and dirty wouldn't leave my mind. But it was absolutely unnecessary. Derek is just...he's my noir hero."  
"As we told you, he wouldn't hurt you at any time," Emily joined the talking, she seemed just as relieved as JJ was.  
"Yes, and you've been right, girlies, I see that now. And I'm relieved that I made that step." Penelope said smiling at them.   
It was so good to see her like this, JJ couldn't stop grinning in happiness.  
"So what do you want to drink? I can't join you, but we have red and white wine, beer, whatever you want," Penelope asked them and both, JJ and Emily decided to get a glass of white wine. Penelope poured both of them their drink and pulled herself a glass of soda. She wasn't allowed to have alcohol for she was still taking her medicine. The drug addiction treatment would besides take 6 months at least, but Penelope was doing an excellent job after the first three months, JJ thought to herself while observing her best friend.  
The three of them took care of the cake then. In the end, they managed to get a beautiful rainbow colored cake, and JJ even brought a little unicorn from a bakery which she placed on top of the cake. They also wrote 'Happy Birthday Annie' in big letters on the top of the cake.  
"It looks great, Annie will love it," Emily said, smiling after she looked at their work.  
"Yes, she will. Thank you for helping me with it." Penelope brought the cake into the fridge.  
"You're welcome. Thank you for asking us," JJ said, feeling glad that Penelope had just been able to enjoy the evening with her friends without a panic attack or a flashback.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope hugged both of her friends, and they joined a few minutes of talking before Derek and Annie came back into the kitchen. She'd genuinely enjoyed the few hours with her friends, even if Derek wasn't here. It had been the first time, without Derek and she had made it through.   
Penelope, indeed, was proud of herself today. Tomorrow in therapy she would have a lot of things to talk about. For the first time since a few months she, again, felt like moving another step forward.   
JJ and Emily left an hour after Derek and Annie came back home. They would be back for Annie's birthday party too. She brought Annie to bed after having dinner and tugged her in, it was part of her daily ritual, and she enjoyed it, just like her daughter.   
After that, she just felt tired and exhausted. It had been an emotional day for her, so she and Derek decided to just go to bed and watch a movie until both of them fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

When the morning came, a very excited Annie awakened Penelope by jumping in the middle of Derek's and her bed. Penelope tensed for a second until she realized who hugged her only a moment later. She began to chuckle and hugged her daughter back.  
"Good morning birthday girlie!" She said, grinning and kissing her daughter's forehead, cradling her towards her.  
"Good morning, momma! I was dreaming that you were gone again, and when I awoke I wanted to see if you are really here for my birthday! And you are here, that was my biggest wish, momma!" Annie said truthfully with a beaming smile and snuggled up to her mom. Penelope's heart broke at these words, and she squeezed her daughter even more.  
"I'm here Baby Doll, I'll be here for your party later, and I baked you a really great cake together with your aunties! And I will be there for all your next birthday's too, I promise." Penelope said, kissing her daughter's cheek.  
Annie giggled and caused Derek to stir awake too. He turned to his side to face his girls.  
"What's going on here?" He asked with a smile, causing Annie to giggle in amusement.  
"It seemed like someone sneaked into our bed to get some early birthday wishes," Penelope answered, making Annie laugh again.  
"Ah, I see, so I think it's my turn now?" He asked, grinning and Penelope nodded in agreement.  
"Your turn Sugar Shack!" She answered, and Derek moved closer to hug them both, Penelope and Annie, for they still clung to each other.  
"Happy birthday, Baby Doll! Ready for a great day?" He asked, and Annie nodded keenly.  
"Yessy yes, daddy! I can't wait to start! Can we have pancakes with a lot of chocolate sauce this morning? For it's my fifth birthday, please??" Annie asked, looking at both of them with big pleading eyes.  
"How can we say no to this beautiful face of yours," Derek grinned and gave Penelope a kiss after he gave his daughter another one.  
"Yeah, my birthday's starting awesome!" Annie said with a happy grin.  
"Momma, you're helping me get dressed?" She asked then, as she did every morning and Penelope nodded in agreement. "Sure thing Baby Doll, let's get started then, so we're ready when daddy has these delicious pancakes ready," she answered, winking at her favorite little girl. Annie seemed like she couldn't be happier at this moment and jumped out of her parent's arms, out of bed, to run into the bathroom.  
Penelope and Derek chuckled and enjoyed some private time in bed, for Annie would need a few moments on her own. They shared a few loving kisses, and Derek pulled her towards him, slowly caressing her back. Penelope felt herself shiver under his touch. They enjoyed each other's closeness until Annie called after her.  
"I'll have to go Handsome," she whispered against Derek's lips, stroking his cheek.  
"I'm so sorry you have to," he murmured back, giving her a last passionate kiss.  
"To be continued," she whispered into the kiss when she eventually realized, she felt aroused for the first time in years. She pressed her body against Derek's and felt his arousal too. A silent moan escaped her lips without recognizing it.  
God, how much she wanted to stay in bed with her Chocolate Thunder to see how this was going, but they had time, and she wouldn't rush into it.  
"You bet we will continue that," Derek answered, grinning and they both got out of bed. Penelope headed to her daughter, Derek into the kitchen, ready to start the day.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek was in a good mood today. Penelope's reaction to him earlier had definitely caused that. Hearing her moaning again in pleasure had made his morning entirely better within seconds. So he was whistling while getting the pancakes for him and his girls ready, and as soon as he placed the dishes on the table, his favorite girls came into the room.  
Annie was dressed in her favorite yellow dress with white dots all over it, and Penelope had made their daughter's hair curly. She'd placed many flower clips into her hair. Annie looked so beautiful.  
"Baby Doll, you look great! Ready for your picture?" Derek asked her and Annie agreed happily. Penelope grabbed the camera, and in a few minutes the picture was taken, so they were ready for breakfast.  
Annie didn't stop talking the whole time during breakfast and the entire way to the kindergarten. Penelope had made some cupcakes for her friends and kindergartener, she handed them to Annie after the girl had hugged him and her mother. After the birthday girl headed into the kindergarten, Penelope and Derek made their way back home.  
They cleaned the house and adorned the living room with Annie's favorite stuff: Rainbows and unicorns. They set the table for Annie's friends and for the grown-ups. When they were ready, they had nearly two hours to pick up Annie.  
"I'm going to take a shower Baby Girl, that's alright?" He asked her and pulled her into his embrace.  
"Sure Handsome! I'm going upstairs, take a look at my clothes, I still don't know what I should wear later," Penelope answered him, and he looked down at her with a smile.  
"Whatever you're wearing, you'll look as beautiful as ever to me," he kissed her to prove his words.  
"Thank you," she smiled at him and, after giving him a second kiss, they both headed upstairs.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope stood in front of the mirror in her and Derek's bedroom, facing her body for the second time.  
She was completely naked.  
Memories flashed her mind, and she knew she needed to went through them before she would be able to entirely start again.  
She remembered the day, she'd been kidnapped.  
It had been a cold winter day, on an early evening. She'd been heading to the store to get some vegetables and food for Annie. Derek had been at home with their daughter. Penelope had never reached the store. When she'd stopped at a red light, someone had opened the door to her car, had pulled her out and sedated her. Penelope hadn't seen anything. When she'd woken up, Penelope had been in her cell, she'd shared with Mary for most of the two years she'd been kidnapped.  
The first day she'd been there, they'd forced her to hide her kidnapper's work. Penelope had refused to do anything. It had been the worst day of her life she'd thought. Janine had sent three men to her. They'd punished her, raped her until she was unconscious. When Penelope had woken up, they'd done it again and again. She'd been sure they'd broken at least two ribs, for she hadn't been able to breathe for many weeks. Her eyes had been swollen for at least a week, her glasses were broken into pieces. Together with a bunch of drugs, they'd given her the morning-after pill after her punishment.  
The next time, she'd been forced to hide her kidnappers work, she'd done it without a second ask.  
Almost daily, they'd used drugs on her.  
The only comfort had been Mary. She had been the only one to keep her from getting mad, even if Mary had been taken just as often as she'd been. Instead of her, Mary had been used as a prostitute. They hadn't talked much about the jobs she and Mary had to do, they'd just supported each other during nausea, headache, trembling and other withdrawals they'd been suffering. Mary had shared stories about her family as well as Penelope had done.  
One time, Penelope couldn't think while doing her job for her kidnapper. She'd drifted off to sleep during her work for her kidnapper's men had given her too much heroin. She hadn't been able to do her job accurate. That was the next time, they'd punished her, it had been about three months after her kidnapping. Janine Gerard had shown her pictures of her family. She'd seen Derek in such a worse state, Annie had been crying on the photo she'd been given.  
It had broken her heart even more.  
After that, her kidnapper's men had done the same to her like the first time. Penelope hadn't been able to move around for at least a whole week. She hadn't been able to sit, it had been the first time they'd penetrated her anal. It had hurt worse than everything before. Every time, Janine Gerard men had raped her she'd gotten the morning-after pill.  
At least, Penelope hadn't had to worry about this. They raped her every time she'd her work done. Penelope couldn't count the times she'd been raped in every possible way anymore. Most of the time, there hadn't been a place on her skin that hadn't been bruised or broken. They just hit her, when she hadn't done her work accurate, but thanks to the drugs, she'd been given, it happened quite often.  
Thinking about that now, Penelope shuddered.  
It had been a neverending story to her.  
She still felt guilty for not locking the doors of her car, for not fighting enough.  
She furthermore felt ugly and dirty for being raped in every way she could think about now but had refused to do before she'd went through this.  
But still, here she was.  
Alive.  
She'd made it through.  
After she'd been home two month's, she'd written a letter to Mary's husband. It had been essential for her to, for she ever had been a caring person, and she wanted Mary's husband to know that she'd always talked about him and their daughter in the most loving way. Penelope had felt a little bit better after doing this, even if she'd never received a response from Mary's husband.  
She began to observe her body. Derek was right, she'd gained scars all over her body. One cut was half across her chest and belly. One man of Janine had cut her after she'd done something wrong. He'd tried to kill her, but Janine had stopped him right in time. Penelope shuddered thinking about that. She'd thought she would die that day.  
She followed the lines of the scar with her index finger, swallowing.  
The next scar was on her back, and she turned around to face them too. Turning her head towards the mirror, she looked at them for the first time. Penelope remembered the day, she'd gained them all too well. Never, in her whole life, she'd felt so suppressed and degraded. But the men who'd raped her had known how to make her feel even worse.  
"You fuckin' slut, you're enjoying it, right, yeah, you're worthless, ugly little Miss Piggy! Be glad I'm taking you, my fat little whore, no one will ever want you if you make it out alive." With every word, the man had cut her deep into the skin of her back.  
Mary had helped her cleaning the wounds after her raping.  
Penelope sighed and just wondered how Derek was still able to love her body. He'd told her yesterday, and yet, she couldn't believe it even if she wanted. Penelope knew she would fully accept his words when she was able to let him show her how much he loved her. Penelope trusted him with her life so she would, and she felt she wanted to feel him again.  
Turning around again, she walked a bit closer to the mirror, watching her face. She didn't look as exhausted as months before. Everyone told her how much better she was looking, how much healthier and that was something she believed for she was able to see it on her face.  
Penelope hadn't realized she was crying until she saw the tears streaming down her face. It was the first time she ran through memories without panicking, without being caught in a flashback. Penelope was able to look at herself. Still, she felt ugly, but she knew Derek would make her feel better and she would give him this chance.  
Hugging herself, and sobbing she felt a bit more at ease than she did before.

* * *

* * *

  
Derek walked back into the bedroom when he saw Penelope standing naked in front of the mirror. She was crying as she watched herself. First, he didn't want to disturb her, but he felt she needed him, so he walked behind her, hugging her to him.  
"Hey, what's wrong Goddess?" He asked her softly when she leaned herself into him.  
"Nothing's wrong, I'm just remembering," Penelope answered, fully sobbing now. She turned around and hugged him, squeezed him.  
Derek softly caressed her back all the while she was crying. She would explain herself later when she was ready, even if she really was worrying him right now.  
He sat down with her on their, pulling her to his lap. She clung to him when he wrapped his blanket around her shoulders.  
"I'm sorry Derek," Penelope sobbed leaning her head against him, trying to wipe away her tears with trembling hands.  
"I was just, so lost in my thoughts and remembered what these men did to me and I feel ugly and dirty. But I want you, I want you so bad, and I don't deserve that. You, your love, how can you still want me? I felt it yesterday and today. The men, they always told me how ugly I am...," she talked faster and faster, so Derek put one of his big palms under her chin to make her look at him.  
"Baby....whatever these jackasses have told you, it isn't true. Goddess, you're the most beautiful woman, I've ever met. I love you since ever. You're sexy and caring. These scars aren't necessary, I have them too. But what's more important is what you are, and that's still there, inside of you. These people told you the wrong things, they weren't able to see what you are: sexy, loving, caring. You have the softest skin I've ever felt, you have the biggest heart I've ever seen, the most beautiful eyes and lips. I love everything about you. There's not one thing I don't like, you, Baby Girl, are perfect." He placed his hand on her right cheek and wiped away her still streaming tears.  
"I'm so proud of you. You're telling me about what's going on in your head, you let me help you. You, Penelope Morgan, are such a strong woman, and I love you even more right now."  
He gently kissed her on the lips, carefully not to scare her, but he didn't, she answered his kiss passionately as she placed her hands on both sides of his face.  
"I love you so much," she whispered during two sobs. "Thank you for still being with me, I know I'm no fun sometimes."  
He watched her as she began to calm down and smiled at her.  
"Penelope Morgan, you're worth every hour I haven't slept, every moment I worried about you. It's worth the fight, you will see." He caressed her cheek lovingly.  
"Don't rush Baby, alright? I know you want me and hell, I want you too, but we have time. And when you're ready I'll show you how much I love you. I won't run away, take your time."  
She nodded, seemed to be relieved and slowly kissed him before she leaned her head against him.  
"Thank you, Handsome...," she told him after a moment. He knew it wasn't easy for her, she'd made awful memories. But today, she'd remembered without getting a panic attack or getting caught in a flashback.  
"I'm so very proud of you, Penelope," he answered, holding her in his arms. "Every day, you make a step forward, and I know you realize it too. Be proud of yourself, too. It makes things a bit easier, believe me."  
"I'll try," she answered him with a soft voice. And Derek knew she would.


	17. Chapter 17

Fran made her way to Derek and Penelope's house. Derek had told her to come in by herself, he didn't know if they would be at home when she arrived.  
So she used her key and walked into her son's and daughter-in-law's house. Fran pulled her bag in front of the stairs, she would take them upstairs later. For now, she just wanted a big cup of coffee. Fran headed into the kitchen to make some when she heard muffled voices from upstairs. For a second she listened to the sounds of her daughter-in-law and her son but decided not to disturb them right now. Penelope seemed to cry, she would need Derek far more than she needed a hug from her Baby Boy.   
Fran used the time to make some coffee for all the three of them and waited a while longer until she couldn't hear her daughter-in-law cry anymore.  
"Guy's, I'm here!" She called then, to let Derek and Penelope know she'd arrived.  
"We're there in a few! Make yourself at home, mama!" Derek called from upstairs. Fran smiled and poured herself the biggest cup she could find full of coffee and sat down on the kitchen table. The flight had been long, and she felt tired.  
A few minutes later, Penelope and Derek walked into the kitchen. Derek greeted Fran and gave her a big, loving hug. "Welcome, Mama, Annie will be excited to see you as her surprise guest," he told her which caused Fran to smile.   
"Oh, I can't wait to see my lovely grandchild! Is she doing good?"   
"Yeah, she's doing great," Derek answered smiling and moved aside to grab him and Penelope some coffee too. Fran then walked over to her daughter-in-law. She saw her red-rimmed eyes, but anyway, Penelope smiled shyly at her.  
"Hey Fran," she greeted her and allowed Fran to pull her into a big, loving embrace.  
"Hey sweetheart, how are you doing?" She asked Penelope. They'd talked a few times, and Fran still was very concerned about her daughter-in-law.   
"I think I'm getting better," Penelope answered with a shy voice, smiling a bit.   
"Or at least, I'm finally making progress," she said when Derek joined them, wrapping one arm around Penelope's shoulder to give her the coffee he'd made for her. Penelope still was very silent around other people, but Fran always tried her best to get her beloved daughter-in-law into talking.  
"Thank you Hot Stuff," Penelope took the cup, leaning a bit against her husband. Fran observed them both and smiled at what she saw.   
"It looks like you are," she said then, smiling at both of them. "I'm so glad, god I can't tell you!" Fran felt happy tears burning in her eyes, and she put her cup aside to wrap both of them into her arms again.  
"Hey, mama, it's alright, we're glad too," Derek laughed while he hugged her back and Penelope did the same on the other side. Fran kissed both of them on their cheeks.  
They sat around the kitchen table and drank their coffee while talking until it was time to pick up Annie.  
"I'll get her, you two girls stay here, it's alright," Derek told them when he kissed Penelope on her forehead. "I'll be back in a few." Penelope watched him as he walked away, she appeared nervous, but Fran decided to talk her out of it.  
"No need to worry, sweetheart, I won't ask you anything you can't tell me. It's alright."  
She slowly grabbed Penelope's hand and gave it a squeeze.  
"Thank you, Fran. I just had some kind of flashback earlier, but I'm going to be okay," Penelope answered her honestly.   
"I know that, but if you ever need me, I'm just a phone-call and a flight away, don't you dare forget that!"  
"Thank you, mama, I'm just too ashamed sometimes, even now...you heard us, right?" Penelope asked, and Fran nodded.   
"I heard you, but I didn't hear any words you've said, I refused to listen. But even if I would've heard them, you have no need to be ashamed Penelope. Not in front of your family."  
Penelope nodded slowly, trying a sincere smile which worked a bit better than before.   
"I know, I'm learning to trust again, it'll get better. It is getting better, to be honest. But it's hard, and I'm fighting. I just wanted to pick some clothes for Annie's party when some memories came to my mind. But I didn't panic, I think that's good," Penelope said looking at both of their hands, while Fran listened to her. She was glad that they were able to talk about these things. Derek was a great man, but sometimes a woman needed other women to get past things.  
"That's a good sign, sweetheart. You have more control over the things which happened to you, that's quite good," squeezing Penelope's hand, the older woman smiled at her.   
"I've cost Derek so many nerves, I want to do better," Penelope answered her.  
"You know you're not a burden to any of us right?" Fran asked her, and her daughter-in-law nodded slowly.  
"I know that. It's hard to understand sometimes, but yes and I appreciate it so much," the younger woman squeezed her hand now and looked at her mother-in-law.  
"I'm glad you're here, indeed. Do you think I can wear this for Annie's party later?" Penelope changed the subject, and Fran let her. She knew how hard it was for her to talk about these things.   
"I'm glad, too, honey." She answered and looked at the dress, Penelope was wearing. She wore a simple blue dress. Nothing compared to the dresses she used to wear before her kidnapping but it suited her, she looked beautiful.   
"It looks excellent on you, but what about your hair?" Fran asked then, realizing she just combed her hair.  
"I don't know what to do with them," Penelope answered honestly but unsure.  
"Don't you worry about this, I have an idea, do you trust me?" Fran asked, and Penelope nodded promptly, Fran knew her daughter-in-law trusted her. She styled her hair just a bit so it would remember on her daughter-in-law's old hairstyle.   
"Look at you!" Fran said when she finished and smiled at Penelope.  
"Thank you, Fran," Penelope whispered after looking in the mirror and slowly stroking her hair. "It looks...," she began when the door burst open, and Annie ran into the kitchen.  
"Momma, you here? Grannie!" Annie crushed into her grandmother's arms, and Fran hugged her grandchild after she'd picked her up into her arms.

* * *

* * *

  
Penelope stood there, watching her Baby Doll hugging her grandmother tightly. Annie loved her grandma very much it was written all over her face. She remained silent until Derek came, to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Penelope leaned against him and smiled. She felt better now. Talking with Derek and Fran had made things better for her. The Morgan family always knew how to make her feel so much better.  
She smiled at her husband when he turned her around to face him and to give her a loving kiss.   
"You look better, how do you feel? And what's with your hair? It looks really good," he smiled at her and waited for her answers. Penelope touched his cheek while answering.  
"I do feel better, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to worry about me again," she began, and Derek tried to interrupt her, but she silenced him with putting her index finger on his mouth.  
"I know you don't want me to be sorry, and I'm trying not to be, but I am because it's our daughter's birthday, she's the important one today. I feel better, I'm honest, Handsome. And thank you for the compliment, my statuesque god of sculpted Chocolate Thunder," she said to him before giving him a loving kiss.  
"Momma? What is that what you said? Chocolate Thunder?"  
Derek chuckled, looking at her with amusement.   
"Yeah, tell us, Baby Girl," he whispered and grinned at her. Penelope turned around to face her daughter, who looked at her with curiosity.  
"Chocolate Thunder, my beloved Baby Doll is something I use to call your daddy," she answered Annie's question honestly.   
Annie looked at both of her parents in concern.  
"You both have strange nicknames for each other," she merely said which caused all three adults to choke laughter.  
"That's so true, Baby Doll, but you know one nickname just isn't enough," Derek said, his arms still wrapped around Penelope's shoulder. He gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and Annie tittered, yet snuggled up to her grandmom.  
Penelope smiled because of this normalcy, she loved her family so much. They made her able to feel at ease.  
Soon, the house would be full of guests, Annie had invited her kindergarten group, and the team would come too. They didn't have a case today. They all would be able to join Annie's birthday party included their family.  
In the afternoon, Annie's friends and the team were finally there. Annie was busy playing with her friends, and Derek made them play some fun games, causing all the other people to watch the children playing around.  
Penelope excused herself for a moment when she realized she needed a moment on her own. She left the living room to walk outside to the back porch to get some fresh air. Penelope enjoyed the afternoon and early evening so far, even if she still was nervous because of all the people around her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.   
When she heard the door swung open, she opened them again and turned around to see Hotch joining her. Penelope smiled at him.   
"Hey bossman, do you need anything?" She asked him when he stopped in front of her.   
"I just wanted to talk to you in silence, if that's alright?" He asked her, and she nodded, curious, what he wanted to tell her.  
He watched her with his stoic expression for a moment, but he then smiled one of his rare smiles at her.   
"I wanted to tell you, I'm glad you're back. We haven't had the time to talk."  
"Thank you for letting me now...," Penelope answered, but Hotch stopped her.  
"Really, I'm glad. I told Morgan to go on when you were still lost after a year but he refused, and he was right."  
"You're feeling sorry?" Penelope asked then, watching her boss trying to hold on to his emotions. She hardly had seen him like this before after his wife, Hailey, had been killed so many years ago.  
"Yes, I'm very sorry," he answered then, still looking at her and, to both of their surprises, Penelope smiled at him softly.   
"I don't think you need to, bossman. You were right back then. Derek had to go on, and there was no possibility if you furry people will ever find me. I think he needed that speech back then," she told Hotch. Penelope could understand why he felt sorry for saying Derek these things, but she just thought he had been right and wanted him to know that.  
"I appreciate that Penelope," Hotch answered and showed one of his rare smiles.  
"I talked to Morgan as well, and he answered the same."  
"That's one of many reasons why we're married," Penelope answered with a slight chuckle. She took his arm then, so they could walk back inside the house.  
"Did you try the birthday cake, by the way? I haven't seen you get a slice of it," she asked him, changing the subject and opened the door.  
"I haven't had the chance until now," Hotch answered, holding the door open, so Penelope could walk inside first.   
"You have to, Annie will be sad if you don't. On our flight back home from Oklahoma, she told me you're a superhero, do you know that?" She talked to him, while they made their way to the kitchen.  
"Let me think, Jack told her?"  
"He did, indeed. We were so grateful when you got us the jet. I wouldn't have managed to be in such a big crowd back then, thank you." Penelope still felt the panic rising in her gut when she thought about the day, Derek brought her home. And how grateful she was when she realized her boss had managed to get the FBI jet just for her.  
They walked back into the kitchen and Penelope gave him a slice of Annie's birthday cake.  
"Thank you. I'm just glad, I could help," Hotch answered, tasting the cake, she'd given him.  
"That's really good," he said when Derek joined them. He wrapped an arm around Penelope's waist and gave her a kiss on her cheek.   
"Here you are, I've been looking for you," he said when she leaned into his arm.  
"I was outside, with Hotch," she answered apologetically. "We had to catch up on a few things," trying to explain their talk as much as she could.  
"I see, but I told you, you don't need to apologize, Hotch," Derek said, pulling Penelope close to him as if he was afraid she would go away again. She leaned her head against his shoulder not thinking about leaving her husband. To be honest, she was more enjoying his closeness for they hadn't had much time together since this morning.   
"But I told you I would," Hotch answered, after chewing a bit of Annie's birthday cake.  
"It was needed to be said."  
"Thank you, man," Derek said. Together they walked back into the living room and enjoyed a few more hours of being together as a team and a family.   
The evening came very fast, and all of them said their goodbyes, the kids all tired but happy, just like the adults. Fran brought Annie to bed, read her a bedtime story, while Penelope and Derek cleaned the living room and kitchen a bit. They didn't last long that evening, and soon, all of them went to bed. Penelope had a dreamless sleep, cuddled up to Derek's side who held her close to him the whole night, sleeping as well as Penelope did.  
In the morning, they would have some private time, Fran would head with Annie to the zoo, and Penelope was looking forward to a day off together with her husband.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning Derek woke up with his wife wrapped around him. One of her legs laid over both of his and one arm was placed around his waist, her head resting on his chest. Just like she did sleep before she was kidnapped. Derek felt at ease, seeing her like this. To him, it was a remarkably good sign, it appeared like Penelope began to trust in herself again. Smiling at her relaxed looking facial expression, Derek slowly lifted one hand up to caress her blonde hair. He loved doing that since the first time they laid together like this few years ago.  
Penelope began to stir in his arms after a while and slowly opened her eyes.  
"Good morning, Baby Girl," Derek said in a low voice, wanting to keep her as relaxed as she was right now.  
Yawning, his wife answered. "I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff!"   
Stunned for a second, both of them looked at each other. Only seconds later, Derek grinned at Penelope full of happiness.   
"You showed me right now," he answered, claiming her lips with a loving kiss. Responding to the kiss, he felt his wife smiling. He touched her cheek with one of his hands and caressed her cheekbone with his thumb, the kiss was getting more intense with every passing second.   
Pulling apart in need of air, both of them looked at each other for a while, not able to say a word.  
Derek didn't stop caressing Penelope's cheekbone, god, he couldn't tell how much he wanted her right now. He was sure she felt his arousal, for her leg was placed right there. Derek smiled at her, not feeling ashamed. Instead, he was glad about it, so she would see and feel how much he still wanted her with every bone of his body.  
"Derek," Penelope whispered after a second, her cheeks blushing a bit and she averted her eyes to look at his hard cock hidden behind his sleeping pants.  
"Penelope?" He answered with a questioning voice, still looking at her. She locked her eyes with his.  
"May I touch you?" Her question was barely a whisper, he could see her blushing more but there was no need to be ashamed of this, and he would show her.   
"I would love to feel your hands on my body," he answered truthfully before Derek kissed her once again.   
After their kiss, Penelope slowly lifted her arm, which was still curled around his waist and placed her slightly trembling hand over the tent that was built in his sleeping pants. Derek moaned just at the feeling of her hand placed on his erection. God how much he'd missed her!  
Slowly she rubbed her trembling hand over his cock, still covered in his sleeping pants. Derek realized it and placed his big palm over her hand.  
"If you're not ready, you can stop it," he told her in a calming voice. He didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for.  
"I want you so bad, Handsome," Penelope answered, looking at him. "But I don't know what and how to do it...," she tried to look away in shame, but Derek stopped her.   
"Hey, don't look away Baby Girl, it's okay. Let me help you," he suggested, and she looked back at him. Penelope nodded slightly, tears were forming in her eyes, so he wrapped his arms around her to pull her into a big embrace.  
"We have the whole day, we take our time, doing it all at your pace. If you feel you're not ready for anything don't push yourself, it's alright Goddess."  
She nodded, snuggling up against him.   
"I'm totally overwhelmed, being aroused, I haven't felt like this in years. But I need you Handsome," Penelope looked at him, and he totally understood her. Again, he claimed her lips with his. Today Derek would show Penelope how much he loved her, that she still could feel that way without having memories of her raping. He would replace all the bad memories with good ones.  
"Do you trust me?" He asked her then, only to see her nodding as soon as the question had been asked.  
"With all my heart," she answered promptly, and he believed every word she said.  
So, he gently placed her on her back and rose up to his knees. He watched her laying in front of him, just covered in a top and sleeping pants. Derek smiled at her, seeing the nervousness in her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her softly then slowly began to place soft kisses on her throat and her collarbone. A little moan escaped Penelope's lips when Derek kissed the delicate skin right under her ear. He knew that was a sensitive spot for her. With both of his hands, he slowly stroke both of her arms, then began to wander to her waist.   
Derek looked at her the whole time, he could tell, Penelope's body became tense as soon as he started pulling up her top.   
"Are you alright with this?", he asked her, stopping his motions.  
"I'm too ugly...," Penelope only answered. He felt so sorry for her, having these feelings right now.  
"You're not. Like I told you, you are the most beautiful woman to me, and I love every inch of your body, god, how much I adore your body," he answered and leaned in, to kiss her bare belly. He felt her shivering under his kiss and smiled a bit.  
"Never, in my whole life will you be ugly to me in any way," he said while kissing every inch of her belly that wasn't covered by her top. Soon, she began to relax, her body getting less tense with every kiss and every soothing and loving word he told her. Instead, she whispered his name in pleasure, and that was all Derek needed right now. He pushed up her top a bit more, and this time, she allowed him to pull it over her head. Derek threw the top to the ground and watched his wife who tried to hide her beautiful and perfect breasts.  
"Don't hide from me, I won't ever hurt you, Penelope Morgan," he then gently grabbed her by her wrists and put her arms on her sides.  
Penelope laid there, stiff with suddenly closed eyes. When Derek realized it, he stopped his movements and laid down beside her on his side to watch her. Penelope slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, taking a deep breath.  
"Is it too much?" He asked her gently, and she shook her head.  
"You're doing perfect Handsome," she answered with a little smile, taking his hand in hers to place it over her right breast.   
"There are so many feelings right now, I'm just a bit overwhelmed, but I'm fine, it feels so good though," looking at him, he could see she was telling the truth.  
"Alright, but just tell me to stop and I will." Derek wanted to do everything right for his wife. He loved her too much and didn't want her to rush into something. This would be all about her, he would have waited his whole life for her.  
Penelope nodded and closed her eyes again, loosening the grip on his hand.   
Slowly he began to knead her right breast with his big palm. They were still firm and just like he'd remembered them.   
"God, Baby Girl," he whispered when a silent moan escaped her lips. He looked at her face, her lips were slightly opened, her breathing increased a bit. Penelope was the most beautiful woman in the world, and he wished he could take a picture of her right now.  
"Do you like that?" He asked as he tweaked her already hard nipple.   
"Mhhm," was the only answer he received and smiled at her reaction. Slowly he leaned in and began to suck on her nipple, his hand wandering to her left breast to pay her the attention she deserved. It didn't last long until Penelope arched her back to his touch, this time moaning louder.  
"Derek," she finally was able to say, her voice full of passion.   
Hearing her, he rose up to his knees, causing her to open her eyes. Derek stood up, shoving off his pants with one move, his eyes always on Penelope's expression. She looked down at his now fully exposed cock.  
"I want you so badly," she whispered which caused his cock to twitch.  
"Hell I want you too, Goddess, am I allowed to undress you?" He asked her then, and she nodded. Derek smiled and kneeled down on the bed beside her to take off her sleeping pants. When he pushed them over her hip, the scent of her arousal hit his nose which caused him to groan.  
Kneeling down in front of her, he brought her legs apart and stroke slow circles around her inner thighs. Derek still knew how to get his woman more and more aroused, and by a look on her face, Derek knew he was on the right way to do so. He caressed her legs and let his hands glide to her pelvis and back to her tighs. Slowly Derek brushed over the strip of hair on her mound. Glancing up, he saw her face was still relaxed, even if she was watching him.  
"You alright?" He asked her with a hoarse voice, having her naked, so close to him was unbelievable good.  
"Yes," she answered and smiled at him. She still was relaxed, so he went on, doing everything to show her how much he loved her, how beautiful she was to him.  
Slowly, he began to explore her pussy, massaging her there like he'd never done before. But Penelope gave him the right response, arching her hip a bit to his hand and moaning his name silently. Drops of precum fell from the tip of his hard cock onto the blanket. He took a deep, calming breath. This was about Penelope not him. Her chest was rising and falling with each increased breath she took. Derek let his right thumb move between her lips, stroking up and down firmly at her entrance. Penelope again pushed her hips up, and Derek placed his free hand on the top of her mound to hold her down gently. Soft moans began to fill their bedroom as she became more aroused by his touch.  
Leaning down, he blew a gentle breath over her slit and watched her as she tried to raise up again. He did it one more time and then moved his thumb to her clit, running in soft circles on the bundle of nerves there. All he wanted was her to come just by his touch. Penelope let out a small cry of pleasure, closing her eyes.   
Derek felt his wife getting close, and as soon as he stroke her clit one last time an orgasm hit Penelope. Her body arched against his hand and she moaned his name in pleasure. Derek watched her as he slowed down his movements. Never in his life, he'd seen anything more beautiful than watching his wife having an orgasm just from him touching her. When she began to come down, Penelope opened her eyes again, watching him.   
"I want you to make love to me, Handsome," she whispered. An invitation he would accept at every time.  
"You want it, you'll get it Baby Girl," he answered, shifting on his knees some and spreading her legs some more he ran his hands up and down of Penelope's body. He then positioned himself between her legs, so that his cock was barely touching her entrance. He nuzzled her softly on her sensitive point as he slowly began to push in. Easing himself into her, he opened his eyes at the sound of Penelope's sharp breath.  
"Baby Girl?" He asked, seeing Penelope's eyes closed tightly.  
"I'm good...give me a minute," she answered after a second, opening her eyes. Slowly reaching up, to caress Derek's cheek she began to smile at him.   
"I will never forget how good you feel inside me, Sugar Shack," she said, nodding at him to go on.  
Derek smiled at her and nodded.   
"Same here, Baby Girl. I'll go slow...," he then began to move a bit, rocked into her gently as he felt her hand caressing his arms and shoulder. Derek took his time, his movements very slow at the beginning until Penelope began to move her hips with him. It felt like heaven to him! They moved together until his strokes began to increase, Penelopes hips began to arch up, meeting him with each push into her. Feeling her hands on his body, he brought his lips to hers to kiss his wife passionately.   
Feeling and seeing Penelope relaxed and almost enjoying what they were doing, he began to move at a faster rate, sensing his impending release from deep within. The room was filled with their moans of pleasure, as they brought each other closer to release. Derek felt Penelope's body starting to tingle, and he knew it wouldn't last much longer.  
"Come for me Baby Girl, come with me," he groaned, knowing that he wouldn't last much longer too.  
He sped up his thrusts, and it didn't take them long for them feeling the sensations of an orgasm ripping through their bodies.  
Derek laid down beside Penelope pulling her into his arms while still panting.  
"That was wonderful," he heard Penelope whispering in a tearful voice. Derek looked at her beautiful face, smiling at her with so much love.  
"You are wonderful," he whispered, kissing her softly.   
"I love you so much, Baby Girl."  
"I love you too, Hot Stuff, thank you..."  
"Thank you for what?"  
"For showing me how to make love again, for taking my fears away, for just being you. Thank you."  
Derek smiled at her, tears now forming in his own eyes.   
"Always will I love you, I will always be there for you. Don't forget it."  
"I will never forget it," she whispered, kissing him on her own and snuggling up against him. Wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning her head against his chest he saw her smiling.  
"I haven't felt that good for a long time. When will we have a second round?" Penelope asked him, looking up to meet his eyes. Grinning, Derek answered, welcoming back his Baby Girl. That was just like he remembered her.  
"Whenever you are ready, my beautiful Goddess!"

 


	19. Epiloque

6 months later  
"How are you doing, Mrs. Morgan?"  
"I'm doing just fine."  
Penelope looked at her doctor with a smile. Today was the day she became the results of her blood tests. In the past few months, she'd been able to downscale the medicine she had to take to a lower level, and Penelope was hoping that she could finally discontinue them today.  
"I see you gained some weight, that's great, was it on purpose?" Every time Penelope's doctor would ask her the same questions, but with some time, Penelope became okay with it. It was for her health.  
"Yes, I wanted that, but I'd like to stop gaining weight now, I'm feeling good in my body the way I am now," she answered honestly. Her doctor had been very patient with her in the last year, she'd helped her with a lot of struggles. But for a little while now, Penelope felt almost like herself again. She used to wear her old clothing style and her colorful glasses again. Penelope even thought about going back to work for one day a week, she'd talked with her therapist about it the day before.  
"That's alright, your body is in an excellent condition. If you decide to stop gaining weight, I'm absolute with you. Now to your results...," the doctor said, and like every time, Penelope became very nervous. She hadn't had any withdrawals in month's and felt really good, so she was hoping for good results.  
Not realizing that she'd been drifting off in her thoughts, she only heard: ."...congratulations!", and looked at her doctor.  
"Excuse me?"  
Her doctor smiled at her and repeated what she was saying.   
"I said, your results are fine, we can discontinue your medicine today! And I said: congratulations for being pregnant!"   
Penelope stared at the woman in front of her in disbelieve. Never, never she'd expected that.  
"Pregnant?" She asked, staring at her doctor with wide eyes. Very soon after her team had saved her, a gynecologist from the Oklahoma hospital had told her it would be hard to get pregnant again, because of the many scars all the way to her uterus and inside of it too. Penelope hadn't cared much about it back then. She hadn't even thought about having sex for the rest of her life. Back then she'd never imagined she would be able to feel so much better in such a short time. Penelope couldn't be more grateful for her family and friends. If they hadn't been at her side all this time, she wouldn't have made it so far.  
"Yes, I would suggest you pay a visit to your gynecologist to see how far along you are."  
Penelope nodded slowly. She still couldn't believe it.  
"Yes. I mean, I'll go right away," Penelope answered, grabbing her purse and rose to her feet.  
Her doctor smiled and nodded at her. "I'm very happy for you, Mrs. Morgan."  
"Thank you so much," Penelope answered and smiled at her doctor before heading out and to her gynecologist.  
Could she really be pregnant? She and Derek had talked about it a few times. They were happy with her lovely daughter Annie, that was for real. Having another baby had become just a dream for both of them in the last month. Their sex life had been more than intense in these previous six month's. It felt as if they'd never been apart for two years. Slowly, Penelope had begun to feel more confident in having sex again, and they enjoyed having it oh so much, both of them.  
Arriving at the gynecologist, Penelope parked her car and checked the time. She had less than two hours before picking up Annie from the kindergarten. So Penelope hurriedly headed towards the doctor's office. To her luck, they had time to give her a checkup, and almost 30 minutes later, Penelope was crying happy tears when she received her pregnancy record and the first ultrasound picture from her baby. Penelope would have to take it slow. Because of all the scars she'd gained during her kidnapping time, it was a high risk she would lose the baby. Being pregnant in the 8th week was a good sign though, the gynecologist had told her. Sighing, she headed back to her car, checking on her cell phone, seeing she had two missed calls from Derek almost 20 minutes ago.   
Derek had been fully back to work about two months. The first and second time he had to stay away overnight, Fran had joined Annie and Penelope, just in case she had a flashback or a panic attack. But it had all went very well so the last few times, Derek had to leave Penelope had tried to stay alone with Annie. She indeed had been relieved when Derek came back almost a day later but also had been proud of herself for making it through the night without getting caught in a panic attack.  
Dialing his number she called him back.  
"Hey Baby Girl, everything's alright?" He answered the phone after a second.  
"Hey Handsome, yes, I've been to the doctor so I couldn't answer the call," Penelope explained, looking at her pregnancy record with a happy smile.  
"What does the doctor say?" Her husband asked, and if it was even possible, Penelope smiled even more.  
"Everything's just fine, I don't need no medication anymore," she answered grinning. "And there's something else, but that will be my secret until you're all coming home," she said with a sing-song voice, causing Derek to chuckle.  
"I bet you and Annie painted her room," he said, when Penelope started to laugh, she could hear Emily talking.  
"Bet she's buying us some pizza to welcome us back home!"  
"Oh well, that's a fine idea!" Penelope replied, grinning from ear to ear.  
"Whatever it is, I can't wait for you telling us your secret!" Derek said Penelope could hear the smile in her voice.  
"I can't wait to tell you," Penelope checked the time then. "When will you be home?" She could hear he was in the jet, so they were on their way home, and Penelope couldn't wait to tell her family the good news.  
"I think in about three hours."  
"Alright I fix some dinner for all of us, and you'll head right to our home as soon as the jet has opened his doors, alright my furry friends?"  
The answers were all positive, and with a smile, Penelope hung up the call a few minutes later. She then headed to the kindergarten to pick Annie up.  
Back home, she and Annie fixed some dinner for the BAU team, indeed, some pizza, just like Emily had wanted. They then waited patiently for them to come home while playing games and watching Annie's favorite show's on tv.  
"Hey Baby Doll, what would you say if daddy and I would soon have a little brother or sister for you?" She asked her daughter, when they sat on the couch, huddled up together.  
"I would like that momma," Annie replied, and after a moment she looked at Penelope with hopeful eyes.  
"Do I get a little brother or sister?" She asked with excitement and Penelope nodded with a big smile.  
"Really?!" Annie hugged her mother happily.   
"Really, Baby Doll, I'm going to tell your daddy and the team today," she explained to her daughter who giggled happily.   
"Daddy doesn't know yet? Oh my god that's going to be so cool," Annie replied, snuggling up to her momma and kissing her belly.  
Happy tears formed in Penelope's eyes when Annie did that, she couldn't wait for having another baby. Now she fully realized how much she'd wanted a second child. And her wish would come true if everything would work out well.  
Only minutes later, Derek and the team walked into the house.  
"I'm home!" Derek called from the hallway and Annie jumped up, but Penelope stopped her.  
"Give your daddy this," she told her, handing her the ultrasound picture in an envelope.  
Annie grinned and nodded, then ran over to her daddy to give him a big hug before giving him the envelope.   
"For you, daddy," she said and went over to hug JJ, Spencer, Emily, Hotch, and Rossi too.  
Penelope rose up from the couch to join her friends and family too, giving Derek the time to open the envelope and check out the picture. She hugged the whole team before Derek finally seemed to find his voice.  
"Is that true Baby Girl?" He just asked her, the same disbelieve in his look as she'd had earlier.  
Penelope walked over to him and nodded.   
"It's true, I'm pregnant," she said, causing the whole team to cheer up.   
Derek wrapped his arms around her and almost crashed his lips to hers. She put her arms around his back squeezing him.  
"God, I'm so happy, how far along are you?" He asked when they pulled apart.  
"I'm in the 8th week," she was only able to answer when JJ pulled her into her arms, followed by Spencer and the rest of the BAU team. They all told them how happy they were for Derek and Penelope.   
Together, they ate, drank and talked until late in the night. It was an evening full of laughter and happiness. Even Annie was allowed to stay up as long as she wanted. She fell asleep in her godfather's arms, and he tucked her in, after enjoying the weight of his goddaughter in his arms.  
When all of her guests were finally gone in the middle of the night, Penelope and Derek watched the picture of their little one a while until they finally headed to bed, too.

* * *

* * *

Seven months later  
Derek watched his wife, as she waddled to the car, with a smile. Today was the day their son would greet the world. The gynecologist had told them the best way to give birth would be through a c-section and Penelope and Derek both had agreed without a second thought. The pregnancy hadn't been easy. Penelope had been in pain very often, thanks to the scars in her uterus. But she'd taken it all with as much bravery as she could. Derek was so proud of her, she'd gone so far in the last years and a half.  
He took her bag and headed to the car too to help her get inside. Before he closed the door of the passenger's seat, he gave her a loving kiss. Penelope smiled at him. Both of them couldn't wait to welcome Hank Spencer Morgan to the world. Emily and Hotch would be his godparents and his grandma, Fran, would be at the hospital until now. She didn't want to miss the birth of her second grandchild.  
Soon, they reached the hospital, and to Derek, it was as if he'd even blinked one time until he held his son in his arms. Hank was just as little as Annie had been at her birth but Hank's head was covered with curly black hair. He looked just perfect.  
Smiling at his sleeping wife, he turned around to call his mom inside. Fran welcomed her grandson with a kiss on his forehead before pulling Derek and him into her arms.  
"I'm so happy for you!", she whispered, not wanting to wake up her daughter in law, for she needed her rest.   
"Thank you, mama, do you want to hold him?" Derek asked, and his mother nodded excited, so he gave his son over to her. He then took a picture of Hank and sent it to his team at the BAU. Derek was sure they were waiting for him to let them know when baby Hank was here. Including the picture he sent a text, to tell the team that both, Penelope and Hank were doing just fine and that his team was welcomed at any time. Penelope would have to stay a few days until she was allowed to come home.  
Derek sat down beside Penelope, and after a while, his beautiful wife opened her eyes.  
"Hey Hot Stuff," she greeted him, her eyes were glowing with happiness as she watched him.  
"Are you boys doing good?" She asked, and Derek nodded, smiling.   
"We are." He replied when Fran came over to give Hank to his mother. Penelope pulled Hank into her arms and examined her son, Derek decided to watch them, feeling his mother's hand on his shoulder.  
"How are you darling?" Fran asked Penelope after a while, causing her to look up from her son. She smiled at them brightly.  
"I'm doing just fine," she answered.   
Fran walked over to the bed to hug her daughter in law as best as possible and left the room to give them a few private minutes. Derek rose up from his chair and joined his wife and son in the hospital bed. He pulled Penelope in his arms, so they were all comfortable and kissed her softly.  
His wife smiled at him. There weren't many words needed as he smiled back and held her close.

THE END

 


End file.
